Literature Month III: Top 10 opening lines from Stephen King books

Greetings, reader!

Today's Literature Month post is a niche one. I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and one of his strongest suits as an author is a specific one: he is arguably the all-time greatest writer of opening lines to a book.

If you've read a lot of King, I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about: with pretty much any of his books, you are hooked and locked in from the very first sentences, because they grab the reader's attention in a rare and magical way. I've spent a lot of time analyzing this, and I think it has a lot to do with a combination of information and mystery - most often, the first line of a King book gives you a lot of necessary information, but without feeling like over-exposition or infodumping, because it also leaves something important unsaid and immediately raises questions in the reader's mind. There's an angle, a point of view, and an atmosphere right off the bat, but also a pressing sense of "I NEED TO KNOW MORE RIGHT NOW". To pay tribute to this skill wielded by one of my favorite authors, this is my ranking of the top 10 best opening lines from Stephen King books!

Here are my honorable mentions:

Carrie (1974): News item from the Westover (Me.) weekly Enterprise, August 19, 1966: RAIN OF STONES REPORTED.

Lisey's Story (2006): To the public eye, the spouses of well-known writers are all but invisible, and no one knew it better than Lisey Landon.

The Long Walk (1979): An old blue Ford pulled into the guarded parking lot that morning, looking like a small, tired dog after a hard run.

The Stand (1978): "Sally". A mutter. "Wake up now, Sally".

Wizard and Glass (The Dark Tower #4, 1997): "ASK ME A RIDDLE", Blaine invited.

10. Pet Sematary (1983)

Louis Creed, who had lost his father at three and who had never known a grandfather, never expected to find a father as he entered his middle age, but that was exactly what happened...although he called this man a friend, as a grown man must do when he finds the man who should have been his father relatively late in life.

Not only do we find out the most profound aspect of one of Pet Sematary's key character dynamics in the very first sentence - we find it out in a thoroughly thought-provoking manner. King deliberately chooses to provide us with this exact bit of information before we know anything else about protagonist Louis Creed, before we even read about his meeting with the man being discussed in the sentence. Before any of that, the reader is given this exact bit of context, that will shape their understanding of Louis, of Jud Crandall, and of their relationship. It piques one's interest when reading the book for the first time, and is quite emotional when coming back to the sentence after knowing the full story.

9. Insomnia (1994)

No one - least of all Dr. Litchfield - came right out and told Ralph Roberts that his wife was going to die, but there came a time when Ralph understood without needing to be told.

Just like with the previous entry, we get a key bit of information about the main character, while King also shines a light on a philosophical train of thought that tells the reader something about the author's way of looking at the world, touching on universal truths larger than this one book. It's quite a heartbreaking sentiment, especially for the first line of a book - and seeing as Ralph Roberts' loss of (and mourning for) his wife plays such a big part in Insomnia, it is very fitting that gearing up for said tragedy is the very first thing we learn about.

8. The Shining (1977)

Jack Torrance thought: officious little prick.

Hell yeah. With just six words, we are thrown into the middle of an interaction between characters, immediately having a strong dynamic and point of view. Now, I had seen the movie several times before reading the book, but I can only imagine how this opening line would be even more fascinating for a reader with no prior knowledge: on one hand, it tells you a lot right off the bat, but on the other, it tells delightfully little. Who is Jack Torrance, and why is he having this thought? Why is that the first thing the storyteller wants us to learn? Are we supposed to relate to Jack, and the person he's thinking about is indeed an officious prick? Or is the takeaway supposed to be about Jack himself, teaching the reader that he thinks about people in a crude manner? Can't know from this alone, but dying to find out - and that's how King gets his readers hooked.

7. The Wolves of the Calla (The Dark Tower #5, 2003)

Tian was blessed (though few farmers would have used such a word) with three patches: River Field, where his family had grown rice since time out of mind; Roadside Field, where ka-Jaffords had grown sharproot, pumpkin and corn for those same long years and generations; and Son of a Bitch, a thankless tract which mostly grew rocks, blisters and busted hopes.

Ah, chills. First of all, for readers who are deep enough in the Dark Tower mythos to pick up the fifth book, it's pretty much guaranteed that lore and worldbuilding are engaging things, and getting a lot of that in just the first sentence really puts you in the mood to enjoy this instalment of King's larger-than-life fantasy series. Additionally, the language reminds the reader that they're not diving into any fantasy epic - you can't really imagine Tolkien or Lewis introducing you to a patch of land called Son of a Bitch. The combination of fantasy tropes and King's own (often crude and street-smart) approach to language is what makes the Dark Tower books unique, and that balance is tangible right from the first line in The Wolves of the Calla.

6. Doctor Sleep (2013)

On the second day of December in a year when a Georgia peanut farmer was doing business in the White House, one of Colorado's great resort hotels burned to the ground.

The pseudo-sequel to The Shining begins, well, in the exact way that a pseudo-sequel to The Shining should begin. With his gift for words, King finds a delightfully creative and romantic way of taking the reader back to the setting of his most infamous book, describing when it took place with a zany Jimmy Carter reference and reminding of the book's climax like it's an old, semi-forgotten news item. This is just the right tone to kick Doctor Sleep off - time has passed, but it's important to remember the milieu in which the now-adult Danny Torrance was brought up.

5. 'Salem's Lot (1975)

Almost everyone thought the man and the boy were father and son.

A big reason for King's opening lines being so good is the balance between information and mystery that I mentioned in today's intro text - and here we have one of the best examples. On one hand, the sentence gives you the sense that King isn't wasting any time with atmospheric descriptions or once-upon-a-times but rather goes straight to the point with this fact, ensuring that the reader is locked in with an almost hurried sense of wanting to know what's going on as they're thrust into the midst of an existing situation. But on the other hand, the fact that we're given raises a lot of fascinating questions - the man and the boy are clearly important as the whole thing starts with them, but who are they? It's implied that they're not father and son, so why does almost everyone think so? And what is their relationship then?

Also, the way the story is built, the entire prologue and especially the first line will remain in the reader's consciousness throughout the reading experience, because King takes his sweet time before revealing how exactly the man and the boy fit into the narrative. Genius.

4. Misery (1987)

umber whunnnn

yerrrnnn umber whunnnn

fayunnnn

These sounds: even in the haze.

Now here are some opening words that will truly grab your attention. The random sounds are such an unusual way to start a book, that the curiosity of a reader like me (a fan of anything odd and unusual) is immediately piqued, and there's something deeply haunting about the specific wording "These sounds: even in the haze". While the mystery of what exactly is going is resolved rather quickly, the way Misery kicked off will stay with the reader throughout it all.

3. The Dark Tower (The Dark Tower #7, 2004)

Pere Don Callahan had once been the Catholic priest of a town, 'Salem's Lot had been its name, that no longer existed on any map.

This is the only time I can recollect being moved to tears from the first sentence of a book. If you're wondering why, I don't blame you - it takes thousands and thousands of pages of context to get to the point where I was when finally opening the final Dark Tower book. It's not a typical King opening line because the context of the book is so special - after six long books of the main series, as well as nearly his whole bibliography being part of the interconnected multiverse that is all tied together in the Dark Tower series, not to mention the effect that dramatic real-life events like King's struggles with substance abuse, eventual sobering up and his infamous near-death incident of 1999 had on the books, this book is where it all came together, culminating in the ultimate payoff and probably the most climactic book I've ever read.

And for that book, he decided to abandon the typical "information, but mystery" structure of his opening lines, instead going with deeply emotional nostalgia that just felt so right in the context. 'Salem's Lot is the second book King ever wrote, and the first to take place in the larger-life canon that encompasses everything from The Shining and It to The Stand and the seven Dark Tower books. I had patiently read pretty much everything having to do with King's multiverse before entering the final Dark Tower book, knowing that the payoff would hit harder when having the utmost build-up and context, and knowing that 'Salem's Lot is where the journey started, it felt indescribably touching that the author chose to open the final Dark Tower book with a callback to where it all began.

For me, the journey of reading these books had encompassed several years and thousands of pages, but for King himself, it's a lot more than that - he wrote 'Salem's Lot in 1975, and the grandiose story kicked off by it came to an end nearly 30 years later with this book. So, yeah, unless you've read it all as well, you won't understand the rush of raw emotion when you finally begin to read the final Dark Tower and that opening line tugs at your heartstrings - but if you know, you know.

2. It (1986)

The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years - if it ever did end - began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain.

Shivers, shivers, absolute shivers. Although I read the book after I saw the 2017 movie, I like to imagine how these words would work on a reader who has picked up the 1200-page epic with no pre-existing knowledge of what the book will contain. The entire book, with its gargantuan length and complex narratives - it's really all right there in that first sentence.

Without giving too much away, it tells you everything essential, while wording the tail end of the sentence with absolute specific-atmosphere-creating beauty. It also works on multiple levels, because the horror element of what could be argued to be the scariest book of all time is intensely present right from the start - even after you've read the book and know how it all shakes out, returning to this sentence and remembering the words "if it ever did end" will send major shivers down your spine. I'm literally feeling a bit uneasy thinking about it as I write this.

1. The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower #1, 1982)

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

And here we have it - the greatest opening line of all time, not just among King's works, but - I dare say - across all literature. Dickens' "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times" from A Tale of Two Cities and Vonnegut's "All this happened, more or less" from Slaughterhouse-Five come somewhat close, but really, it's no contest. I remember the feeling so vividly: after tons of background research on the King multiverse books you're supposed to read before kicking off the Dark Tower series according to various nerds on the internet, I finally picked up the first book of the series that I had waited so long to read, with no idea on what it would really be about but only that it is considered King's magnum opus - and from that very first sentence, I was hooked to the utmost degree.

In twelve words, King introduces an antagonist, a protagonist, a setting, an action, tension, a power dynamic, and a point of view in the middle of an implied ongoing situation. This opening sentence provokes questions that the rest of the book proceeds to answer, while touching themes that will go on the be explored throughout the seven-book series. This line had such an impact on me that I ended up subtly referencing it in my master's thesis (I was stumped on how to open my introduction chapter, until one night my endless pondering about Stephen King inspired me to an answer - the opening sentence I went with would roughly translate to "The music teacher played their favorite song, and the student listened"). But, yeah, this is the GOAT right here.

Thank you for reading! Literature Month III is now done - tune in next week for a special post having to do with the upcoming municipal elections in Finland.

Literature Month III: My top 10 favorite poets of all time

Greetings, reader!

The third edition of Literature Month continues, with this week's post focusing on my love for poetry. While music lyrics are a form of poetry, I decided not to include lyrics as admissible material for this list, because I'm much more of a music geek than a poetry geek, so this would've just become a list of my favorite lyricists otherwise (hey, not a bad idea for the next time I do a music theme month!). Authors who are best-known for prose but have also written poetry are eligible for the list, but I will naturally only judge them for their poetic works here. This is my ranking of my top 10 favorite poets of all time!

Here are my honorable mentions: Eino Leino, James Baldwin, Robert Browning, Robert Service, Sirpa Kyyrönen.

10. Charles Bukowski

The English language doesn't have an exact translation for the brilliant Finnish term 'rappioromantiikka' ("decadent culture/art" comes the closest, I suppose), which is a damn shame, as the possibly all-time best example of that school of thought was the German-American poet Charles Bukowski. His poems are wonderfully crude, dirty, gritty and all over the place in a way that really captures the essence of a way of life that perhaps shouldn't be glorified, but is nonetheless the reality for many, and therefore deserves to be written about.

There is little elegance and symmetry in Bukowski's work, but his text is so raw that it hits hard and proves how large of a spectrum poetry can work on. I'm partially sad and partially glad that I only got acquainted with his works in this stage of life - Bukowski's poems would've resonated a thousand times more with the desperate-single Veikko from a few years ago, but that poor f**ker would've definitely become a little too obsessed with his works, so maybe this timing is for the best.

9. Robert Frost

A friend of mine once asked, 'does the U.S. even have its own culture?'. Her hypothesis was that my second home country is run by money and capitalism to such a degree that it wouldn't have a culture beyond that in the way that other countries do. Now, I'm as critical about the U.S. and about the ultra-capitalist way in which the country is run as anyone, but that being said, this question saddened me and made me very defensive. I get that someone who has only seen a certain side of the country in the media would think that way, but that's what made me sad - all the beauty of American culture that isn't visible for those who haven't witnessed it firsthand, and who only see the evils committed by the country's leadership and military worldwide.

My response to the question was something like "I ask you to listen to the music of Dylan and Springsteen, read the books of Steinbeck and Hemingway, watch some Spike Lee movies and read some poems by Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost, and then tell me whether or not Americans have their own culture". I chose those examples because I find them to be some of the very best instances of the beauty in the American mindset and what America means to me - and if I had to single out just one example out of the bunch, I would very likely go with Robert Frost.

For my Finnish readers, I'd say that Frost is largely to the U.S. what Eino Leino is to Finland (sorry, Finns - Leino is a legend and only barely missed out on my top 10). His descriptions of American nature, and of the lives of ordinary people, are just brilliant. Poems like The Road Not Taken, as well as the one he wrote for John F. Kennedy's inauguration at the age of 86 years, are breathtaking pieces of American cultural history.

8. Walt Whitman

Not only is Whitman a legend within poetic literature - his words of wisdom are so good that they have made their way into some of my favorite movies and TV shows, making for some of the all-time memorable uses of poetry in other media. Dead Poets Society, one of my the best movies ever made, would not be the same without the quotations from Whitman delivered by the late great Robin Williams, particularly the use of the iconic O Captain! My Captain! poem. Furthermore, my #1 favorite scene in the TV series Ted Lasso quotes Whitman's immortal words "Be curious, not judgemental", which honestly condenses the show's entire premise and themes with perfection, with the words having moved me so much that they've stayed with me ever since, becoming somewhat engrained in my worldview.

Even beyond the brilliant use of Whitman's words in movies and TV, his material always makes for a great read on its own. A huge percentage of the best poets are people who belonged to one minority or another, as representing a marginalized group makes for unique perspectives and points-of-view, and Whitman is a classic example of this: he's one of those poets who many historians have analyzed with the "he never had a wife, and he had many close male friends, and his correspondence with Bram Stoker reads almost like love letters, I wonder what could be up with that?" classics. When you read his poems with this context in mind, themes of forbidden love and hidden identities are painfully clear in his writings, which is gripping on one hand and beautiful on the other.

7. William Shakespeare

Shakespeare is best-known for his plays (which quite often use the poetic measures of their time amidst the dialogue, with some of the plays being written pretty much entirely in poetic verse). But as fellow bookworms will know, his sonnets aren't far behind in terms of iconic status. The Bard certainly had a way with words, often finding delightful mixtures of insightful humor, romantic passion and beautiful atmospheres in his sonnets.

6. Sappho

How influential was this larger-than-life poet from ancient Greece? Well, if you've ever heard the term 'Sapphic', that will give you some idea. As for how iconic she was as a poet and a person - well, she lived on the island of Lesbos, loved many women, and if you think this is a coincidence, it isn't. The term 'Lesbian' literally comes from her, as the poet apparently was such a gay icon that the general term for people from that island became an euphemism for women who are into women, and the rest is history.

That incredible fun fact aside, Sappho's poetry is just brilliant. Tragically few of her works have survived, but those that did have been translated and analyzed over the years, and they're just so good. I never knew I needed Greek mythology juxtaposed with queer undertones in a mixture of historical artefact and groundbreaking poetic structure, but reading Sappho's works most definitely deepened my appreciation for the poetic arts. The last poem in the collection Stung with Love: Poems and Fragments ends with the words "I declare; That later on; Even in an age unlike our own; Someone will remember who we are", and reading these words thousands of years after they were written moved me to tears, considering how true they turned out to be.

5. Tommy Tabermann

When I graduated high school, my homeroom teacher Maarit, who also happens to be the all-time greatest teacher of Finnish and literature, gave me Nathan Hill's book The Nix as a present - and as you can surmise from The Nix's placement in my top 10 favorite books of all time, there's no one quite like a literature teacher who knows you when it comes to giving just the right book to the right person at the right time in their life. The same turned out to be true a year later, when she gave me a going-away present when I finished my civil service year at the same school - this time, it was Tommy Tabermann's Kukkiva Kivi (1978) collection.

In that specific stage of my life, Tabermann's poems resonated with me to a profound degree. I keep the book at my parents' home, and every once in a while I return to the several parts that I bookmarked due to certain poems speaking to me so much that I felt a compulsion to return to them now and again. They hit different every time, but have remained very important to me throughout it all. Tabermann certainly had a way with words, and his wildly emotional ramblings, delightfully interpretational phrases and depictions of sensations from sweet romance to erotic lust and everything in between are quite incredible.

4. J.R.R. Tolkien

I know people mostly associate Tolkien with his prose, for obvious reasons, but hear me out - in addition to everything else in his celebrated legacy, J.R.R. Tolkien was extremely underrated as a poet. His gift for the art form can be seen sporadically throughout works like The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, where various poems from the fictional world of Middle-Earth are delightfully sprinkled into various places, and they always make for a great read.

But what really kindled my love for Tolkien's poetic chops was when I read The Adventures of Tom Bombadil, an entire book comprised of Middle-Earth poems by Mr. Tolkien. The intersection of Tolkien's unbridled gift for fantasy worlbuilding and the nature of the poetic arts is quite perfect, as the collection is filled with just the zaniest and most imaginative descriptions of fascinating lore, atmospheric locations and testaments to the beauty of nature.

3. Mohammed el-Kurd

I recently read Rifqa, a deeply touching and painfully relevant collection of poems by the Palestinian Mohammed el-Kurd. In what is one of the most powerful instances of activism through poetry and revolutionary poetry that I have encountered, he details his own experiences and those of his family, through creatively structured and heartbreaking poems. A large underlying theme is the collection's namesake, el-Kurd's grandmother Rifqa, who was older than the state of Israel and lived through the Nakba, years of occupation and bloodshed, before dying at the age of 103 a year before the collection was released. Here are just a few of my favorite quotations:

"She worked; worked; and worked; until survival was a funny story to tell; on evenings with; what remains of the family"

"Was it because there were no more graves in Gaza; that you brought us to the beach to die?"

"Gaza - woman; lives where bulldozers rest on clouds. Her hospital bed is her home's rubble; nothing left of her husband but a bloodied beard"

"[Martyr's] death ten years later the government sends out Hallmark cards, and Washington spat on Mandela a few breaths before it kissed him"

And yes, these were all written and published way before 2023. I wish people had listened.

2. Maya Angelou

"You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise"

These words, like a vast majority of the words of this voice of the Civil Rights Movement, have truly aged like wine. As much effort as the American establishment has put into maintaining systematic racism and painting the architects of activism as villains, those voices were simply too powerful to be silenced, and Angelou's words have continued to resonate and inspire for decades, and will continue to do so for as long as it takes. Poems like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, On the Pulse of Morning and Still I Rise are among the very best examples of poetry, and art in general, changing and reshaping society with its revolutionary themes.

1. Emily Dickinson

I often find myself thinking about the tragic life of Emily Dickinson. She lived for 55 years, by all accounts a lesbian in a time when this wasn't accepted by society, and spent her life writing poems that didn't get published or appreciated during her lifetime. Her last words are reported to be "I must go in, the fog is rising", because even when faced with death, she was better with words than anyone who has ever lived.

Thankfully, her sister discovered her poems after her death, and their publication lead to Dickinson finding the acclaim she deserved posthumously, becoming one of the most influential and appreciated poets of all time. Her Poems for Youth collection is some of the very best poetry I've read, with many of the poems including veiled references to her sexuality that aged in a heartbreaking yet beautiful manner, and all of the poems being atmospheric, beautifully worded and structurally genius.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for the incredibly niche final instalment of Literature Month III: a ranking of the top 10 best opening lines from the books of the King of opening lines (Stephen King).

Top 10 reasons to vote for Aaro Viitanen in the Jyväskylä municipal elections

Greetings, reader!

Yeah, I know, 'supposed to be a movie/TV blog' et cetera. But this was too important and cool not to write about: Finland's municipal elections are next week, and one of my dearest friends, Aaro Viitanen, is running for office in our hometown of Jyväskylä. I've had the honor of working as Aaro's campaign manager for the last several months, and as the campaign draws to a close, I wanted to use this hilariously small platform to try and convince as many of my followers as possible that voting for him is in the interest of any Jyväskylä resident. These are the top 10 reasons why you should strongly consider voting for him next week’s Sunday.

Here are my honorable mentions:

- Getting this guy into the city council could potentially be the start of a promising political career in the long run

- If you're worried about corruption in local politics, you can trust this guy as he has no money tied/invested in anything and isn't generally interested in becoming rich (unlike many politicians)

- Representation for the students, musicians and activist hippies of Jyväskylä

- The fact that I was inspired to work as his campaign manager (and to write this post about him completely unprompted) says a lot, as I'm an excellent judge of character.

- If you don't like Aaro for some reason, voting him into office so that he has to deal with municipal politics would be a fantastic prank

10. Not happy with the current government? Neither is this guy

If you're a Finn and you're happy with the work Petteri Orpo's far-right government is doing - I don't really know what to say to you, good for you I guess. But for the majority of Finns who are not happy with Orpo's government, voting in elections like this one is a great way of counteracting far-right politics and showing that Finland can be better than our cold, racist government is making us out to be.

As Aaro's campaign manager, I can say that opposing the direction that Orpo's government is taking Finland towards has been one of his campaign's central tenets from the beginning. The more you're frustrated by the xenophobia, rampant militarism and cutting-from-those-who-have-the-least demonstrated by Orpo's government, the likelier it is that you'll find solace in Aaro's politics, based on humanity, peace, equality and other respectable standards forgotten by our current leaders.

9. A vote for the candidate is also a vote for the party

I have voted for Finland's Green Party in most elections since I turned 18, and was even a member of the party for a couple of years. However, events in the last few years have caused a shift in my party loyalty, which is why this year the more left-wing Vasemmistoliitto is the party that I'm recommending for these elections. This shift has happened for many reasons - Li Andersson's Presidential campaign being more inspiring and relevant to my values than Pekka Haavisto's last year, the current Green leadership pushing the party away from its left-wing roots and towards the likes of Kokoomus, and Vasemmistoliitto in general having a stronger stance on the issues that need fixing in Finnish society at the moment. I will always have love for the Greens as my original political home, but right now in 2025, Vasemmistoliitto is the party that is meeting the moment better than any other.

In Finnish politics, the balance of voting for the candidate and for the party is always an intriguing one, because of the D'Hondt method - choosing a candidate you like isn't enough, because your vote very much also affects the overall success of the candidate's party whether or not your candidate pulls through. I've followed the campaigns and platforms of all parties in the news quite attentively these past few months, and am thoroughly convinced that Vasemmistoliitto is the way to go for someone with my worldview - so, when voting for Aaro, you won't just be voting for a great candidate, but also helping the party gain the traction it deserves!

8. We are past half measures

There was a time when I was more of a centrist than I am now on a whole number of issues - in an ideal world, I still would be, because in an ideal world, the issues being discussed in society would be discussed by rational people with rational takes, and therefore compromise would be sweet. I'm a peaceful and diplomatic guy by nature, and I never wanted to be on the 'extreme' of any issue.

Then came the times that we live in.

In the political climate of 2025, positions such as "I think everyone should have the same basic human rights as everyone else" and "Guys, maybe we should do something about this climate catastrophe instead of continuing to f**k around and make it worse until our planet is uninhabitable?" are quickly labeled as naive, far-left lunacy, harmfully contributing to the polarization in our society and any number of things. As long as being for principles like equal human rights and trying to save the planet is seen as radical, I suppose that's what I am then. As soon as the time comes that society has evolved to the point where the major parties debate things like "Okay, we all agree that structural racism and sexism are a thing that should be addressed, so what are the best concrete tools to address this serious problem?" and "Okay, obviously the ongoing destruction of our planet needs to be stopped, so do we follow the path recommended by these scientists or the path recommended by those scientists?", I'll happily be a centrist again.

But, yeah. Taking the environment into consideration in any given decision-making process, which is the #1 priority of Aaro's campaign, is more important than good vibes or maintaining the capitalist pipedream of endless ongoing economical growth at the expense of our planet and natural resources. Municipal politics have plenty to do with the environment, and Aaro is candidate who had pledged that any political decision that can be done more ecologically, must be done more ecologically, because that's how serious the climate crisis is. If you're sick of parties like Perussuomalaiset demonizing people who care about the environment while boasting on how much they'll trample on it, or of parties like Kokoomus (and, these days, SDP) campaigning as if they care about the environment so that the people who don't bother looking into things will feel good about voting for them only to realize that they never do prioritize the environment in any given decision when elected into office, then Aaro is the candidate for you.

7. 'Socialism' is a big and scary word to many - but should it be?

Whether it's the red scare in American history or the one we know in Finland, everyone except for socialists seems to have a plethora of negative connotations about the word. On behalf of the openly socialist candidate I'm pulling for, here are a few counter-arguments to the classic anti-socialism arguments that I hope any wary-of-socialism readers will consider:

A) "Socialism is great as an idea, but it hasn't ever worked in practice" - my thing is that you can say the exact same about capitalism. That's what so many in the West don't yet realize; the most common argument you hear against socialism or especially communism, having to do with the problems it might often bring with it, is a dumb f**king argument because we have those problems now and capitalism sure as shit isn't any better. You might be reading this on your iPhone and thinking that we have it pretty good in today's society, but I ask you to think of the child workers in colonized and exploited parts of the world that make it possible for you to have the iPhone. Does that make it worth it? People like me and you are well off because capitalism, at its best, helps half of the world lead a more or less decent life for the price of ripping off the other half, all the while wrecking our environment for that ever-imporant illusion of endless constant growth. No one has figured out a way to run a capitalist society in a way where everyone has a chance to be well off. This is seen best in the poster child of capitalism, the United States, where the billions and billions of dollars accumulated by Bezos and Musk go hand in hand with the millions and millions of homeless people suffering across the country. I say it's time we try something else.

B) "Socialism is great as an idea, but it hasn't ever worked in practice" tackled from another viewpoint: we're talking about socialism here, not Stalin's USSR. It's a broad spectrum of ideals, and socialism is what has given Finland its welfare state basis, with elements like universal healthcare and free education. Socialism gave us a society where people have safety nets to fall back on, they get help when between jobs or struggling with their mental health, and the workforce can have its voice heard. That's socialism. You know who's not a fan of socialism? Orpo's government, working tirelessly to rid Finland of these elements for the noble cause of *checks notes* endless financial growth at the expense of our healthcare and education systems, culture and environment.

C) "Socialism leads to communism which might lead to a violent authoritarian government". Okay, you know what, let's say that you're right. Even if this scenario was a risk, it would take a lot for it to happen - a lot of people would have to suddenly be cool about a lot of things, with Finnish voters completely switching gears to the point of having a communist President and Parliament. Which, y'know, isn't going to happen. We're a country full of racists and right-wingers, not to mention the never-dwindling popularity of centrism. By voting a proud socialist into Jyväskylä's city council, you most definitely will not be risking an involuntary trip to the gulags, no matter how badly the rhetoric of our right-wing parties wants you to think so. At the very best, you'll be shifting the debate to a miniscule degree, adding one "maybe we should try shaping our society in a more financially and socially equal fashion" voice to the political conversation in a country whose current direction is "f**k anything that doesn't make more money for those who already have money". Being worried about hypothetical far-left nightmare scenarios makes little sense in a place and time where the far right is an actual, very real and concrete threat. Voting for a candidate like Aaro is one of the many ways in which you can do your part for a collective pulling of the breaks.

6. Actual solutions

"There are more than two genders"

"Conversation about how girls can't be called girls and boys can't be called boys will just mess with the heads of children"

"You can't say anything anymore"

These are actual agree-or-disagree questions from the Vaalikone (a test on which candidates and parties you align with) from Iltalehti this year. This is largely because we, as a society, are letting the likes of the Perussuomalaiset party dictate the level of public debate. When Paco Diop, a Black teacher and politician, put out a critical and well-thought-out opinion piece about how the old board game Afrikan Tähti reflects imperialist and racist attitudes, the 'True Finns' made it about "Oh, the woke left wants to ban board games from kids now", and then that became the issue. When the Left Alliance, Greens and Social Democrats in parliament criticize cabinet ministers in Orpo's government for their multiple instances of slurs, hate speech, racist lies and inciting violence, they respond with "You can't say anything anymore!" and then that's the issue.

That's one of the things I like about Aaro and his campaign - basic principles like equal human rights aren't a goddamn yes-or-no question to him. The tenet that people should be treated with kindness and no one should be oppressed is an unquestioned fact of life to him, and he has been consistently critical of the dumbass culture wars where human rights are presented as a two-valid-sides argument. As a city councilman, I trust he'd do his part to shift the debate from this shitshow to a direction of talking about concrete steps - by educating ourselves and listening to the experiences of minorities, how do we start to tackle our systemic injustices? Racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, ableists and all the other deniers of systemic injustices do not need any more goddamn megaphones.

5. One of the politically sharpest people I know

I like to talk politics. So does Aaro. Having played in the same band for years, not to mention living together for a year and a half and just generally being close friends, we've talked a lot of politics over the years. On most things, we're in more or less complete agreement (I wouldn't sign up to be the campaign manager of just any random guy). Naturally, there have also been those times when we disagree - but even among all these, I have never once thought any less of his utterly sharp and poignant way of looking at politics. In fact, as someone who tries to keep an open mind and not be too sure of his own opinions, I'd estimate that no one else has made me reconsider my stance / change my mind on a political issue as often as Aaro (okay, maybe my fiancée Martta even slightly more, but it's a close call).

Aaro has the exact type of brain (and heart) that a good politician should have. A clear and well-reasoned moral compass, a strong sense of empathy and honest aim to make the world a better place, the ability to keep an open mind and challenge one's own thinking upon learning new information, a critical view on what media and sources to trust, and rhetorical skills so good that it's hard to imagine him losing a debate. This dude has some real wisdom to him, and that's what we need in our city council.

4. Unlike the current government and city council, Aaro cares about culture

I love my hometown, and a big part of why I love it is its culture - when you think of Jyväskylä, you think of events like Yläkaupungin Yö and Jyväskylän Kesä, accessible hobby opportunities like our amateur theaters (Teatterikone, Teatteri Eurooppa Neljä) and dance schools (Keski-Suomen Tanssikeskus, Jyväskylän Tanssiopisto), local music like the beloved children's orchestra Loiskis, and cultural centers like Villa Rana. They are what make Jyväskylä special; they are what make Jyväskylä Jyväskylä.

What if I told you that every one of the events, organizations and places I just mentioned are in immediate danger, all of them among the first names on the cutting list, as of the current city council's reckless decision to slash 400 000€ from Jyväskylä's culture?

If you wonder why the city needs to save that much money, the Kokoomus members of the city council have the answer locked and ready - times are tough, so we need to be saving up and cutting, although obviously we need to splurge myriads of euros to pay for the replacement of Kirkkopuisto with a massive parking garage complex, doing huge renovations on Lutakonaukio that we maybe didn't need in the first place, and complete the Hippos-hanke because having the fanciest and most expensive sports center in Finland is much more important than using our resources for basic, easily accessible sport hobbies for everyone.

Higher education students make up about one third of Jyväskylä's population. I know a lot of people who have graduated from JYU and stayed here, and I'm guessing that the diverse and accessible culture life of what is often called "Finland's Athens" has something to do with that. It is however very hard to imagine a situation where, with no more Yläkaupungin Yö, no more Jyväskylän Kesä, no more Villa Rana, no more amateur theaters, no more dance schools and no more Loiskis, someone with fresh master's papers will go "Gosh, I was gonna move to Helsinki, but now that we have this great new parking garage where Kirkkopuisto used to be, I think I'll stay in Jyväskylä after all!". Maintaining a city that people enjoy living in, and want to live in (or perhaps want to move to) is an important part of the city council's job, and one that the current council is failing miserably at - and there is no one I'd trust more to fight tooth and nail for our culture than Aaro.

3. Politics based on empathy

"Your compassion is a weakness"

"The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy"

"Empathy does not belong in politics"

The first quote is from supervillain Ra's al Ghul (Liam Neeson) in Batman Begins (2005). The second is from Elon Musk. The third is from our Deputy Prime Minister & Minister of Finance, Riikka Purra.

The reason I originally became interested in politics was the understanding that politics affect us all. The reason why I became obsessed with politics is that I followed enough news to see that groups of people are being treated inequally, being hurt and demonized, in both of my home countries, and a bunch of people seem to be scarily cool with that. The reason why I wanted to go into politics is, 100 per cent, empathy - I wanted to do my part in trying to make an unjust society more just, so that those that have less could have more. I also know that empathy is why Aaro went into politics - he has talked in great detail about how it's harder and harder to stay silent and not act when you see so much wrong in the world. That's why he's running. In a better world, one that I with my values would understand better than this fuckery we have, that would be the only reason anyone goes into politics. Why do you devote your life to public service, if you don't want to provide public service, if you openly admit that you don't care about the people you're supposed to be representing?

That's what I would like to ask Reichsfuhrër Purra if I got the chance. It's pretty spooky, really. If empathy doesn't have a place in politics, the forum where we decide on what kind of society we want to run for our people, then what the f**k are we even doing?

2. On a more personal note

I'd never vote for someone just because they're my friend, no matter how much I like them as a person. But I'm also not above voting for a candidate who I know personally, and I do believe that what you know about the candidate personally can make for an extra-reason why to vote for them, as long as you're sure you're not being biased and also stand behind the candidate on their political merits. Who a candidate is behind their political persona can say a lot about them as a politician - as proved by the countless politicians who preach 'family values' while having affairs and beating their wives, it's hard to tell who someone really is, and it helps if you know them.

Thankfully, I know Aaro really well, and in addition to him being a credible candidate and a potentially great public servant, he's also just one of the best people I've had the honor of knowing. This encompasses many things that don't necessarily make him a better politician but don't hurt either (a bizarre yet brilliant sense of humor, a kick-ass taste in music, an admirable passion for birdwatching), as well as many things that most definitely do make him a better politician (he treats people with kindness and respect, is a great conversationalist and listener, and a deep thinker).

If you're reading this blog post, I'm guessing that my opinion of things might mean at least a fragment of something to you - so trust me when I say that Aaro gets my full seal of approval. It helps that the image you get of him in his campaign is actually indistuingishable from his ordinary-life persona - in our very first campaign meeting, we agreed that crafting a separate 'public persona' for a candidate is f**king dumb, and a big part of why people don't trust politicians. With my candidate, what you see is what you get - let's get this guy into the city council!

1. The best time to start voting like you care about the planet was years ago - but the second-best time is now

Finnish people, regardless of political party, tend to claim great pride in our beautiful Finnish nature. Weirdly enough, it's only around thirteen per cent of the population that votes accordingly.

Every year, before every election, organizations like Luonnonsuojeluliitto share studies on how the platforms of different political parties would affect Finland's role in the escalating climate crisis, as well as Finnish nature. And every year, the message is clear: of the major political parties, the Left Alliance and the Greens are the only parties whose platform actually prioritizes the environment, and would commit to the kind of decision-making that would protect the environment more than ramp up the damage we're doing. The only ones. Once again, I'm begging to look at politicians' actions in addition to their words - Kokoomus candidates love to campaign on the flat-out lie of caring about the planet, but when you look at their track record while in office, there are no instances where they prioritize the environment over anything else (especially their precious principle of endless financial growth at the cost of the planet).

If you're a voter in Finland, and you like our majestic nature, and you're thinking of voting for a party other than Vasemmistoliitto or Vihreät - I beg of you, open your eyes. Talking nicely about the environment while pursuing destructive policies isn't going to save a single forest or species. Orpo's government is currently enacting policies that should have every nature-loving Finn on the barricades, such as the expansion of the peat industry to a degree that experts warn will lead to entire ecosystems being destroyed, countless species becoming extinct and gravely contributing to how quickly we run out of fresh water. While this pure evil can't obviously be reversed by municipal politics alone, we need to start voting like we care about the environment in all elections.

Many decisions in municipal politics are the kind that can be made in an ecological way or an anti-ecological way, and I can't fathom how most people are still on the side of the anti-ecological parties. As a planet we're at the point where people like myself are seriously considering that we never want to become parents, for the primary reason that we wouldn't want to bring a child into a world that is doomed when we could've taken action to save it. I'm pleading everyone reading this to vote with consciousness of what we're doing to our nature, and what we could do to start protecting it in our decision-making. Aaro is a candidate who, upon being elected, would always prioritize our nature and climate with any given situation. Yes, one individual city council member obviously won't save the planet, but we're starting to get the point where we can't afford any more politicians who don't give a shit, and need to start voting for ones that do.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for an ambitious ranking inspired by a recent Vulture article with a similar concept - the top 100 TV acting performances of all time.

Literature Month III: An unhinged ranking of every Lord of the Rings / Narnia / Dune / Dark Tower / A Song of Ice and Fire / Percy Jackson book

Greetings, reader!

The third edition of Literature Month continues with today's post: a ranking of every book from those book series that are dearest to me. I originally envisioned a ranking of the book series themselves, but my imagination got the better of me, and I decided that this would be much more fun. Below, I've ranked every book from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Frank Herbert's Dune saga, C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series, George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire franchise and Stephen King's Dark Tower epic. I chose these series because they are the dearest to me (well, there would be a seventh in terms of how much the books mean to me, but a certain someone-who-must-not-be-named still hasn't learned to say "I apologize for being a massive dick to the trans community and for actively hurting trans people and endangering their lives with my vile hate speech", so I don't really feel like praising her works - man, it's amazing how much respect someone can gain only to lose every ounce of it by being a massive bigot). Anyways, here goes!

P.S. - After a lot of consideration, I decided to limit the list to the 'main core' of each series, instead of going down the rabbit hole of spin-offs and other universe expansions. So, it's just the 3 LOTR books, 6 Dune books, 7 Narnia books, 5 Percy Jackson books, 5 ASOIAF books and 7 Dark Tower books. Maybe for Literature Month IV I'll do an expanded universe -version, with everything from the Silmarillion lore and Brian Herbert's Dune prequels to Martin's Westerosi histories and King's larger Dark Tower multiverse connections included.

33. The Silver Chair (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #4 / #6)

The two numbers for every Narnia entry are because of the two schools on reading orders - I myself read chronological (the 2nd number in each entry) as a kid, because we hade a rare edition where the seven books are numbered according to the fictional timeline, only to find out years later that the publication order (the 1st number) is generally more popular.

But yeah, The Silver Chair isn't great. It has its moments (even the worst books in these series are far from bad), but overall, meh. Eustace and Jill are alright as the heroes, but they most definitely fall short of the iconic Pevensie siblings that the reader was used to at this point, and the main villain plot feels a bit too recycled and rehashed.

32. The Sea of Monsters (Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson #2)

The second Percy Jackson book falls short of the first one in terms of quality. It starts out intriguing and the final moments are great, but it's everything in between that I take issue with - every Percy Jackson book consists largely of the main characters running into various Greek mythology characters and threats on their way to whatever the book's climax is, and this book somehow contained all the most boring instances of that trope. Not as fresh and addictive as the first but not as well-thought-out and high-stakes dramatic as the last three, this one falls into some awkward middle ground.

31. The Horse and His Boy (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #5 / #3)

I've warmed up to this one over the years. As a kid, it was more than a bit disorienting to follow such a completely different set of characters in a very different part of the Narnia universe than what I was used to. But as my taste in fantasy has evolved from those days, I've become such a worldbuilding geek that I now find it extremely cool how C.S. Lewis fleshes his fictional world out with a full-length sidequest like this one. It's a cool concept and it does make the 7-book franchise richer as a whole, but at the same time, I can't rank it especially high because the plot isn't all that memorable.

30. Heretics of Dune (Frank Herbert, Dune #5)

As I mentioned in last week's ranking of the Dune books, Heretics does introduce some cool new storylines and it ends in an utterly shocking manner. Everything else, however, is a bit average. Especially in the context of a ranking, Heretics suffers from the fact that most of the things it does well are things that the earlier Dune books did even better. I suppose Herbert was a bit past his prime in terms of creating new and imaginative sci-fi stories, themes and characters - can't blame him, as the first four Dune books are some of the most creative and innovative storytelling I've come across.

29. The Labyrinth Battle (Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson #4)

As the penultimate book of the series, The Labyrinth Battle is amazing. As an individual book - it's alright. The book suffers a bit from the same as The Sea of Monsters - not as badly, but the sidequests during the middle part of the plot do vary between 'okay, this one is awesome' and 'jeez, that was generic'. The setting and premise itself is very cool, and the book's biggest strength is indeed how well it works in the context and structure of the series as its second-last instalment. The final act feels bigger and more climactic than anything that came before, while still retaining a strong 'this is mere build-up for the real climax' feel.

28. Chapterhouse: Dune (Frank Herbert, Dune #6)

The last Dune book that Frank Herbert finished before passing away is an accidentally beautiful conclusion for the saga. Herbert had intended to continue the story, which is why the book ends in a massive cliffhanger - but even though I know it wasn't his intention, I swear that the Chapterhouse cliffhanger works outrageously well as a way to finish the series. The larger plotline had spanned thousands of years by this point, so ending with a conventional sense of closure would've felt a bit weird and against the saga's cyclical nature. Ending with the way Chapterhouse ends feels perfectly ambiguous, leaving the next steps to the reader's imagination.

27. A Feast for Crows (George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire #4)

I have a huge love/hate relationship with the two latest ASOIAF books finished by George R.R. Martin, and especially with this one. On one hand, I'm frustrated with Martin's addition of more and more subplots without moving towards conclusion, and this feeling grows every year that us fans spend waiting for Winds of Winter (I still don't get how the "I hate the final seasons of Game of Thrones" crowd never takes it out on the author - the show would've benefitted from adapting a book series that has wrapped up, instead of being forced to make shit up because Martin is taking 14+ years to figure how to tie it all together). The subplots from A Feast for Crows onwards are too numerous, and I do think that the endless creation of such storylines is why Martin has found himself cornered and with no clear way to bring it all across the finish line.

On the other hand, as a fan of creative and out-there storytelling, I definitely have a side that appreciates the unconventional story direction here. After three books of following the Starks, King's Landing, Daenerys across the sea and a few other plotlines, we're suddenly thrust fully into the realm of the obscure - Aeron Greyjoy observing power plays on the Iron Islands, Arianne Martell planning a coup in Dorne, and Brienne's video-game-esque plot of following clues to weird-ass locations like The Whispers with weird-ass characters like Dick Crabb (no, really, there's a dude called Dick Crabb in this book), you name it. So, even if it ended up hurting the series as a whole, A Feast for Crows still makes for an excellent read when wanting to dive deep into the world of the Seven Kingdoms.

26. The Curse of the Titans (Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson #3)

I have a massive soft spot for the third Percy Jackson book. The main premise and final act aren't even all that special, and among the weakest of their kind in the series - but the middle parts, for which I criticized the second and fourth books in the series, are pure fire in this one. The obstacles and scenarios in which the main heroes find themselves are neat and inventive, and Riordan's insertion of deep cuts from ancient Greek lore into his fantasy plot is at its best. The element I remember with the most fondness is the addition of fantastic characters Bianca and Nico di Angelo, and the atmosphere created by the mysteries and eventual twists relating to their backstory.

25. The Last Battle (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #7 / #7)

The only Narnia book where the number in the chronological order corresponds with that of the publication order is the very last one. It's a book that gets better as you read it - it starts out a bit silly and doesn't feel all that epic for the final instalment, but as the plot progresses, Lewis provides more and more high fantasy epicness and nostalgic connections to storylines throughout the series, thus pulling off a conclusion that is so much better than you'd expect based on the first 100 pages or so. When all is said and done, The Last Battle is a great ending for the Chronicles of Narnia - a flawed book, but one where the positives do outweigh the negatives.

24. The Magician's Nephew (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #6 / #1)

It's so weird for me to think that a majority of Narnia fans didn't start with this book, but rather see it as a late-addition prequel, because for me, this will always be the one that started it all (I actually have a faint recollection of my Dad reading this book for me, which means that Narnia has been with me for an insanely long time, because I learned to read for myself at a very young age). But, yeah, The Magician's Nephew is a fresh and magical fantasy adventure, filled with cool concepts (the Wood Between the Worlds? Perfection.) and dramatic introductions to iconic characters like Aslan and Jadis.

23. A Game of Thrones (George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire #1)

Yeah, we're really starting to get to the good stuff here. The first A Song of Ice and Fire book doesn't exactly have growing pains in the way that many first instalments do, but when comparing it to later instalments, one can't escape the feeling that the series does improve a great deal throughout the second and third book. Still, A Game of Thrones is a brilliant introduction to the world of Westeros - the POV storytelling works like a charm, the intricate worldbuilding and the combination of brutally dark themes with magical fantasy lore is great right off the bat, and it makes sense that one of the greatest TV shows of all time was adapted from this.

22. The Wolves of the Calla (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #5)

This list has burned through one third of the Dune books, nearly half of the ASOIAF books, and over half of both the Narnia and Percy Jackson series - and only now are we getting to the worst book of Stephen King's Dark Tower series. That's how good King is.

Yeah, The Wolves of the Calla is a bit underwhelming on the sky-high standard of the Dark Tower series, mainly because of its length. All of the other Dark Tower books are paced just right, with some being long because they need to be, while others are much shorter because they don't call for 600+ pages - but the fifth instalment is an outlier, as it is over 800 pages long while it really doesn't have a reason to be, as a lot could've been cut. However, in the standard of overall fantasy literature and the 6 different series compared in today's post, I'm still ranking the book this high despite its pacing flaws - the western-ish setting is cool as hell, the connections to other books in King's multiverse are epic, and the book's very last pages are some of the most breathtaking, ingeniously shocking and utterly mind-blowing literature I've read. The series is so solid that its worst instalment has its arguably best individual moment.

21. A Dance with Dragons (George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire #5)

The latest A Song of Ice and Fire book to be released was a tough one to rank - the negatives and positives alike are many, making for a chaotic mess as a whole. On one hand, the problem of obscure subplots is even more evident here than in A Feast for Crows - I could do without Jon Connington fostering the kid who may or may not be a fake Aegon Targaryen, or following Quentyn Martell for several chapters only for his red-herring quest to blow up in dragonfire. But at the same time, I have to admit that at its best, A Dance with Dragons is peak fantasy literature, and it would be my favorite ASOIAF book if I were judging based on positives alone.

I mean, the book gave us the chills-down-your-spine 'The North remembers' moment between Davos Seaworth and Wyman Manderly, the series' best Jon Snow storyline culminating in his perfectly built final chapter, and the hands-down best chapter George R. R. Martin ever wrote - Theon's against-all-odds moment of redemption, that had me crying from the very moment I saw that the chapter's title was 'Theon' and not 'Reek'.

20. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #3 / #5)

Ah, this is vintage Narnia right here. Many of the saga's most iconic characters, a zany and adventurous plot, cool sea monsters and exciting fantasy concepts and a bittersweet ending, it's all there in a light and compact package.

19. The Last Olympian (Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson #5)

The final Percy Jackson instalment is everything a franchise finale should be, and I'd probably rank it even higher if it wasn't for the fact that the series as a whole isn't as special to me as many of the others on today's list, so all the nostalgia and closure doesn't hit quite as hard here as it would in a series I was even more invested in. But yeah, it's the right ending for the series on pretty much all fronts - the stakes are higher than ever before, it feels like a dramatic last stand from the very first chapter, the climax is properly epic and the major characters are written out in a semi-poetic manner.

18. The Gunslinger (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #1)

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed". Has any book series ever kicked off with a more cold opening line?

No, say I. The rest of the first Dark Tower instalment is pretty great as well, as unconventional of an opening chapter it is. The combination of steampunk, western and sci-fi elements makes for a unique atmosphere, and I absolutely love how much of a surface-scratcher The Gunslinger is for the Dark Tower mythos. Some fans dislike the book because it's so simple and small-scale in contrast to what the series would grow into, and while I kind of see the point (after all, I also rank it 6th out of the 7 Dark Tower books), I also love that part of the book's nature in its own way (thus the fact that even the second-worst Dark Tower book is at 18th place in this ranking). The Gunslinger leaves the reader with unbridled curiosity, tons of questions, and a hunger for more, which makes the broader worldbuilding of the later books a massive payoff. Starting off such a larger-than-life epic with such a mysterious and small-scale instalment was an act of unconventional genius on King's part.

17. A Clash of Kings (George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire #2)

As excellent as the first ASOIAF book is, the second one is a grand improvement. The plotlines are more engaging by average, the character development is more layered, and the addition of new storylines is such a highlight - the two new POV characters make for the book's two hands-down best storylines, with Theon Greyjoy's gripping betrayal arch and Davos Seaworth's conflicting observations of the leadership of the morally grey Stannis Baratheon.

The book's climax is the Battle of Blackwater Bay, and if you've seen Game of Thrones but haven'ts read the books, trust me when I say that it's even better in the original. With five consecutive chapters from the POV's of three characters who experience very different sides of the battle, it's such a rush to read. Also, the book's final chapter (Bran leaving Winterfell) is some of Martin's very best work.

16. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #1 / #2)

Whether you see it as the very first Narnia book (as a vast majority of fantasy geeks do), or as the second instalment (me and my fellow chronological-order enjoyers), I think we can all agree that The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is the most Narnia book. All of the series' themes and tropes are so delightfully present, and the plot is the stuff of legends. From the vibrant supporting characters to the iconic character archs like Edmund's villainous turn and Lucy finding her courage, from settings like the castle of Cair Paravel and the Stone Table to events like the battle at the Ford of Beruna, it's no wonder why this is generally considered the best Narnia book (although my personal ranking puts one instalment slightly ahead of it - more on that later).

15. Song of Susannah (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #6)

Ah, yes. I don't even know how Song of Susannah would read as an individual book, nor do I care - as an instalment in the Dark Tower series as a whole, it is near perfection. Stephen King suffered a near-death incident in 1999, which had a major impact on the series: he had written the five first books with no clear or specific endgame in mind, with the scale of the series growing and growing, and he credits the incident and his post-survival reflection with the fact that he finally decided it was time to wrap things up.

King came up with an endgame fitting the series, and wrote the two last books with that clearly in mind, and that shows - in comparison to the previous books, Song of Susannah has such a clear drive, a tangible atmosphere of going towards something specific, and the fast pace and shifting between storylines fits that with aplomb. Also, the plot isn't just fast and focused, but also very compelling and exciting, with especially the opinion-splitting meta element being something that I for one enjoyed immensely. Oh, and that cliffhanger ending? Just the right note to end the penultimate instalment on.

14. Prince Caspian (C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia #2 / #4)

Yes, one of the hotter takes on today's list is that The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, in all its greatness, is in fact not the greatest Narnia book. I know, I know - as far as popular opinion is concerned, this is akin to claiming that Appetite for Destruction isn't the best Guns N' Roses album or that Do the Right Thing isn't the best Spike Lee joint. But yeah, when all is said and done, it's a close call - but Prince Caspian hits even harder for me.

There are so many little details that I absolutely love about Prince Caspian - the fascinating way in which we return to the lives of the Pevensie kids, the unconventional but adventurous pacing choice of having them arrive in a weird part of Narnia where they explore amongst themselves for quite a while before running into others, the addition of integral characters like Caspian and Reepicheep, the list goes on. For me, it's the most magical and memorable instalment out of the bunch.

13. God Emperor of Dune (Frank Herbert, Dune #4)

The fourth Dune book is one of the strangest, trippiest books you'll ever read. Taking place after a 3500-year time jump from where the previous book left off, God Emperor consists largely of philosophical dialogues and trains of thought between the main characters, and it goes on some levels. At times, it'll be many pages in a row where nothing happens, but a character stops mid-conversation to consider what to say next, pondering the implications and agendas and plans within plans of every little detail. It's a unique and mind-bending reading experience.

12. A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire #3)

Aww yiss, this is the crown jewel of the ASOIAF series (at least so far - who's to say how good The Winds of Winter is when a cryo-frozen George R. R. Martin finishes the job in the 32nd century?). Every POV character has a banging storyline, with a special shout-out to Jaime Lannister's gradual redemption arch, the chain of events with the Red and Purple Wedding in close proximity, and the masterfully written final chapter that starts with a sentimental Sansa Stark building Winterfell out of snow and ends with a thrilling, game-changing shift in Westerosi power dynamics.

11. Dune Messiah (Frank Herbert, Dune #2)

The second Dune book will be adapted into a Denis Villeneuve film next year, and I am PSYCHED! Messiah is a narratively fascinating piece of literature, especially in how it creates a unique balance between small-scale and large-scale storytelling. On one hand, it's the most intimate and small-scale Dune book, as the settings are limited, the major characters are few, and this makes the end result feel almost like a play. But on the other hand, the underlying geopolitical situation of the fictional universe and the power wielded by the major characters makes for a constant sense that whatever happens in this drama between individual characters will end up affecting the lives of billions and billions. Truly brilliant storytelling.

10. The Lightning Thief (Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson #1)

The first Percy Jackson book will always have a special place in my heart. I remember burning through it in the span of two days, while at our family's summer cabin, at the age of 10 or 11 years. It was one of the most engaging, page-turning and downright addictive reading experiences of my life. Riordan's creative plot immersed me so fully that I just couldn't put the book down, and making my way through it remains one of my fondest reading memories.

9. The Fellowship of the Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings #1)

Yeah, all three Lord of the Rings books made it into the top 10, because of course they did. That's how good Mr. Tolkien's unparalleled legacy is. While my ranking of the LOTR movies goes (from worst to best) 2-1-3, the books are different, as I've always ranked the first instalments of the all-time great trilogy just slightly below the other two. The reasons for this are mere nitpicking when looking at the big picture of the trilogy's greatness in comparison to a vast majority of literature, but still quite significant when comparing these three books to each other.

Mainly it's about the many consecutive chapters of sidequests that have no impact on the larger plot in the book's first half - don't get me wrong, they're not bad and actually quite fascinating fantasy adventure content, but they're easily the least epic and memorable part of the trilogy, which is why it makes sense that the Old Forest, Tom Bombadil and the Barrow-Wights were all cut from the movies. From thereon out, the rest of Fellowship is gold.

8. Children of Dune (Frank Herbert, Dune #3)

As I described with more detail in last week's Dune post, the third Dune book isn't the series at its deepest, but it gains massive points from readers like myself due to how insanely engaging the plot is. Very few books are as hard to put down as this one - every new plotline, every story direction, feels creative, fascinating and exciting, causing constant amazement at how Frank Herbert managed to take all of his narratives into the absolutely most interesting possible direction for this book. It's an epic and thrilling ride, and I hope Villeneuve changes his mind on stopping after Messiah because I'd pay good money to see what he'd do with a Children of Dune movie adaptation.

7. The Dark Tower (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #7)

Literature's equivalent of the overtime and penalty shoot-out in a World Cup final, or a band playing the final show of a the world tour for their final album, is quite challenging to rate as an individual book, because the tons of tons of context one needs is inherent to it. You should ready The Dark Tower only after you've read not only the first six books of the series, but also the myriads of other King books that tie in to his multiverse (Insomnia, Hearts in Atlantis and 'Salem's Lot are the most essential, but I really recommend The Stand and It as well if you happen to have aeons of time on your hands), because this is where it all comes together, and to a conclusion, in what is probably the most climactic book you'll ever read.

The reason for this being only seventh on today's list and not higher is that when all is said and done, the Dark Tower mythos is even more about the journey than the destination (although it's quite heavily about both). But, yeah, after thousands and thousands of pages of build-up, King does stick the landing. The way it all culminates is shocking, even downright outrageous, but it's the right ending.

6. Wizard and Glass (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #4)

The fourth instalment in the Dark Tower series is a delightfully out-of-the-box one: after three books where the complex backstory of protagonist Roland Deschain is only hinted at with cryptic fragments, instalment #4 spends only a tiny amount of time advancing the present-day story, devoting most of its 800+ page length to flashbacks as we finally learn how Roland's journey started. It's a risky idea on paper, but it works - even if you remove the larger context of the series, Wizard and Glass works wonders as a heart-wrenching love story with imaginative worldbuilding and a vibe of its own. When juxtaposed with the context of the Dark Tower multiverse and knowing where Roland's story would end up heading, the heartbreak increases tenfold, and the book becomes the stuff of legends.

5. Dune (Frank Herbert, Dune #1)

Ah, the original Dune is the shit. In what is arguably the greatest science fiction book of all time, Frank Herbert accomplishes many things without the end result feeling too stuffed: the reader is treated to an intriguing future setting with intricate worldbuilding, an entertaining tale of adventure with fascinating characters, a politically charged piece of art with strong themes critiquing colonialism and the destruction of the environment, and a game-changing twist on archetypical heroic tales with its unique, subversive protagonist. As good as the sequels are (especially book #2 - #4), they owe much of their excellence to the fact that the first book gave a world of storytelling potential with its blast of creativity and intrigue.

4. The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings #2)

Pretty much everything that Tolkien did well with the first LOTR is improved even further in the second one. One of the many things that I love about The Two Towers is how the narrative is split: especially for first-time reader, it's such a brilliant hook for one's attention that the entire first half gives no answers on how Frodo and the Ring are doing, as we follow only the other major storylines, and then the second half is devoted only to Frodo, Sam and Gollum's journey during the same timeframe.

If The Fellowship of the Ring was only at ninth place because some of its chapters are only 7/10 or 8/10 in all their brilliance, The Two Towers makes a strong case for all of its chapters deserving a 9/10 or more. There's nothing extra of unnecessary, and Tolkien is just so good at maintaining the reader's fascination with exciting new settings, beautifully worded descriptions of various locations and fantasy concepts, and the general epicness of the story.

3. The Waste Lands (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #3)

One of the many, many reasons to love the Dark Tower series is that it's not just a series of instalments, but a collection of seven unique books, each with their own vivid atmosphere and distinctive personality that sets them apart. The Gunslinger is great because it's a steampunk-western mystery in addition to being an instalment in a franchise, while Wizard and Glass works as well as a deeply romantic and charmingly slow-paced character-driven work as it does as the fourth chapter in the series, while The Wolves of the Calla has the whole Seven Samurai -thing going on for it, et cetera.

As for The Waste Lands, I'd describe the book's specific identity as "King goes full Tolkien" - The Lord of the Rings was one of the many major influences on King when writing the series, and the third book is where it especially shows. After the first book gave us numerous questions and no answers, and the second book was so focused on its intense, rapid-pace story that there wasn't much time for worldbuilding, this is where we finally get some room to breathe and explore. For the first time, we learn in detail about how the worlds-within-worlds setting of the story works, and what Roland's quest for the mythical Dark Tower is all about. While there is a coherent plot (and a damn good one at that), a lot of time is reserved for exploring the hell out of the utterly fascinating fictional landscape that King created.

The Waste Lands is filled with imaginative settings, complex heroes and fleshed-out villains, tense escapes and moving reunions, and elements of genres from horror and adventure to science fiction and high fantasy. The plot is all over the place in the best possible way, with every development keeping the reader hooked and begging for more - the book starts with a giant bear (no, really) and ends with a cliffhanger that will make your heart race.

2. The Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings #3)

Oh yeah, this is the stuff. It all culminates in The Return of the King, a properly epic conclusion to the greatest trilogy of all time. Tolkien's dramatic balance of despair and hope in his signature stories-that-really-mattered style is at its very best here: the stakes are incredibly high, the situation looks bleak as hell, but the heroic loyalty, devotion and fellowship of the main characters pulls through, and all of the payoffs feel incredibly earned due to how dramatic and hopeless things looked for a while there. The book is deeply emotional, fantastically adventurous and a truly grand piece of literature that has stood the test of time. You couldn't make the arguably greatest movie of all time from a lesser book than this.

1. The Drawing of the Three (Stephen King, The Dark Tower #2)

When all is said and done, I had to go with the second Dark Tower book. It may be less groundbreaking than Dune and less multifaceted than The Return of the King, but it works with such perfection as the specific kind of book that it's supposed to be, that nothing can really beat how great it is in its own category. You see, when I mentioned that The Lightning Thief and Children of Dune are among the most addictive page-turners I've read, there's a reason I couldn't use a superlative - and that reason is this adrenaline-fueled, insanely paced, high-pressure masterpiece.

Out of all the books I've ever picked up, The Drawing of the Three was the hands-down hardest to put down. The very way in which the story picks up creates a pressing and dramatic high-stakes scenario, and from thereon out, King is at his most relentless as the plot doesn't give you room to breathe even a little. It's a stressful book to read, but in the best way possible - you just have to know what happens next, feeling a constant sense of danger and excitement. You have to experience it for yourself to believe it - preferably while over-caffeinated and in as few days as possible. King immerses the reader into a mindset where shit is just constantly going down and about to go down and you're in a fuck-awful seeing-red rush to get to the next place before it's too late, culminating in an end result that is probably the most thrilling book I will ever read.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I continue Literature Month III with a ranking of my top 10 all-time favorite poets.

Literature Month III: Ranking the Dune books

Greetings, reader!

For the third time, I'm doing a theme month about literature, because I moonlight as a massive bookworm when having time off from being a massive movie/TV nerd, so I have a lot to say about these subjects as well. I'm kicking off Literature Month III with a ranking of the books in Frank Herbert's Dune franchise. I originally wanted to read all of the prequels, pre-prequels, interquels, paraquels, pseudo-sequels, fictional histories and semicanon comics completed by Herbert's son Brian after his death, but after reading the first few, I realized it just wasn't worth it even for my completist nature (The Butlerian Jihad was conceptually interesting, but making it over 700 pages long is borderline criminal). Anyways, the six Dune books that were finished by Frank Herbert in his lifetime are awesome, so here's my ranking!

Note to readers: for each book, I've written one spoiler-free paragraph so that those who haven't read the books, but are considering it and want to hear my take, can do so without being spoiled. And then another spoiler-containing paragraph for those who have read the books and want to hear my take in full detail. I hope you enjoy!

(Also, for those interested: I got 14 out 23 correct in my Oscar predictions! Not my best score, but not my worst either. At least I got the Sharknado bet right once again).

6. Heretics of Dune (1984)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: None of the six original Dune books are bad, so even Heretics has its strengths and is most definitely worthwhile for readers like myself who really want to dive deep. But, yeah, it has its reasons for being ranked last. While I admire Herbert's way of imagining new story directions up until the end, it must be said that he had used up his most genius and groundbreaking ideas in the first four books, all of which are wildly different from each other, so Heretics is the first one to feel a bit repetitive. Yes, it takes place after yet another huge time jump, but the themes of the franchise start to feel a bit recycled, and the new characters aren't as interesting and fleshed out as the major characters in the earlier instalments.

SPOILERS: Yeah, the jumbling between plotlines is a bit messy here, and the "woah, we've jumped THOUSANDS OF YEARS into the future to follow a totally reshaped world order" narrative doesn't hit as hard as it did the first time. Still, there's plenty to enjoy - the stuff with the Honoured Matres is cool, Duncan Idaho continues to be as iconic as he is unlikely in the role of the saga's true protagonist, and hats off for that ballsy ending - I didn't expect to be shocked when this familiar with the saga, yet the destruction of the planet formerly known as Arrakis/Dune caught me truly off guard.

5. Chapterhouse: Dune (1985)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: Most fans seem to rank the fifth and sixth books below the first four in solidarity, yet the order between the two varies (and from what I've gathered, preferring Heretics over Chapterhouse is a bit more common, so I'm in the slight minority here). Largely, the books share both strengths and weaknesses, but I found the story a bit more engaging here - many things that were set up in a convoluted manner in Heretics really come together here. I also like Chapterhouse as an ending for the saga - yes, it wasn't meant to be the final one as Herbert intended to do a follow-up but passed away before completing it, but even if it's by accident, I think this closes the larger story in an unconventional yet poetic manner.

SPOILERS: So, yeah, how about that ending! While I recognize that Herbert intended it as an obvious cliffhanger, it's weird and uncanny how well it works as an unintentional but brilliant ambiguous ending for the whole saga. The Dune universe had undergone so much shocking change during its milennia-spanning plot, that a conventional wrap-up conclusion would've felt tacky and wrong. Having the Bene Gesserit survivors lose a key battle and escape, with Sheeana and Duncan with them, is an open-ended note with just the right amount of hope, while playing into the cyclical nature of the saga's narrative and themes.

Also, I can't for the life of me figure out what I think of the subplot with Space Israel and the new sci-fi Jewish diaspora. Frank Herbert is one of my all-time favorite authors, but he was a bit far out there near the end.

4. God Emperor of Dune (1981)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: Oh man, I'd like to rank the polarizing cult-classic fourth book even higher, but it just doesn't quite stack up as a whole when compared to the original three, despite being in a class of its own when it comes to the psychedelic, ultra-creative "how does a human mind even come up with this" side of the franchise. Yes, from the setting of the story (I won't spoil how many years after the previous book this one picks up on, but no matter what you guess, I reckon it's more), through its central character (I can't spoil that one either as the character's very existence has a lot to do with major events from earlier books), to the framework of the narrative (like 90 per cent of the book is just characters having philosophical dialogues with each other), this book really goes on some levels. It's one of the trippiest books I've ever read, and a brilliant way to keep the saga going.

SPOILERS: If you know, you know. What other author would end his trilogy with the original protagonist's son evolving into some sort of Lovecraftian worm-God-man hybrid, thus setting up a sequel where thousands of years have passed and the structure of the fictional universe is entirely changed, only for said worm-God-man hybrid to still be vibing around? Also, Siona Atreides is the last truly great character that Herbert came up with. Also, the dialogue where Moneo tells the Duncan Idaho ghola that he is the descendant of a different Duncan Idaho ghola is one of the most mind-bending moments in all science fiction. Hats off.

3. Dune Messiah (1969)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: The second-ever Dune book, which will be adapted into a Denis Villeneuve movie in 2026 (GET HYPE!), is a great one. I know that many fans would rank it second or even first, and I think that me being just slightly less enthusiastic about Messiah in my ranking has to do with something I'll go further into in the spoiler paragraph- basically, I think that the themes for which the second book is praised the most are already present in the first book albeit more subtly, and for me the gap between reading the books was so long that I had already reflected on those themes to a point of major appreciation before reading Messiah, so there wasn't all that much new and mind-blowing thematically here. That being said, it's just a fantastic book - I love how the events are so small-scale yet so large-scale at once, as we follow a limited group of characters in limited settings to the point of almost feeling like a play, yet with the knowledge that what they end up deciding and doing will impact the lives of billions and billions in the Dune universe.

SPOILERS: Yeah, the thing I was referring to was the whole "Inversion of the archetypical hero trope" theme. I've read a lot of Dune rankings that put Messiah first, and a common theme in them appears to be that the reader more or less saw the first book as a heroic tale, in which case Messiah did all the heavy lifting for the dark twist of Paul Atreides' ultimate nature and legacy and the pitfalls of the charismatic leader. I can see why that would hit so hard. I had read Dune twice (and with years to reflect and analyze in between) before reading Messiah, so my appreciation for the between-the-lines antihero themes in the first book already was so high that it hit slightly less hard when the same things are spelled out further in Messiah.

2. Children of Dune (1976)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: The third Dune book is f**king amazing and severely underrated. While it may not be as revolutionary as Dune, as deep-dialogue genius as Dune Messiah or as philosophically trippy as God Emperor of Dune, it works on a level that really works for a reader like myself - namely, the plot is utterly, insanely addictive. Everything that happens, every new plotline, every new story direction, every new bit of worldbuilding, makes for endless fascination, making Children of Dune one of the most adrenaline-rush page-turners I've read.

SPOILERS: Princess Wensicia's plot to assassinate Paul's children and install Farad'n as a new leader? Brilliant. Alia going crazy as the late Baron Harkonnen gets to her consciousness? Give me more. The sightings of the mysterious Prophet who may or may not be a somehow-somewhat-alive Paul Atreides? Chills and thrills. Leto faking his death and traveling to the mythical Jacurutu to realize his destiny? Some of the best and most intriguing science fiction out there.

1. Dune (1965)

WITHOUT SPOILERS: Yeah, I had to be basic and put the original at first place. While there are individual aspects that books #2, #3 and #4 do even better than the first, and a part of me would like to put Children of Dune in first place, there's just no getting around the fact that this book, as a whole, is just such a well-rounded masterpiece. It's the crown jewel of science fiction literature, and a huge part of why the later books work so well is that Dune provided them with 10/10 compelling worldbuilding, introducing us to a fictional universe filled to the brim with creative concepts, exciting locations and complex power dynamics.

SPOILERS: The banquet sequence, where we follow a group of characters, all of whom have their own agendas and agendas within agendas, subtly trying to outsmart each other in veiled and layered dialogue, with no one saying what they really mean but rather everyone playing their own game, is some of my all-time favorite literature. The water merchant, the smuggler, the banker who may or may not be a spy, Kynes with his plan to reshape the planet's ecosystems, it's all so good. Everything else as well.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I continue Literature Month III with a ranking of all the 33 instalments in all of the 6 book series I count as all-time favorites: The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Dune, The Dark Tower, A Song of Ice an Fire and Percy Jackson.