Ranking The Halloween Movies

Happy (almost) Halloween!

I absolutely love Halloween. While I've never had the chance to celebrate it in my second native land, and the day is a much smaller deal here in Finland, I still love the concept - what day of celebration is more badass than the one where people look the rustling leaves, full moons and creepy dark skies of autumn in the eye and decide to embrace the scariness of it all instead of diverting from it?

Hand in hand with my love for this spooky day is my love for John Carpenter's Halloween (1978), one of the greatest horror films of all time. One of the many reasons for the film being great is that it embodies the atmosphere of what Halloween should be - the creepy autumn atmosphere, filled with jack-o-lanterns and haunted imagery, comes to life brilliantly. In fact, I like the film so much, that last year I decided to watch all of its sequels. This may come as a shock to you, but slasher sequels aren't generally as good as the originals. Still, the franchise does have many gems as well as many misfires in its ranks - so without further ado, here's my ranking of all 11 Halloween films!

11. Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

Ugh. The third Halloween films has pretty much nothing to do with the original, as the major villain, the lore and all of the places and characters are different, with only the "takes place on Halloween" aspect still remaining. I suppose making such a different movie would've been fine, as long as the film was good. But Season Of The Witch is uninspired and awful, begging the question 'why would they make a terrible film that has nothing to do with the original instead of continuing the Michael Myers story?'

The main character, played by Tom Atkins in an unremarkable role, is an unlikable creep. The horror elements switch between not-scary-at-all and off-putting grotesque imagery that isn't scary in an interesting way. The film's plot is quite boring, and it ends so abruptly that I suppose the writers just didn't bother coming up with an actual ending. Yeesh.

10. Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

This film had potential: I actually really like the idea of zeroing in on the Myers house as the primary cause of horror, with the building's creepy past making for a haunted-house setting. There are some cool scenes. However, nothing in the film is good enough to make up for the fact that it doesn't need to exist, and that its existence hurts the franchise. The previous film, Halloween H20, had ended the original timeline in a fantastic way - and this unnecessary sequel absolutely ruins that ending by reversing it an upsetting manner.

Also, Busta Rhymes wasn't the most inspired casting choice for one of the film's main heroes.

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers (1989)

A majority of this film is pretty bad. The main characters are annoying (except for Donald Pleasance's Sam Loomis, who respectably continued to show up this far into the sequels), and the whole premise was starting to feel quite stale. The Revenge Of Michael Myers feels more like a Friday The 13th film than a Halloween one, as it pushes sex appeal and graphic violence to the forefront. However, the last 20 minutes or so are surprisingly awesome, thus making this sequel a notch better than the downright-horrible ones.

A lot happens in the film's weirdly good final act: there's a super-intense chute sequence, an emotional moment between the killer and the final girl, and a cliffhanger ending that made me actually excited (or at least curious) to see the next instalment of the franchise. Too bad that the first three quarters of the film failed to live up to its ending.

8. Halloween II (2009)

To be clear, this isn't the second Halloween film, but the sequel to the 2007 Rob Zombie remake. There are five movies in this franchise that are called either just Halloween or Halloween II. It's all quite messy.

While very far from being a great piece of cinema, this film is surprisingly good for something that is a sequel to a remake - that is to say, Halloween II isn't just a complete cash grab as one might expect. At its best, the film goes far and beyond the franchise's limits as Rob Zombie really takes some creative liberties - the plot twist around the film's 20-minute mark proved that this wasn't going to be a conventional by-the-numbers slasher. There's also some haunting and artistic imagery in the mix. However, at its worst, Halloween II is extremely messy, with a nonsensical plot and sloppy directing. I appreciate the film's ambition, but it often ends up being too ambitious for its own good.

7. Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988)

This one is by no means groundbreaking or mind-blowing, but for fans of slasher films or people who liked the original Halloween so much that they'd enjoy a movie that's similar but just a bit sloppier, this is an all-in-all solid sequel. It's only the third movie that Michael Myers appears in, so there was still horror and mystery to him, as opposed to many of the later sequels where he just doesn't feel scary anymore.

The film is also helped by the fact that the dreadful Season Of The Witch came before it. When watching this film, I honestly got pumped up with excitement when the iconic main theme started to play and Myers appeared, as I had missed these crucial elements of a good Halloween instalment.

6. Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers (1995)

There are many elements weighing this film down: the directing by Joe Chappelle is quite sloppy, parts of the plot are lazy, and the more traditional slasher elements aren't all that scary at this point. However, there are two major elements that boost this film up to surprising amounts of awesomeness. One of them is the presence of a young Paul Rudd, who absolutely steals the show in his role as Tommy Doyle (the little kid from the first Halloween film, all grown up now). Rudd is always a joy to watch, and he brings a fun energy into what would otherwise be quite a bleak film.

My favorite part of the film, however, is its polarizing decision to zero in on Halloween lore. Before this film, the day of Halloween had been a part of the franchise as an atmospheric device, but The Curse Of Michael Myers dives deep into the intriguing origins of the day: the plot connects the ancient pagan ritual of Samhain straight to the origin of Michael Myers, with a touch of witchcraft added to the mix. I found this to be an extremely cool way to keep the franchise fresh, as the story becomes intertwined with the very roots of Halloween in a creative and fascinating way.

5. Halloween (2007)

This Rob Zombie remake tends to divide the Halloween fanbase, and I'm definitely on the pro-remake side of the argument. It's not exactly Citizen Kane (1941), but it's infinitely better than you'd expect the remake of a slasher film to be. Instead of completely retelling the same story as the original film, this instalment focuses on the character of Michael Myers and tells his origin story. A majority of the film is set between the original film's opening scene and the rest of its events, as we follow the hardships Myers endured before escaping his asylum and becoming the frightening masked villain we know him as. This psychological aspect makes the film very different and quite intriguing.

Also, due to the film's lengthy origin-story-telling, the retold events of the original Halloween film feel like an ultimate climax when we finally get around to them. After a whole lot of character development and build-up, the last half an hour or so is absolutely thrilling as we get a condensed and fast-paced version of Myers's rampage in Haddonfield, Illinois. Quite the power move.

4. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

By slasher sequel standards, this one is quite epic. After a whole bunch of messy sequels had made the franchise stale, writers Robert Zappia and Matt Greenberg made the power move of retconning the newer sequels from existence, and making a follow-up to the first two movies, taking place two decades later. This meant, among other things, the return of Jamie Lee Curtis to the franchise, which in itself is a major win for the film. It's fantastic to see her character Laurie Strode again, not to mention a supporting role by the actress's mother (and original horror film scream queen) Janet Leigh.

A majority of the film is a suspenseful build-up to the confrontation between Laurie and Michael Myers. When it finally takes place, it's a huge payoff to see the franchise's main heroine going toe-to-toe against the iconic villain, and the film's ending is very satisfying (which makes it all the more frustrating that Halloween: Resurrection completely ruined it).

3. Halloween II (1981)

In the tradition of Rocky II (1979), Back To The Future Part II (1989) and Home Alone: Lost In New York (1992), this is one of those sequels that is exactly one notch down from the original, meaning that it's still very good, just not quite as good as its predecessor. Taking place on the same night as the original Halloween, this immediate follow-up feels almost like a second half to the same movie - I really recommend making a double feature out of these.

Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance reprise their roles with grace, while Michael Myers is still a terrifying villain. The film is paced well, as a slow build-up of Michael mysteriously 'still being out there' slowly escalates into a rampage as the villain makes his way to the hospital where Laurie is. The final act is absolutely exhilarating.

2. Halloween (2018)

It blows my mind how David Gordon Green managed to make a film with more or less the exact same premise as H20, but even better. This one was released (and takes place story-wise) four decades after the original, instead of two. H20 hasn't happened in this film's timeline, as it went even further than its predecessor and retconned all films from canon except for the original - even the events of Halloween II haven't happened in this timeline. This allows for a fresh take, where the one huge plot twist from Halloween II (I can't spoil it here but fans will know what I'm referring to) hasn't happened.

2018's Halloween is simply an awesome horror film, and a very above-average slasher. From the uniquely intense opening scene, in which two journalists confront the institutionalized Michael Myers in a hospital yard, it is clear that this is a serious and well-produced horror film, and not another cash grab. From there on out, the film is filled with well-built horror sequences that walk the line between feeling like the original Halloween and also finding a fresh new style. Jamie Lee Curtis is fantastic as always, as is Judy Greer as her daughter, who the film clearly builds up to be the franchise's new heroine (I'm calling it: the next Halloween film will kill Laurie Strode off, passing the torch to her daughter).

1. Halloween (1978)

There are few things that are certain in the world of cinema: a film by Chris Nolan is always awesome, a character played by Sean Bean will always die, and the original Halloween is going to be #1 in every possible ranking of the franchise that anyone makes.

While surprisingly many of the franchise's offerings are good (I'd characterize places #2-#4 on this list as very good, #5-#7 as solid, #8-#9 as watchable and only #10&#11 as downright bad), the original is the only one I'd characterize as a masterpiece - hell, it's my second favorite horror film of all time. The way the film builds suspense and creates horror through brilliant directing touches by John Carpenter is absolutely mind-blowing - in a genre increasingly dominated by shock value and gore, Carpenter proves that a shot of a man standing behind some bushes can be a million times scarier than any jump scare or graphic imagery, when the scene is built well enough.

Jamie Lee Curtis plays Laurie Strode, the greatest horror movie 'final girl' of all time, with perfection. Donald Pleasance is fantastic as Dr. Sam Loomis. Michael Myers is not only one of the greatest slasher villains or even horror villains, but overall movie villains of all time. The soundtrack is one of my all-time favorites as well. If there's one film you watch on the day after tomorrow, I strongly recommend this one.

Thank you for reading - also, to my American readers; remember to go out and vote next Tuesday, if you haven't already voted by mail! Tune in next Thursday for either a list of the Top 10 Dystopian Movies or Top 10 Party Movies - I still haven't decided which one I'll post, but I'm sure I'll have the answer sometime next week. If I don't, I'll post a list of the Top 10 Ambiguous Movie Endings instead.

Ranking Every Episode Of BBC's Sherlock (2010-2017)

The game is afoot!

This week marks the 10-year anniversary of BBC airing the pilot episode of Sherlock (2010-2017). This fantastic series took the characters and ideas of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes novels and dropped them into modern-day London. In grand British tradition, each season consists of only a few episode and there are many-year gaps between seasons - and so, there are only 13 episodes in the series. Here is my ranking!

SPOILER ALERT: as this list is aimed at people who have watched the series, I will be spoiling specific plot points, so bear that in mind.

Also, I won't include the mini-episode Many Happy Returns, which was aired between seasons 2 and 3, as a 7-minute episode is hard to compare with the usual 90-minute ones. I will say that I greatly enjoy Many Happy Returns - it definitely shouldn't be brushed off, as it does a great job creating additional hype for season 3.

13. The Blink Banker (Season 1, Episode 2)

There isn't much wrong with this early episode - it's just a bit basic for this particular series. Sherlock is at its best when it goes full Moffat with its high-concept shenanigans and grand-scale plot twists, and The Blink Banker doesn't have much of that. There's a string of mysterious murders and a mildly interesting plot element of recurring graffiti tags, a fairly forgettable one-episode love interest for Watson (Martin Freeman), and a fairly entertaining final act where Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) faces off against a Chinese crime syndicate. It's perfectly fine, but there isn't as much rewatch value as in the other episodes, and there are no particularly mind-blowing or especially memorable moments.

12. The Six Thatchers (Season 4, Episode 1)

For much of its duration, The Six Thatchers is a remarkably below-average episode of Sherlock. The series doesn't really have bad episodes in my opinion, but the first two thirds of this season 4 premiere is as close as its gets - it's still good television, but disappointing when compared to the high bar that a majority of Sherlock has set.

However, the episode gains extra points and jumps ahead of The Blind Banker due to its surprisingly powerful ending. Mary Watson (Amanda Abbington) is killed off, which is quite a bold move for a series that very rarely kills off its major characters (while basing much of its stories on fake-out deaths). The emotional nail in the coffin is Watson's reaction to his wife's death, delivered by the always-great Martin Freeman.

11. A Study In Pink (Season 1, Episode 1)

The pilot episode is actually pretty awesome - it just got bested by nearly everything that came after it. A Study In Pink is many things at once: a dynamic introduction to the main characters, a modern-day adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes novel A Study In Scarlet (1887), an engaging 90-minute murder mystery, and a sneaky introduction to a larger storyline (in the very end, we find out that the main villain was working for someone called Moriarty). The pilot was definitely good enough to get me hooked on the series, and it was delightful to see that most of the series turned out to be even better.

10. The Hounds Of Baskerville (Season 2, Episode 2)

I must confess that I haven't read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes novels, so my opinion on this episode isn't based on how well it adapts the most famous Holmes book. What I can say is that The Hounds Of Baskerville, when viewed simply as an episode of this particular series, is pretty great. There's a cool horror element that sets it apart from other Sherlock episodes, as many sequences rely on creepily built tension. The setting of a quaint British village also sets the episode apart from the typical London milieu, and the final scene, where Moriarty (Andrew Scott) is released from jail, is a spine-chilling cliffhanger leading up to the season finale.

9. The Abominable Bride (2016 Christmas Special)

This Christmas special has an amazing premise: doing a 180-degree spin on the show's original premise, taking the setting back in time to the setting of the original novels: Victorian England. The concept is made to fit in with the show's storyline, as we see present-day Sherlock tripping on drugs and going into his mind palace to solve a mystery, thus imagining himself and his associates in 1890's London. The writers and actors really had a lot of fun with the idea, as the Victorian scenario leads to a vastly entertaining and amusing mystery that is obviously very different from what the show usually does. It's not as dramatic and genius as many other Sherlock episodes, but it sure is one of the most fun ones.

8. The Sign Of Three (Season 3, Episode 2)

Speaking of  fun, well, all of this silly and surprisingly well-made episode. Sherlock gives a best man's speech at Watson's wedding, and, well, that's the episode. Seriously. They pulled one and a half hours of best-man-speech-giving out of nowhere and made it into one of the most innovative episodes in a critically acclaimed series. Of course, there are plenty of flashbacks, but the speech is the central element from start to finish. And, as might be expected, the protagonist literally stumbles onto (and solves) a murder mystery during the delivery of his speech. The episode is full of humor, but also very well-written and suspenseful. I'll definitely be revisiting this one if I ever do a post about the best TV weddings.

7. The Great Game (Season 1, Episode 3)

What a nail-biting end to the first season! The episode immediately proves that it's not messing around, as the central mystery revolves around the nefarious and unseen mastermind Moriarty sending Sherlock messages through victims with bombs strapped on them. It feels like the two first episodes of season 1 were the show with its training wheels still on, and The Great Game is the point when it went into full speed and entered the league of truly great television.

The episode is especially memorable for the amazing way in which the main villain is introduced: the first time we see Moriarty is halfway through the episode, where he poses as Molly Hooper's (Louise Brealey) boyfriend, and first-time viewers have no idea that that guy is Moriarty. He comes forward as himself in the dramatic final scene, and his earlier appearance makes for very high rewatch value.

6. The Final Problem (Season 4, Episode 3)

The Final Problem is the de facto series finale, as Sherlock hasn't officially been cancelled or ended and the writers and castmembers have left the option of another season open, yet as of now, there are no more seasons in the making. If they end up making more Sherlock, the ending of this episode makes it very possible as it doesn't feel too nail-in-the-coffin final. But if they never end up making more, The Final Problem serves as a great ending for the series.

The stakes have never been higher, as mega-villain Eurus Holmes (Sian Brooke) traps Sherlock, Watson and Mycroft (Mark Gatiss) in a fortress filled with psychological mind games. The episode is emotionally distressing, as all of the main characters must make difficult decisions while being in fatal danger. The flashbacks to Sherlock's past explain a lot about the character in a heartbreaking manner. The show's most iconic villain Moriarty even got a final appearance in a flashback, which was very fitting for the episode. As dark as most of the episode is, it does thankfully end on a surprisingly light note, making for an emotional rollercoaster just as a (possible) series finale should.

5. The Lying Detective (Season 4, Episode 2)

As awesome as The Final Problem was, the episode preceding it was the true gem of season four. Much like the previously mentioned episode, a majority of The Lying Detective is rather dark for this series - Sherlock faces off against one of his most powerful enemies, Culverton Smith (Toby Jones), and goes down a deep rabbit hole of drugs and delusion when his theories aren't believed. The dark atmosphere of the episode is a perfect touch, because when the light-hearted banter and cute humor of the series make a return at the end after Smith has been defeated, it feels like a huge payoff.

And then there's the final scene. The series creates its best-built and most mind-blowing plot twist - actually one of my favorite plot twists from any television series. As Watson talks with his therapist, she slowly and dramatically reveals that she has infiltrated Watson's life and manipulated him (she had appeared multiple times throughout season 4 in various disguises without the viewers noticing), and that she is actually Eurus Holmes, the secret sibling of Sherlock and Mycroft. The ending is genius, making things very exciting for the finale.

4. A Scandal In Belgravia (Season 2, Episode 1)

Who would've expected this quirky mystery series to provide one of the most memorable love stories in television? Certainly not me. But this episode did just that, with the unconventional yet very real connection between Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler (Lara Pulver). Their chemistry is just unreal, and their tragic and dramatic story unfolds to the backdrop of fast-paced and well-written detective fiction. The episode is so off-the-charts with its production values, that it feels like a full-scale movie that should be viewed from the big screen. It provides everything one might expect from a Sherlock episode, but also a lot more with its brilliant emotional twist. A truly mesmerizing story.

3. His Last Vow (Season 3, Episode 3)

Season three (or 'series three', as our British friends would say) ends with a mega-explosive roller coaster of thrills and twists at a breakneck speed. We get a fantastic villain in Charles Magnussen (Lars Mikkelsen), the insane plot twist that Mary Watson is a double agent, some of the show's darkest moments concerning Sherlock's sociopathic tendencies and Watson's own psychological issues, yet also some great laughs and moments of fun, all leading to a massively dramatic showdown in the end. Finally, when it's all said and done, the viewer can rest at ease.

...That is, until the very final scene, where a video message of the very much dead James Moriarty saying "Did you miss me?" is broadcast all over the UK. This was a truly head-scratching cliffhanger that had me on the edge of my seat for three years before season 4 finally came out.

2. The Empty Hearse (Season 3, Episode 1)

Sherlock is a very stylized show, where the absolutely unique atmosphere and directing style always make it stand out from today's crowd of great television. And nowhere is that style quite as prominent as in the season 3 premiere - not only the 2nd best Sherlock episode, but very much the most Sherlock episode of the series. The show's signature humor, dialogue and atmosphere are on overdrive in this immensely eventful episode that feels like a 90-minute reel of everything that makes the show great. Filled with well-written mysteries, clever dialogue and wonderful chemistry between Cumberbatch and Freeman, The Empty Hearse is a truly witty and entertaining thrill ride.

My favorite element of the episode has to be the manner in which Sherlock's character is brought back. After his fake-out death at the end of season 2, the show's two-year hiatus had been filled with impatient fans speculating just how he managed to fake his death and how he will be brought back. This episode brilliantly plays with the expectations of fans by showing possible ways of how the rooftop sequence went down throughout the episode, without revealing which (if any) is the real one. The character's return, shown as a series of reunions with familiar characters throughout the episode, is also done in a perfect manner, making for quite the epic comeback.

1. The Reichenbach Fall (Season 2, Episode 3)

The Reichenbach Fall is, simply put, perfect. Everything great about the series is at its best in this magnificent season finale. While there are many elements contributing to the episode's success, the key one is how incredibly dramatic it is. I love dramatic stories, especially in cases like this where the viewer is invested in the characters of a TV series and suddenly the dramatic stakes are raised to the maximum, making the viewer worry and care about said characters. This episode is a masterclass in dramatic tension, starting from the very first scene - in a flash-forward, Watson tells his psychiatrist that Sherlock Holmes is dead. From that dead-serious opening, it is clear that this is no ordinary episode.

The stakes rise throughout the episode, as Moriarty slowly turns everyone around Sherlock against him, and the situation starts to look more and more hopeless. The scene where Sherlock finds Moriarty's pre-recorded video message about "the fall of Sir Boasts-A-Lot" is phenomenal, as is the climactic rooftop sequence. David Arnold & Michael Price's soundtrack helps make the episode even more emotional and drastic, making for an all-in-all draining experience - until that final scene.

Sure, cold logic would've dictated all along that Sherlock isn't really dead, but the episode is so well-made that a first-time viewer doesn't really have the time to process all of that upon arriving at the final scene. As Watson stands at Sherlock's grave, the series creates one of the most smile-worthy moments in any television series or movie, as the camera slowly pans to show Sherlock standing (very much alive) in the distance, while a more majestic arrangement of the show's main theme rocks the soundtrack. Astonishing.

Thank you for reading! Be sure to tune in next week, for a Halloween-themed ranking of the movies in the Halloween franchise!

Ranking Every Movie by Ari Aster, Jordan Peele or Robert Eggers

This seems like a strange idea for a list, right? Let me explain. 

I have noticed a pattern of similarity in the works of horror directors Ari Aster, Jordan Peele and Robert Eggers. For starters, each of the three filmmakers has directed exactly two feature films so far. With each one, the first film was somewhat of a massive cult hit, and the second one was larger in scale for a more mainstream audience. With each case, there is fierce debate among fans on which is better of the two films. Each of the three directors has such a unique style of creating horror that critics have praised them for "reinventing the genre". And, with all three, fans are dying to see what their third film will be.

I just had to do something with this information once I realized these similarities - and what better time to write about horror than October, with Halloween just a few weeks away (I'll be posting an even more Halloween-appropriate text on the actual Halloween week). So, here is my ranking of the six films that these vastly promising horror directors have made so far!

6. Hereditary (Ari Aster, 2018)

All of the six films on this list are very impressive - Hereditary just didn't sit as well with my subjective tastes as the rest. But while it wasn't the kind of film that I found myself invested in, I do recognize how well-built the horror in it was, and therefore it does deserve praise. In his debut film, Ari Aster reinvents the "haunted house" trope, as the central family experiences a seriously disturbing chain of supernatural occurrences in their house. The film's strongest suit is the unique quality of the way Aster builds horror, as the film really feels like no other.

Still, there simply wasn't much else to it in my opinion than the (again, extremely praiseworthy) way the film broke new ground within the genre style-wise. The story wasn't all that interesting, and as a whole the film isn't as memorable as the other five on this list. Still, a very impressive debut - I want to stress the fact that all of the films from these directors are among the best horror film of the 2010's, so being on last place definitely doesn't mean that I didn't like this film.

5. The VVitch: A New England Folktale (Robert Eggers, 2015)

Robert Eggers's debut feature film sure is an unusual one, as one may guess from the stylized title. The Vvitch (sometimes boringly marketed as "The Witch" despite the original title being infinitely cooler) follows a religious New England family in the 1630's, as the farm they live on becomes subject to strange and creepy occurrences.

The film gains a lot from its period-piece setting, as well as the religious themes. It is fascinating and unsettling to follow how the members of the family turn against each other, completely sure that one of them is being possessed by a witch and that they are doing this to the rest of their family. Definitely not a fun film to watch, but a very intriguing and atmospheric one.

4. Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Imagine if the Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man (2006) retained its basic plot concept and sequence of events, but every possible aspect of filmmaking was done a thousand times better. That's Midsommar. We follow a fleshed-out protagonist (Florence Pugh) as she stumbles upon a strange community, up to the point that their creepy behavior escalates and she realizes that she's in the midst of a violent cult. Then, there's a whole lot of fire-related rituals.

The rural Swedish setting is very fascinating, and as a Scandinavian I found it interesting to see a film where ancient Midsummer traditions are turned into creepy cult rituals. I always love it when a film goes deep into the lore of some celebration with a horror twist - other great examples are the Finnish Christmas film Rare Exports (2010) using Finland's original Santa Claus (a monster-like figure in pagan folklore) as an unlikely villain, as well as some of the Halloween (1978) sequels going deep into the roots of the Celtic Samhain-tradition that Halloween was built on. The ritualistic cult horror works well in this film, and Ari Aster does a seriously impressive job building horror sequences that happen almost exclusively in bright daylight (just think about how much the horror genre relies on darkness and shadows in most cases).

3. Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Out of the three directors on this list, Peele is the only one whose second film is lower on my list than his first - but it's a close call, as both of his movies are quite fantastic. My minor problem with Us is that the blend of comedy and horror doesn't work quite as well as it did in his debut film (more on that later), as I felt that some of the comedic dialogue felt out of touch with the film's creepier side, making the stakes seem a bit lower. How come the film still is above hugely respected future-classics like Midsommar and The Vvitch, you ask? Well, everything else in this film is insanely fantastic.

The societal criticism is expertly done, as you can expect from Jordan Peele. The racial divide and modern classism of the United States are criticized in a brilliantly subtle manner that never feels too on-the-nose yet really gets to you in a powerful fashion. The acting performances are amazing, as all main actors play two different characters due to the story concept of everyone having a doppelgänger from a different kind of existence. Lupita Nyong'o especially kills it as the main heroine, as well as her "evil doppelgänger". The film also gains extra points for its phenomenal twist ending.

2. Get Out (Jordan Peele, 2017)

Strangely enough, Get Out is the only film on this list that can be found from my top 10 favorite horror movies of all time - obviously, the #1 movie from today's list would've also made it, but I excluded psychological horror from said list because the comparison was too hard to make. But yes, Get Out is one of the genre's best offerings. What really gets me is the absolutely seamless blend of sharp societal criticism, actually funny humor, and unique horror.

Those three elements are a tough sell to combine: if nearly any director tried to, at least one of them would fall flat (I can easily imagine a film with the premise of Get Out where either the themes and meanings come across as over-simplified and preachy, the comedy side doesn't work, or the horror just isn't scary). But Jordan Peele managed to make the film as it was meant to be: the themes of race and oppression are dealt with in a brilliantly subtle and layered yet powerful way, the humor brings vast levels of entertainment and fun into the film, and the horror sequences are very creepy. No wonder that this film won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay - what a feat for a horror film.

1. The Lighthouse (Robert Eggers, 2019)

The Lighthouse is an astonishing psychological thriller. Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson deliver absolutely mesmerizing performances as two lighthouse keepers on a remote island, as the film follows their descent into insanity due to the secluded nature of their work. As their minds fall further and further into chaos, they start to envision strange creatures while getting lost on the passage of time. Robert Eggers's decision to shoot the film in black-and-white (not to mention the 1.19:1 aspect ratio, creating a truly old-time feel) is only the tip of the iceberg on how well-directed the film is, as the director's greatest strength is his use of supernatural imagery such as mermaids and other creatures as symbols for how crazy the main characters are going.

The Lighthouse is a remarkable fantasy film. Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson deliver absolutely spectacular performances as two lighthouse keepers on a remote island, where things seem normal (apart from the director's brilliant style choices) until the area starts to reveal its true colors. While we never learn quite what is the root of the island's supernatural qualities, there is definitely something very off-world about the place: time doesn't pass in a normal manner, strange creatures and other elements of sea-related lore appear, and it all has something to do with the light in the titular lighthouse. As the main characters realize just how haunted the rock of theirs is, they find themselves struggling against powers greater than themselves in this wonderful fantasy-horror masterpiece.

Which one is true? No one will ever know, and I absolutely love that fact. Interpretational cinema is a great thing, and Robert Eggers really nails it with this ambiguous piece of art.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for my ranking of the episodes of BBC's Sherlock (2010-2017)!

Ranking Stanley Kubrick's Movies

Hello, reader!

Stanley Kubrick's classic sword-and-sandal film Spartacus (1960) turned a whopping 60 years old this week. To celebrate, I will share my ranking of (almost) all feature films directed by Kubrick. I say 'almost', as I simply haven't gotten my hands on Fear And Desire (1953), his very first movie that barely makes the cut for feature length qualification with its 62-minute runtime. I have, however, seen all 12 films that he made after that underground debut, and here is my ranking:

12. Killer's Kiss (1955)

Kubrick's debut feature film (when not counting Fear And Desire) is not a bad film, but it's quite bland, and therefore bad by Kubrick standards. But you can't really blame the director: Kubrick is definitely at his best when he has a large budget backing him, as his best films are riddled with massive set design and an overall grandiose production scale. There's only so much he can do when given 67-minute runtime, for a film largely financed by his family. It's a fine debut, but there's no real "wow factor".

The story in Killer's Kiss is about a washed-up boxer (Jamie Smith), who tries to save a dancer (Irene Kane) from her crooked employer (Frank Silvera). The film-noir style works well enough, and Kubrick's trademark perfectionism behind the camera is apparent already at this early stage of the career. The film is well-shot and an overall solid sign of things to come, but it's a long way from the greatness of Kubrick's later projects.

11. Lolita (1962)

This highly controversial adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov's novel treads on some thin ice, as any movie about pedophilia is bound to do. While I do understand the interpretation that some people have of this film as inadvertently glorifying or humanizing the subject, I myself see it as a merely realistic and explanatory look at a serious issue. The protagonist, Professor Humbert (James Mason) finds himself attracted to fourteen-year-old Lolita (Sue Lyon), and the film follows his struggles as he tries to repress said feelings and deal with them.

Lolita definitely isn't for everyone, but for a viewer like myself, it does offer some very interesting psychology mixed in with the expert directing that one may expect from a Kubrick film. It is an uncomfortable film to watch, which absolutely was Kubrick's intention, so I'd call the film a success despite it being one of the director's overall weaker offerings.

10. Barry Lyndon (1975)

Barry Lyndon is one of the most beautifully shot films I have ever seen. The only reason that it isn't higher here is that the story isn't as captivating as in most Kubrick films (and the over-3-hour runtime is a bit overkill in this instance), and a beautiful visual outlook isn't enough to make a film great if the story isn't interesting (that is the same problem that I have with some of Wes Anderson's films). However, when the visual artistry is as phenomenal as it is in Barry Lyndon, it does garner some serious points in my book.

Barry Lyndon is one of those films where more or less every shot could be framed and put on one's wall as a magnificent photograph. Kubrick's perfectionist tendencies are on a whole new level, as are the skills of cinematographer John Alcott, as everything from the contrasts in color and symmetrical viewpoints to amazing background sceneries and powerful pieces of imagery are striking throughout the film. While it isn't among my favorite Kubrick movies, it is among his most beautiful and artistic for sure.

9. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Shot and finished just before Kubrick's death and released posthumously, Eyes Wide Shut was a weird but oddly appropriate way for the iconic director's ever-changing filmography to go out. It is just as ambitious, artistic and experimental as any of his films, but in a strikingly sexual manner. The plot is basically about a doctor (Tom Cruise) who finds out his wife (Nicole Kidman) has been cheating on her, and who then embarks on a night-long quest of moral and sexual discovery.

A big chunk of the film (and its most famous sequence) takes place in an orgy, and it is a thing to behold. I'm still not sure what to make of that part of the film, as seeing such erotic and gratuitous imagery shot in such an artistic and perfectionist way makes for a truly strange experience. As odd as the mixture of styles in that sequence is, it definitely succeeds in making this film unique even among Kubrick's own work, and the overall creepy atmosphere in the latter half of the film is brilliantly accomplished throughout various directorial choices. It is too bad that Kubrick passed away before the film's release and subsequent controversies it sparked, as it would've been great to hear his cryptic take on it all.

Also, I feel like I should make a joke about this being a movie where Tom Cruise stumbles upon a cult with strange lore and rituals...Kubrick truly was ahead of his time.

8. A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Speaking of graphic material, here's one of the most violent films ever made, still holding its own after nearly 50 years. Paving the way for Quentin Tarantino, A Clockwork Orange proved that ultra-violent cinema doesn't have to be b-class gore with no substance, but rather elements of violence can help make a certain type of great film even greater. I'm guessing quite a few critics weren't too excited to give Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Writing and Best Directing to such an extreme film, but what choice did they have when the movie is simply so good?

Wendy Carlos's zany soundtrack, Malcolm McDowell's sledgehammer performance, Kubrick's screenplay based on Anthony Burgess's novel, John Alcott's cinematography and John Barry's lavish set design make for one of the most unique movie milieus of all time. The film takes a deep psychological look at the human tendencies for violence and crime, making the film feel very relevant despite its futuristic setting. In addition to the film's composed score, the frequent use of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 makes for a pitch-perfect style choice - after seeing this film, you won't be able to hear that piece without getting some frightening images in your head.

7. The Killing (1956)

One of the more down-to-earth Kubrick films, the director's sophomore production is quite a straight-forward heist movie. If you're wondering why it's ahead of classics like A Clockwork Orange and Barry Lyndon, the answer is that it's more or less the perfect heist movie, quite possibly outdone only by Ocean's Eleven (2001). Only 84 minutes long and fast in its pace, The Killing follows a crook (Sterling Hayden) who assembles a crew to rob a race-track event. The build-up is cool enough, but the actual robbery is where things get really interesting.

Halfway through the film, Kubrick takes a Rashomon (1950) -style approach, as we see the whole heist go down from start to finish several times, from different points of view. This is an absolutely fascinating and thrilling way to follow the event, after which there is just time enough for an awesome final sequence. Believe me, when there are only 20 seconds left before the end credits sequence, you still have no idea how the plot will be resolved, as Kubrick truly keeps the viewer at the edge of their seat until the last possible moment. The man truly was a master of suspense.

6. Spartacus (1960)

Spartacus is the most likely Kubrick film to be the favorite of someone who generally doesn't like Kubrick, just as it is reviled by many of Kubrick's fans (not this guy though). The reason for this phenomenon is that Spartacus is his most "Hollywood" film, as the studio had quite a tight grip on their vision and didn't let Kubrick go full experimental-interpretational-art-project on this one. While I hugely appreciate the director's experimental side, this film is placed so high on my list because he also does a great job with a conventional Hollywood film - in my book, Spartacus beats Ben-Hur (1959), Gladiator (2000) and others in the arena (pun intended) of the greatest sword-and-sandal movies ever made.

Spartacus is absolutely epic. The grandiose set design, the over-3-hour runtime (much more justified here than with Barry Lyndon) and the theme of rebellion against injustice make for a large-scale movie that you won't soon forget. Filled with amazing performances by Kirk Douglas, Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis and others, this true story about a famous slave uprising is masterfully captured by Kubrick. The iconic "I am Spartacus" scene is emotionally powerful, even after one has seen it parodied in every comedy series ever made.

5. Full Metal Jacket (1987)

This gripping Vietnam War movie is split into two very different but equally brutal parts. The first half follows a group of marines during their intense boot camp, which includes R. Lee Ermey's iconic performance as the inhumanely strict drill sergeant Hartman, as well as an unsettling performance by Vincent D'Onofrio as a private whose suffering leads to a breaking point that veers on psychological horror in a frighteningly real-feeling way.

The second half sees the main characters actually go to Vietnam, which strangely enough isn't as intense as their training period, but still a very draining thing to watch. Kubrick's vision was to capture the dehumanizing effect that war has on people, and he sure nailed it. The film's most central character is Pvt. Joker (Matthew Modine), as we see the events unfold largely from his perspective, and this approach tells the story in a grim and thought-provoking fashion.

4. Paths Of Glory (1957)

The slightly better out of Kubrick's two war films, this World War I movie is truly astonishing. While nearly all great war films are 'anti-war' to some degree, as romanticizing and glorifying war doesn't sit well with a lot of people, no other film comes close to Paths Of Glory in just how anti-war you can be - something a pacifist such as myself can very much appreciate.

Paths Of Glory is a depressing film to watch. Full Metal Jacket is gripping in its own right, but this film is on whole different level. It will make you question the very concepts of war, and realize just how screwed up it can be. The film was controversial for its anti-military themes and portrayal of injustice within military ranks, but it has later gained a legacy of supposedly being very realistic - some people just didn't want to accept the hard truths that it had to tell. Paths Of Glory is one of the most powerful movies I've seen, and its message remains very important to this day.

3. The Shining (1980)

It really says something about Kubrick's filmography that this is literally my favorite horror movie of all time, yet only my third-favorite movie from the director. The Shining creates horror in a unique and masterful way, as fans will know: Kubrick moved, added and removed objects in the background between camera shots. This ingeniously creates a form of unconscious horror, where the viewer doesn't notice the intentional continuity errors, but it messes with their mind - something about the Overlook Hotel just feels very wrong and unsettling.

Jack Nicholson also contributes one of the greatest acting performances I've ever seen, as his character Jack Torrance's descent into madness comes to life with perfection. The camerawork and set design are the diamond quality that one can expect from Kubrick, and the film is filled with iconic imagery and expertly built scenes - the corn maze transition, the blood flowing out of the elevator, and of course that final shot that really sticks with you.

2. Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb (1964)

Stanley Kubrick had a most peculiar sense of humor - most of his films are more or less devoid of comedy, while some use a very specific kind of dry humor as a subtle extra spice. But in Dr. Strangelove, the only full-on comedy movie he ever made, his comedic senses are absolutely unleashed, and it is a thing of wonder. The film is a sharp yet silly political satire that is very relevant to this day.

Peter Sellers kills it in his triple role as three very different characters - the variety of his acting and the expert work of the film's costume department is so flawless, that I legitimately didn't realize it was the same actor until I saw the end credits. Between his increasingly manic acting performance and the overall theme of boldly criticizing the cold war through a fictional tale that feels absurdly over-the-top yet frighteningly realistic and possible all at the same time, this film is a straight-up masterpiece and possibly my favorite comedy movie of all time.

Also, "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!" is the greatest line in cinematic history and I will stand by that opinion.

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I've been dreading the day that I discuss this film (one of the three only films that I've ever given a full 10/10 rating to) in my blog, as its greatness simply can't be put to words. Oh well, I'll try my best.

Kubrick's perfectionist directing is at its best in this impeccably crafted piece of art, where many of the shots are iconic and worth framing on one's wall (even more so than with Barry Lyndon). The magnificent set design in the film's various sci-fi locations, coupled with the creative use of classical music (Richard Strauss's Also Sprach Zarathustra in the opening sequence is the most majestic use of music in a film that I can think of) makes for a unique and thoroughly fascinating atmosphere.

The way the actual story is told is brilliant in its unconventional manner. The first 25 minutes contain no dialogue, and mainly follow a group of apes. From there, I don't want to spoil the direction the story takes, but let's just say that the story is divided into very separate-seeming segments that take place in a wide range of time. However, there are clear thematic similarities between these acts, and there are multiple ways one can interpret the meaning of why the story consists of specifically those events. Most interpretations touch on some truly larger-than-life themes, speaking of which...

That final half and hour. Again, I won't spoil the specifics, but just...it's simply beyond anything else I've seen. The film certainly isn't for everyone, but for someone with my specific tastes, the final act of 2001 is the absolute best that a movie can be. It goes beyond all conventions of storytelling to deliver a visually and narratively mind-bending spectacle unlike any other. The sheer amount of mystery, art and imagination that is mixed into that ending segment is something that will always stay with me. Thank you, Stanley Kubrick, for proving with this film that there are no limits and boundaries to one's creativity and vision.

Thank you for reading! Next week's blog has an odd concept, the reasoning for which I'll explain in the text: I'll be ranking all six films that have been directed by either Ari Aster, Jordan Peele or Robert Eggers. Fans of horror cinema, see you then!