Black History Month: My Top 10 Favorite Black Filmmakers

Greetings, reader!

It's February, and therefore Black History Month. I've already covered the most obvious Top 10 lists relating to the month's themes - if you're interesting in reading these posts from previous years, click on the titles below:

Top 10 Movies to Watch During Black History Month

Top 10 TV Episodes to Watch During Black History Month

Top 10 Movies by Black Directors

This time, I'm celebrating the works of African-American artists by ranking my top 10 favorite Black filmmakers! Here are my honorable mentions: Barry Jenkins, Lee Daniels, Stanley Nelson.

10. Jeymes Samuel

Relative newcomer Jeymes Samuel only has one feature film under his belt thus far, but it's a rock-solid one: The Harder They Fall, the all-Black western that made it into my top 10 favorite films of 2021. This debut immediately sold me on Samuel's directorial talents, with his style being delightfully Tarantino-influenced yet still with a voice of its own.

Samuel has also directed the music video for Jay-Z's Legacy, which isn't as much an ordinary music video as it is a gripping 10-minute short film. The director is currently working on his second feature film Pins and Needles. Little is known of this upcoming project, but as it's described as a 'Biblical comedy' and the the dynamite cast includes big names like James McAvoy, Benedict Cumberbatch and the world's most underrated actor LaKeith Stanfield, I'm extremely hyped up for the outcome, and generally invested in following the direction of Jeymes Samuel's promising filmmaking career.

9. Reginald Hudlin

As most filmmakers tend to do, Reginald Hudlin dabbled in activities like production teams and the directing of television episodes et cetera, before embracing the director's chair for feature films. Hudlin's dabbling is much more impressive than that of the average director, however: having directed quality episodes of sitcoms like The Office, Modern Family and New Girl, as well as being one of the major producers for Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained (which even earned Hudlin a spot in the film's Best Picture Oscar nomination), his filmmaking CV is to be taken seriously.

This is especially the case thanks to Marshall (2017), his best-known feature film to date: starring the late great Chadwick Boseman, the film tells the story of Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American Supreme Court Justice. Much of the film's subdued yet inspiring atmosphere is thanks to Hudlin's steady directing, truly making him a name to look out for in the world of cinema. He's currently working on multiple upcoming films, such as World War II flick Black Cotton Star and jazz music voodoo fantasy flick (yes, you read that correctly) Shadowman.

8. Donald Glover

In addition of being one of my top 3 favorite rappers, top 5 favorite stand-up comedians, top 10 favorite movie/TV writers and probably top 10 favorite current actors, the insane multi-talent Donald Glover (also known by stage name Childish Gambino) is also quite the director, truly raising the question "is there anything this dude can't do?".

Mind you, Glover's directorial filmography is quite limited thus far - he has exactly one short film, one music video and 9 episodes of Atlanta (2016-2022) under his belt. But that is enough to impress me - the short film Chicken and Futility (2014) is awesome, the music video to Feels Like Summer is an artistic masterpiece, and the episodes he directed for his series Atlanta are some of the most barrier-breaking television I've seen. I mean, the episode B.A.N. (Season 1 episode 7) is presented as a complete episode of a fictional talk show on a fictional channel, down to there being commercial breaks as a part of the 'broadcast', as Glover went out of his way to direct several fake commercials that tie in to the episode's themes.

One of these days, he's going to make a feature film, and I'm betting it'll be one banger of a movie.

7. Steve McQueen

No, not that Steve McQueen. Amusingly having the exact same name as the 1960's action star, the Black McQueen may have faced an uphill battle of (literally) making a name for himself in the beginning of his career. By now I think it's safe to say that he has become quite the icon in his own right - after all, his best-known film 12 Years a Slave (2013) became the first film written, directed and produced by an African-American to win the Academy Award for Best Picture.

That is quite the legacy to have, and a deserved one at that - 12 Years a Slave is one hell of a film. Its ambition, gripping nature and empowering themes make it one of the more deserving Best Picture winners of the 2010's, and a historic landmark for Black cinema in more ways than one - not only did it find unprecedented critical acclaim for a film by African-American filmmakers, but it also shed a completely authentic and true-to-facts light on the depth of American slavery in a way that no mainstream film had done before (by 2013, one could say that it was about damn time that American cinema showed what that era was really like, as opposed to the washed-down version we'd been spoonfed until then).

6. John Singleton

The late John Singleton was, among other things, the first African-American to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Director. This was for his magnificent debut film Boyz n the Hood (1991), which is a haunting, gripping cornerstone of African-American cinema. My own life experiences are about as far from 'the hood' as can be, so I can't personally speak to the film's authenticity - I have, however, read many reviews by people with more authentic experience, claiming that this movie is a more accurate representation of that world than any other. I'll take their word for it.

While Boyz n the Hood alone earns Singleton a spot among the greats, I'll also give a shout-out to his work directing The Fast and the Furious sequel 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003). While it's one of the overall lesser offerings of the franchise, the actual directing is surprisingly decent amidst Michael Brandt & Derek Haas' disjointed writing and the absence of beloved characters. With 2 Fast 2 Furious, Singleton proved that he can coordinate the hell out of a big-budget action sequence, in addition to his better-known skill of directing gritty, down-to-earth human drama.

5. Ava DuVernay

The best-known work by Ava DuVernay's career so far is undoubtedly 2014's Selma, which details key moments from the Civil Rights movement in the 60's, starring David Oyelowo as Dr. King himself. The film is especially praiseworthy for how true it stays to facts - I've seen studies comparing the rate of real events, semi-real events and made-up events in mainstream biopics from the last decade, and Selma has blown pretty much all of its competitors out of the park in terms of how much of the story, individual scenes and dialogue is based on reality.

But for me personally, Selma isn't even DuVernay's best work - she outdid herself with 2016's 13th, which is currently sitting at the #2 spot on my list of all-time favorite documentaries. Detailing the history, facts and current situation of systemic racism in the U.S., 13th is as educational and eye-opening as it is disturbing and heartbreaking, not to mention how well-researched and truthful it all is. DuVernay clearly has an eye for powerful cinema on the subjects of race, history and civil rights, which makes me all the more amped up for her upcoming release Caste, described as a historical drama about the unspoken systems of inequality in the United States.

4. Ryan Coogler

In terms of relevant and influential African-American filmmakers today - if Ava DuVernay is the symbolic mother-figure warning and teaching you about serious and important issues, then Ryan Coogler is the symbolic cool big brother -figure, taking you on neat adventures and generally providing a good time. First of all, the young and imaginative Coogler is to be thanked for Creed, the fantastic legacy sequel to the Rocky movies, that stars the phenomenal Michael B. Jordan as Apollo Creed's son Adonis, while earning Sylvester Stallone an Oscar nomination as the old, washed-up Rocky Balboa. Ryan Coogler's directing knocks it out of the park, both in the intense boxing sequences and in the drama outside of the ring, making for a film arguably even better than the original Rocky.

But, even more importantly, Ryan Coogler is the man behind Black Panther. It's not every day that an MCU superhero flick wins three Academy Awards (Costume Design, Production Design, Original Score) and is nominated for several more (including Best Picture), but in this case, it was thoroughly deserved. Coogler does a remarkable job bringing the vibrant world of Wakanda to life, while bringing out the very best in both the villain (Coogler's go-to actor Michael B. Jordan playing the Shakespearean role of Erik Killmonger) and the hero (the late great Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa). Wakanda forever!

3. F. Gary Gray

This master of the 90's burst onto the scene with music videos, having directed such projects for Dr. Dre, Coolio, and most famously, Ice Cube with the iconic It Was a Good Day (1993). Gray's feature film debut was none other than 1995's Friday, an absolute staple of the stoner comedy genre and Black cinema, with beyond-memorable lead performances by Ice Cube and Chris Tucker. In later years, he has branched out with projects such as The Fate of the Furious (2017), where his handling of big-budget action set-pieces (such as the climactic arctic submarine sequence) is quite something.

However, the #1 reason for F. Gary Gray's high ranking on my list is his 2015 masterpiece Straight Outta Compton. When I ranked my all-time favorite music biopics last year, this raw and gripping N.W.A. biopic made it all the way to first place, ahead of the likes of Amadeus (1984) and Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) et cetera. Gray's combination of rap music video experience and big-budget Hollywood blockbuster experience made him the perfect director for this film, that was as large in scale as it was gritty and raw.

2. Jordan Peele

Also known as the Spike Lee of horror, Jordan Peele is one of the most stylistically unique filmmakers out there. His love for the horror genre, his strong stance on civil rights and influencing society through art, and his comedy background from projects such as Key & Peele (2012-2015) (he also voices the Ghost of Duke Ellington on Big Mouth (2017), which may be my favorite fact in the world), make for an amazing combination. Peele has directed three feature films so far, and they've all combined creepy horror, powerful and nuanced social themes and peculiar humor, with a balance that sounds impossible on paper but somehow works.

It's hard to pick a favorite from Peele's impressive filmography - his debut picture Get Out won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay (a damn impressive stunt for a horror film), his sophomore production Us went even further down the artistic rabbit hole with its cryptic storytelling and wild premise, and his newest film Nope was perhaps 2022's most Oscar-worthy film if it wasn't for the Academy critics being so full of themselves that they snubbed the masterful film that criticized Hollywood in a poignant manner. All three films are great in their own right, and I look forward to Peele's next project with interest.

1. Spike Lee

If Jordan Peele is the Spike Lee of horror, then this man is the Spike Lee of cinema. The Spike has been a powerful voice for civil rights and Black activism through his films for several decades, and the powerful social themes of his works is matched by his unique and stylistic filmmaking M.O. - when you're watching a Spike Lee joint, you know you're watching a Spike Lee joint, as no one else makes films quite like these.

Lee's filmography ranges from eye-opening historical biopics like Malcolm X (1992) and BlacKKKlansman (2018), all the way through the sort of hyper-focused comedy-dramas juxtaposing several social themes and political statements into the same framework -staples he's known for like Crooklyn (1994) and Da 5 Bloods (2020), all the way to gritty dramas outside of his archetype proving that he can do mainstream cinema just as well as not-so-mainstream cinema, like 25th Hour (2002) and Inside Man (2006).

While the overall tapestry of his many, many great films is the biggest reason for Lee being #1 on my list, I have to single out one particular masterpiece - 1989's Do the Right Thing. One of the greatest films ever made, Lee's third feature film combines comedy with drama in an expert manner while having a lot to say about our society with its still-relevant message. Navigating conversational landmines and difficult cultural topics in an unparalleled fashion, Do the Right Thing is one for the ages and the crowning achievement of a magnificent career.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I shift from Black filmmakers to the whitest show in the world, for a list requested by my Instagram followers - the Top 10 episodes of beloved sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (1994-2004).

Presidents' Day: Top 5 Portrayals of real U.S. Presidents (and top 5 fictional U.S. Presidents) from movies & TV

My fellow Americans,

Next Monday is President's Day, the national observance celebrating the proud and untarnished office of President of the United States.

Oh, right, it's not 2015 anymore. Let me rephrase my opening.

Next Monday is President's Day, the national observance celebrating the fantastic joke of an office (also doubling as a popular activity for senior citizens to keep their minds active) that is the U.S. Presidency.

To celebrate, I've compiled two lists: the top 5 portrayals of real-life U.S. Presidents in cinema and television, as well as the top 5 performances as fictional U.S. Presidents in movies and TV. I hope you enjoy!

#5 in performances as real Presidents: John Cusak as Richard Nixon in The Butler (2013)

"I don't want to say anything negative about that Kennedy boy, I'm sure he's a real nice fellow. But do you really want that spoiled rich son-of-a-bitch fuck to be your next President?"

The intriguing premise of Lee Daniels' The Butler has us follow an African-American butler who serves in the White House across multiple decades, and eight presidencies. Any number of performances from this film could've made it onto today's list - Robin Williams channels the stature of Eisenhower, James Marsden finds the proper inspiration and charm for the role of Kennedy, Liev Schreiber is as funny as he is accurate in the role of Lyndon Johnson, and oddness of the casting decision aside, Alan Rickman does a decent Ronald Reagan.

But the one I went with is John Cusak as the crook himself - Richard M. Nixon (the 'M' stands for Misdemeanors). We first meet him when he is serving as Eisenhower's Vice President, and immediately there's an ominous vibe to him. I do respect Cusak for keeping the role humane, though: Nixon is often portrayed in movies and TV as an overblown caricature, and while I do enjoy these parodies as a massive Nixon hater, I also appreciate this film's more realistic take on the admittedly complicated man that ol' Dick was.

#5 in performances as fictional Presidents: Kevin Kline as President William Harrison Mitchell (and as Dave) in Dave (1993)

"You are a very handsome man"

"Thank you, Mr. President"

Sure, Kevin Kline spends quite little time actually playing fictional President Bill Mitchell in this delightful "watch it on a Sunday night or an airplane" type of film, and most of the time playing regular citizen and Presidential lookalike Dave Kovic. But, the film's plot centers on Dave having to pretend to be the President for the time being after the real POTUS had a stroke while having sex with an aide (I think that the film's release in the first years of the Clinton Presidency is top-tier comedic timing). So one could argue that Kevin Kline spends most of the film playing the part of a guy who is playing the part of the U.S. President.

Kline does a fine job with his double role, dealing with the film's mistaken identity -hijinks with humor and heart.

#4 in real Presidents: Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump in Saturday Night Live (1975-Present)

"Great to see a young Trump supporter!"

"Oh, thank you, thank you Mr. President!"

"And where are you from, son - New Mexico?"

"ISIS! Yeah, I was a prisoner in Syria until last week when you freed me, so uh, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing jobs back. To ISIS. And I promise that I will make ISIS great again! Woo!"

"Terrific, what a great guy, ISIS is back in a big, big way folks, and we love that, don't we?"

One day, we'll get a proper movie adaptation of the Trump era. It will either be a thrilling Aaron Sorkin drama going deep into the inner workings of the Trump administration, or a psychedelic and disturbing David Lynch arthouse look at just how surreal it all was. Either way, it'll win ten Oscars and probably be the best film of all time.

For the time being, my favorite performance of the Donald J. Trump role (the 'J' stands for Jackass) has been Alec Baldwin's hysterically over-the-top take on Saturday Night Live. Sure, the show's current Trump (James Austin Johnson) is more accurate, but comedic talent plays a big part in parody performances, and no one beats Baldwin's Trump impersonation in pure amount of laughter caused.

#4 in fictional Presidents: Meryl Streep as President Janie Orlean in Don't Look Up (2021)

"Exactly, 99.78% to be exact"

"Oh, great, okay, so it's not 100%"

"Well, scientists never like to say 100%"

"Call it 70% and let's just move on"

From one over-the-top cartoonish loon to another, Meryl Streep's character in Don't Look Up is so populist, so full of lies, so corrupt and rotten to the core, that it's hard to remember she's one of the fictional ones and not a real product of the American political system. As despicable as President Orlean is, Streep does one hell of a role performance, capturing so much of what is wrong with populist politics.

The character is a brilliant satire of such types, down to the entitled and nepotistic son (while Orlean isn't purely based on Trump but rather a mixture of Trump, Marine Le Pen, Boris Johnson and many others, Jonah Hill is practically just straight-up playing Donald Trump Jr., and the results are fantastic). Definitely one of the worst U.S. Presidents seen in fiction (though still somehow not as bad as a certain real-life one), but admittedly one of the most memorable ones as well.

#3 in real: Robin Williams as Theodore Roosevelt in Night at the Museum (2006) and its sequels

"Some men are born great - others have greatness thrust upon them"

Between Rami Malek's Ahkmenrah, Steve Coogan's Octavius and Robin Williams' take on the 26th President, the acting in this silly film about museum figures coming to life at night is way better than one might expect.

While technically Williams is playing a wax figure that magically came to life and not the actual person who was President, you couldn't tell the difference from the substance of his performance. He does a magnificent job channeling the verbal inspiration and adventurous attitude that Teddy Roosevelt was known for, not to mention the fact that he just really looks the part.

#3 in fictional: Bill Pullman as President Thomas J. Whitmore in Independence Day (1996)

"And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice - we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on, we're going to survive! TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!"

Oh, hell yeah. Combining the very best elements of what America is and what it should be, Bill Pullman kicks ass and takes names in the role of President Thomas J. Whitmore, who is faced with the tough job of leading the country through its first alien invasion. In the era of Trump and Biden, watching this young, vigorous and verbally sharp President feels like a total escapist fantasy, especially as Pullman is such a total badass in the role.

The battle speech is one for the ages, even if Ted Cruz did his very best to ruin it by quoting it while urging a violent mob to overthrow our democracy on January 6th. Man, where are those aliens when you need them?

#2 in real: Bruce Greenwood as John F. Kennedy in Thirteen Days (2000)

"What kind of peace do we seek? I am talking about genuine peace, the kind of peace that makes life on earth worth living. Not merely peace in our time but peace for all time. Our problems are man-made, therefore they can be solved by man"

I know - shocking that the history buff and civil rights enthusiast writing this blog would in fact be a fan of the Kennedys. And being a fan, I greatly appreciate Thirteen Days, which tells the story of the Cuban Missile Crisis and feels like a moving tribute to the Kennedy brothers while staying true to the facts instead of over-glorifying anything or anyone. And just as Steven Culp fills the shoes of Robert Kennedy, while Kevin Costner is a class act as Chief-of-Staff Kenny O'Donnell, I'd still argue that the true star of the show is Bruce Greenwood as President John F. Kennedy (the 'F' stands for 'Fucking legend').

The charm, the idealism, and the passionate drive that make Kennedy one of the all-time greats are on full display - but so are his flaws and his struggles. Greenwood delivers a layered and memorable performance, truly capturing the spirit of the man who kept us from going to World War III.

#2 in fictional: Dennis Haysbert as President David Palmer in 24 (2001-2010; 2014)

"Make no mistake: if we unleash our military power on nations that later prove innocent, it will rank as one of the most despicable sneak attacks in history. Any chance for peace in the Middle East will vanish forever. Even if it'll cost American lives in the future, we must delay this attack until we are certain of our ground"

A few things in the known universe are as massive as the balls on the 24 writers, writing the monologue quoted above in the lord's year 2002, effectively showing a gigantic middle finger to the Bush administration before it was cool. It is also one of the many times when the fictional President David Palmer was an inspiring light of beacon not only in the show's own reality, but also as a trailmap for how real-life Presidents should conduct themselves.

A lot of people, including Barack himself, have given this character's existence in the series (as well as Dennis Haysbert's performance) credit as a sort of precursor to Barack Obama's eventual path to the Presidency. For a long time, racism was so mainstream and prevalent in America that the idea of an African-American President seemed impossible (as late as in the 90's, 2Pac rapped 'We ain't never gonna se a Black President'), and one of the many things contributing to the disruption of this stigma was that millions of Americans saw a Black man as President in this popular and beloved TV series. In addition to helping Americans get used to this visual, Dennis Haysbert's performance throughout his time on the series is absolutely amazing, with President Palmer being a force to be reckoned with and one of the show's most iconic characters.

#1 in real: Christopher Jackson as George Washington in Hamilton

"It's allright, you wanna fight, you've got a hunger

I was just like you when I was younger

Head full of fantasies of dying like a martyr?

Dying is easy, young man, living is harder

I'm being honest

I'm working with a third of what our Congress has promised

We are a powder keg about to explode,

I need someone like you to lighten the load!"

Okay, so techincally the Broadway musical Hamilton doesn't qualify as a movie, but hear me out - technically, it does, as a performance of the musical with its original cast was shot with multiple cameras, edited, and released on Disney Plus as an on-screen way of watching the musical. So, it is enough of a movie to qualify for this list, as I really want to discuss Christopher Jackson's performance as George Washington.

Jackson is quite simply outstanding in this hard-to-live-up-to role. The very essence of the American revolution is captured in his inspiring way of speaking (or singing, or more often than not, rapping, due to the nature of the musical), while his overall demeanor and facial expressions truly rise up to the gravitas of our first Preisdent. Whether it's his intense rapid-fire opening lines in his introductory track Right Hand Man, his touching words of wisdom to the musical's titular protagonist in History Has Its Eyes On You, or his blistering emotional vocals in his tear-jerking farewell track One Last Time, Jackson's performance as the Pride of Mount Vernon is one for the ages.

#1 in fictional: Martin Sheen as President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet in The West Wing (1999-2006)

"When, after having heard the explosion from the practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran into the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight"

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral. Returning violence with violence only multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of light"

"I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination"

"I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President, the Bible does"

"Yes it does, Leviticus"

"18:22"

"Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another - my Chief-of-Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death - am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police?"

Yeah, I couldn't settle on just one quote. When watching Aaron Sorkin's masterpiece The West Wing, there are times when it's physically painful to remind oneself that Jed Bartlet isn't President in real life. Oh, how much better off we'd be - always one for ambitious character writing, Sorkin managed to create a character who embodies everything a politician and President should be, while still making him flawed and deeply human in an interesting way instead of being an over-perfect Superman type.

But while Sorkin is responsible for creating the idea of the character, it's the one and only Martin Sheen who truly brings Bartlet alive and makes him into our greatest fictional President (one who I'd argue has done more good for our nation than a few real-life Presidents). Whatever the situation calls for, whether it's Shakespearean chops of dramatic acting, relatable moments of humor and warmth or the delivery of a line in the most inspiring, fist-pump-worthy fashion one can imagine, Sheen is always able to bring it. The scene in the season 2 finale where Bartlet walks through an empty cathedral, addressing God directly and cursing in Latin, is some of the most profound work I've seen across all art forms, and it's just one of many examples where the character proved himself as one of television's best.

If a guy like Bartlet existed in real life, I'd very possibly pull a Josh Lyman (Brad Whitford) and drop whatever is going on in my life at the moment in order to campaign for this person, all fired up about wanting to make sure that his voice gets heard. Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for my annual Black History Month post, this time focusing on my top 10 favorite African-American filmmakers.

National Pizza Day: Top 5 Movie-Pizza Pairings

Greetings, reader!

And a delicious National Pizza Day to all. In order to celebrate this greatest of observances, I have combined my vast culinary knowledge with my well-versed cinematic wisdom, leading to a list of five excellent pairings of specific pizzas that go with specific films - nothing better than a pizza and a movie, after all. I hope you try one of these out either today or sometime during the post-Pizza-Day weekend festivities!

Here is my honorable mention: Pineapple and olive pizza with Deadpool (because of the scene where Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) prank-orders such a pizza for one of his victims).

5. Pizza Hut with Wayne's World (1992)

A good choice of pizza is sure to make the viewing experience even better with this comedy cult classic. Specifically, I'd go with an order from the Pizza Hut establishment, as this would neatly tie in with the film's ending - well, one of them, anyway.

As true fans will remember, Wayne's World features multiple endings, one of which sees Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana Carvey) becoming sell-outs, doing their show with heavy product placement. The product in question is Pizza Hut pizzas, so it'll feel quite meta to enjoy the Hut's fine offerings while watching this amusing development unfold.

4. Healthy pizza with Inside Out (2015)

Much like a good pizza-eating experience, Pixar's Inside Out is quite the emotional rollercoaster. In order to really get into protagonist Riley's (Kaitlyn Dias) state of mind and see the film through her eyes, you should prepare a pizza similar to the one she's presented with during the film's first act.

As you may or may not recall, one of the symbols for Riley's disappointment in her family moving to San Francisco is the upsetting sight of a pizza with broccoli and other healthy shit on it. "Congratulations San Francisco, YOU'VE RUINED PIZZA!", she screams, begging the question: how funny would it be to watch this film while dealing with broccoli et cetera on your own pizza?

3. Extra cheese with Do the Right Thing (1989)

Do the Right Thing, the Spike Lee masterpiece that I would easily call one of the best films ever made, takes place on a culturally diverse and racially tense street on a very hot day. One of the street's chief locations is Sal's pizzeria, where protagonist Mookie (played by the Spike himself) works as a delivery boy. True Leenthusiasts will remember the scene where Buggin Out (Giancarlo Esposito) argues with Sal (Danny Aiello) about extra cheese on his pizza, as the restaurant owner has the audacity to charge two dollars for said complement.

In a truly Spike-Lee-ean act of rebellion against the system, Buggin Out proceeds to take matters (and the parmesan shaker) into his own hands, chaotically sprinkling cheese onto his pizza before Sal intervenes. For a truly authentic experience, one could consider starting the film out with a regular pizza, and adding the extra parmesan manually right when this scene arrives!

2. Home delivery with Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Comedy cinema is full of iconic stoner moments, but I dare you to come up with any that are more iconic than Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) ordering a pizza straight into his classroom in school. We could all learn a thing or two from the content lifestyle of Mr. Spicoli - I remember being way too proud of myself on that one fateful day during my freshman year, when I rolled up to campus with my backpack containing zero books, no laptop or any other study materials, but merely a half-eaten pizza wrapped in tin foil for me to enjoy while sitting in the back of the auditorium. As I opened my backpack and happily took the pizza out, my friends sitting next to me looked at this visual with facial expressions that were equal parts judgement, envy and respect.

So, the next time you want to relive your youth and watch or re-watch this early 80's classic, ordering a pizza will enhance the viewing experience in a (arguably) healthier and (depending on where you live) more legal manner than possible other ways of getting into the Jeff Spicoli spirit. Now that apps such as Wolt even offer the option of timing the ideal moment of delivery, you can try to create the dream scenario where your pizza arrives at the exact moment when Jeff's pizza arrives in the film!

1. Plain cheese with Home Alone (1990)

Even though my family is very loving and kind, and I don't have any violent tendencies, I still somehow found Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) to be very relatable as a little kid - I suppose it's his creativity and wit that resonated with me. To this day, I often find a plain cheese pizza to be one of the very best options to order, and it is very possible that my love for this delicacy traces back to this film (I'm often guilty of starting to like foods and beverages because of a psychological kinship to their use in fiction - I'm convinced that I started to like whiskey because enjoying it made me feel like I was a character in a Hemingway novel). So, I'd imagine that little Veikko's tendency to order plain cheese pizzas (to the amusement of his family) had something to do with low-key wanting to be like the hero from the world's greatest Christmas movie.

Whether you're watching the original Home Alone or the almost equally magnificent Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), a plain cheese pizza will be equally appropriate for either film; the first movie sees Kevin ordering such a pizza to his home and scaring the delivery boy away with some top-tier shenanigans, whereas the sequel features Kevin devouring a cheese pizza while sitting in a limousine - and at the end of the day, isn't that everyone's fantasy?

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I celebrate President's Day by ranking the top 5 fictional U.S. Presidents from movies and television, and the top 5 portrayals of real-life U.S. Presidents.

Ranking the Episodes of Netflix's Kaleidoscope

Greetings, reader!

Well, I recently finished the new Netflix hit Kaleidoscope (2023), and I can thoroughly recommend it to fans of gimmicks, heist capers and Giancarlo Esposito.

For those not familiar with the show's concept, it's a wild one - Kaleidoscope is written in a way that the story will make sense no matter what order you watch the episodes in, and therefore there is no 'right' order to watch them in. In fact, Netflix randomizes the viewing order for all users, with the exception that the short intro-episode Black is the beginning point for everyone, and the chronologically last episode White is the final one in everyone's order. Still, a pretty cool trick (and one that must've taken tremendous amount of thought from the writers, whose work I applaud). Here is my ranking of the episodes - as a tribute to the show's premise, I won't present them from worst to best as usual, but rather in a randomized order!

Also, a SPOILER ALERT is in place, as the list is intended for people who have watched the series.

2. Yellow (Six weeks before the heist)

One of the coolest parts of any classic heist flick is the assembling of the team. It's a cliché, but a lovable one, and Kaleidoscope's trajectory is no exception as one of my favorite parts was watching the team come together as the heist gets planned in this episode. The biggest reason for it being #2 on my list, however, is the Diamond Way robbery sequence, which makes brilliant use of The Rolling Stones's Sympathy for the Devil in the soundtrack.

Chronologically, Yellow is the third episode out of eight, and in my viewing order, it was fourth (after Violet, Blue and Green). Having seen the two narratively earlier episodes beforehand, it was easy to keep up, and having seen glimpses of the already-formed team working together in Blue, it was a neat payoff to see how they became a team.

6. Violet (Twenty-four years before the heist)

I've seen many people call Violet, the chronologically earliest episode, their personal favorite from the series. I've put it at only sixth place, and this might partially be because of my viewing order - I had the slight misfortune of having this as my very first episode, and I'm guessing that it would hit a lot harder if it would come later in the viewing experience. Of course it works as a beginning (as does any of these episodes), but I can only imagine what a powerhouse Violet would be more towards the end.

When starting the narrative with Violet, one immediately knows Ray's (Giancarlo Esposito) history with antagonist Roger Salas (Rufus Sewell). If one starts with a different episode and comes upon Violet later in the series, I'd imagine it would work as a very gripping and eye-opening flashback; hence most people ranking the episode higher than I would. It still makes it to sixth place, because I do appreciate its value as an emotional backstory to our protagonist and his nemesis.

5. Red (The morning after the heist)

Coming in at fifth place is Red, the chronologically second-last episode that picks up in the immediate aftermath of the big heist. For Tarantino fans, this is a strong candidate for being the coolest possible beginning point, as the "What went wrong?" opening has a strong Reservoir Dogs feel to it. In my viewing order, Red was third-last, so I had seen everything leading up to the heist but not the actual heist.

Red does a nice job showing the aftermath while still leaving many things open, leaving the viewer guessing concerning the details of the heist - who has the bearer bonds, what happened to Bob (Jai Courtney), what's in Roger's personal safe et cetera. When I started the show and heard that the actual heist is the final episode for everyone, I remember wondering whether there would be any episodes taking place after the heist that we see before it, as that would be conceptually cool but extremely challenging to write. However, they pulled it off.

9. Orange (Three weeks before the heist)

One of the few episodes that I didn't particularly like, Orange still has its moments but overall it left quite a bad taste. The fourth episode chronologically and the fifth in my viewing order, the big highlight with Orange is the ending where we find out about Ava (Paz Vega) working with the FBI. This is a good example of the show's premise working, as viewers who see Orange towards the beginning will watch subsequent episodes knowing of Ava's informant role, whereas viewers who see this towards the end will be shocked to find out that this was the case throughout many of the episodes.

However, a big minus in the episode is the characterization of FBI agent Nazan Abassi (Niousha Noor) - based on all the other episodes, she'd be an interesting and sympathetic-but-flawed character, but this episode absolutely ruins her development. Her monologue to coworker Samuel (Bubba Weiler) feels clunky and forced, and even worse, her tactic of getting Ava to flip by threatening Ava's mother with deportation is totally over the line. It would be different if she was written as a total villain, but the series clearly tries to paint her as a somewhat humane and relatable character, and the serious issue of deporting immigrants is used much too casually as a plot device as if it wouldn't make viewers like me completely loathe the character. Poor taste with that one.

4. Blue (Five days before the heist)

While I do believe that Kaleidoscope's writers succeeded in the 'The story will make sense no matter what order you watch the episodes in' shtick, I'd estimate that having Blue as your very second episode after Violet is one of the absolute weirdest ways to get into the story. The heist is in the making as you're thrown into a whole bunch of characters you haven't met before, with all sorts of drama going on as the heist nears. There's still enough introductory dialogue to help you keep up with all this new information, and an upside to seeing Blue before Yellow and Orange is that it's fun to eventually 'meet' the heist team and see how they came together, once you've already seen them working as a team.

The biggest individual reason for the chronologically fifth episode being quite highly ranked on my list is how it leads up to the heist - the episode starts five days before the main event, but ends right in the smack-beginning of the heist, and that is a thing to behold. In addition to the episode doing a decent job with one of my favorite heist movie tropes (The 'mastermind explaining how it will all go down' montage), the major cliffhanger with the heist about to go down is dramatic and exciting.

7. Pink (Six months after the heist)

The very last episode chronologically has its ups and down, making it a mixed bag that is certainly better than the mostly-disappointing Orange, but not as good as most of the episodes, as a vast majority had very little to complain about. To start out with the negatives, the way things are wrapped up (pretty much everyone dies) is a bit lazy and anti-climactic. While White is the final episode in everyone's viewing order, Pink is the 'true ending' in many ways, and parts of it feel like the writers really rushed to wrap things up.

But oh boy, there are positives - mainly relating to the show's overall cleverness. While I wasn't a big fan of the creative decision to kill almost everyone off, I still appreciate the tie-ins in how some of the deaths are written: Agent Abassi's death seems obscure and unexplained, until you remember a line in Blue about how the 'Triplets' get rid of people in their way, and thus realize that they're the ones who offed her.

Similarly, Leo's (apparent) killer isn't seen, but the shirt he's wearing is also worn by Roger Salas' son in White, therefore making sure that the final episode everyone sees reveals to the most observant viewers that it was a case of the cycle of revenge. So, while Pink is a bit anti-climactic, I still give points for the clever writing as things are brought to a close while still leaving enough open for the reveals in White.

8. Black (Introductory mini-episode)

The minute-long intro episode tells everyone what the series is going to be about, which is a good thing, because viewers who didn't know about the premise beforehand might be confused or at least miss out on a lot of stuff otherwise. Being so short and introductory in nature, Black isn't up there with most of the actual episodes, but it still makes it ahead of Orange, as this one does nothing wrong and didn't do anything to piss me off.

1. Green (Seven years before the heist)

I love a good prison escape flick, and this episode is just that. An episode that many have cited as the best possible starting point, Green is second chronologically and was third in my viewing order. You know, it's funny (and a bit disappointing) how my viewing order ended up being very close to the chronological order - on one hand, I can't complain, because every viewing order works including this one, but given my enthusiasm for the show's wild premise, it would've been cool to see an order that jumps back and forth more. The episodes I watched, marked by the chronological number of each one, would be 1-5-2-3-4-7-8-6; so the only exceptions to the chronological order were Blue being so early and White being obviously last.

But, while Green didn't come to me as a cool starting point or a mind-blowing early flashback, it was still the best individual episode. The escape sequence is remarkably entertaining and full of clever, Prison Break (2005-2009) -style moments. In addition, Giancarlo Esposito pulls off one hell of a performance here, and the dramatic final act (Ray reuniting with his daughter and realizing how Roger Salas has made it) is the perfect set-up to Ray's motives for pulling the heist.

3. White (The heist)

While not quite being the show's #1 best episode or the masterpiece that some finales manage to be, White is still a very overall satisfying ending that makes the whole thing feel successful and worthwhile. The biggest question on the mind of the viewer, coming into this episode and having seen them all including post-heist episodes Red and Pink, is naturally "WHO ENDS UP WITH THE BEARER BONDS?". The reason for White not being even higher on my list, despite its virtues, is actually the answer to this question - the big twist of Leo's daughter Hannah (Tati Gabrielle) double-crossing the team doesn't quite stick the landing. It's alright and it's better than no big twist, but it feels just a bit forced and not as smooth and mind-blowing as the Big Twists in heist capers like Ocean's Eleven (2011) or Fast Five (2011).

But the just-okay twist isn't enough to ruin the episode, especially as everything else in White is pure gold. Seeing the heist go down, after all of the build-up (and all of the aftermath) is just one payoff after another, with especially the long, no-dialogue opening sequence being quite the thrill ride. Also, while the big twist with the bearer bonds fell a bit flat, the other big twist (Ray leaving the medallion from Violet in Roger's safe) is insanely satisfying. It works on so many levels - with one simple act, he makes sure Roger will get busted and go to prison, while also letting him know who it was that took him down, in the most badass way possible. Definitely the right way to end the series.

Thank you for reading! Next week's Thursday is National Pizza Day, so I'll be ranking my top 5 recommended movie/pizza pairings. See you then!