Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies

Greetings, reader!

The idea for this post came from my friend Julius - the actual term used in the suggestion for this list was the Finnish term "Hömppä leffa", and I had trouble coming up with an exact translation - I suppose "Top 10 best bad movies", or maybe "Top 10 guilty pleasure movies", does the trick. Basically, the idea is that these are movies that aren't very good by any conventional metrics, but that I enjoy watching nonetheless. High on entertainment value, low on cinematic value. Since it's difficult to completely separate my subjective opinions from how well-made a movie is, as the two often go somewhat hand in hand, I lent a hand from popular opinion: a movie has to have less than 6.5 on IMDB in order to qualify. Let's get started!

Here are my honorable mentions: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Godzilla Raids Again (1955), Jurassic Park III (2001), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006).

10. Snakes on a Plane (2006)

"Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Snakes on a Plane is not only the title of this cult classic, but very much a thorough synopsis of the film's plot in all its complexity. The depth of the movie begins and ends with "Samuel Jackson is on a plane that has a bunch of snakes on it", and that's about all it needs. The horror element isn't really scary, the survival element never feels all that intense, and the characters are very one-dimensional, but hey, what would you expect from a film carrying this title? Sam Jackson is entertaining as always, and the film's attempted serious parts make for good unintended comedy. The highlight of this film is the legendary line quoted above, as that alone makes this b-class thriller very much worth watching.

9. Fantastic Four (2005)

"Flame on!"

A relic from the time when superhero movies, for better or for worse, didn't try half as hard as they to today. Fantastic Four is no The Dark Knight (2008) nor an Iron Man (2008) - in fact, it's not even an Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) to be honest - but it's weirdly fun when not taken seriously at all. What separates this film from its much, much less enjoyable sequel is the fact that beneath all of the clichés and laziness, this movie has heart. As much as it relies on unoriginal tropes in its story and dialogue, Fantastic Four wins you over by making its characters likable (if extremely one-dimensional) and having some awesome fist-pump-worthy moments.

The main villain, Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon), is a perfect compilation of every supervillain cliché in the book. Following our cheesy group of heroes going up against him is a delight, especially in the climactic fight sequence - you'll roll your eyes but simultaneously smile at just how many times the film can repeat the "everyone is about to die until one of the heroes swoops in dramatically to save everyone at the last second" rigamarole in one long action sequence.

8. Terminator Genisys (2015)

"I'm not a man, not a machine...I'm more!"

The first two Terminator films are class cinema. The third one, while flawed, isn't quite cruddy enough to qualify for this list, whereas the fourth one is too bad for this list as there is no real pleasure to watching it. But the fifth one? Right in the sweet spot.

The plot of Terminator Genisys twists and turns the franchise's convoluted time travel element so much that nothing makes sense anymore, but the results are fun to watch. Director Alan Taylor does a decent job with the big-budget action sequences, and having Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the title role is a blast. Awesome actors like Emilia Clarke and Jason Clarke (oddly enough not related, even though they share a last name and play mother and son in the film) star along with Arnold, and while they're far from their A-game, they still bring an entertaining presence to the film. All in all, I find Genisys to be a thrilling action flick devoid of any real logic in its story.

7. American Pie Presents: Girls' Rules (2020)

First off, nothing against all-female reboots. I was scared that I was being unknowingly sexist when I didn't like the gender-reversed Ghostbusters (2016) one bit, but I got a sigh of relief when I watched Ocean's Eight (2018), loved it, and therefore realized that the Ghostbusters remake was just a terrible film. When I found out about a new, female-lead American Pie spinoff, I was excited to see it and wasn't disappointed. Mind you, Girls' Rules is definitely the sort of D-class cinema that all the American Pie spinoffs belong to - but it's entertaining and fun as hell.

The plot isn't thought through very well, many of the jokes are extremely lazy, and every cliché in the high-school-party-movie book can be found. There are even elements that should piss off any fan of the franchise, as classic soundtrack pieces like James's Laid as well as the character Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy) are woefully omitted - but at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. This movie does what this movie does and the end result is a bunch of fun. Even if it doesn't feature many of the concrete elements that unify the rest of the American Pie films, it very much dwells in the same spirit of youthful partying and sex-comedy shenanigans. Don't take it too seriously, and you'll find yourself enjoying this film way more than most of the spinoffs (even if it pales in comparison to the films with the original cast).

6. The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

"Mm. Well, I'm sorry"

"No, don't be. He turned out to be, as the kids say, a real douche"

"I see. Well, umm, while you fetch the douche's garments, might I inquire as to a tub and a cauldron so that I can boil some water for a bath?"

Really, I could've included any number of Netflix original Christmas movies on this list. But if I have to choose one to represent these guilty-pleasure films of the milk-and-cookies variety, it has to be the silly and charming The Knight Before Christmas. The film is unapologetically filled with rom-com and holiday movie clichés, with its time travel aspect helping it stick out from the midst of tens and tens of otherwise completely similar movies.

As much as I would like to laugh at the film's tropes and less-than-flattering dialogue, at the end of the day I'm enough of a romantic (and enough of a Christmas person) that the feel-good aspect of such films have a stronger impact than their generic writing and hasty production value. Not a stone-cold Christmas classic, but quite a perfect film to put on the background on Christmas Day if you're too tired to use your brain capacity for anything more substantial.

5. Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

"Dude, that goalie was pissed about something"

It's ridiculous. It's way over the top. It's filled with cringe-worthy dialogue and gory violence. So, yeah, I'd say the crossover between classic slasher franchises Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday The 13th is everything people were expecting and everything I wanted it to be. If you feel like conventional quality cinema with sharp production values and sense-making writing, then maybe don't watch Freddy Vs. Jason. But if you like slasher films, ambitious crossovers and sheer entertainment, this makes for the perfect turn-off-your-brain Friday night viewing.

The first half of the film focuses on bringing the two iconic villains together as they team up to kill a bunch of teenagers together. Then, they turn against each other, which only ups the ante on the film's immense entertainment value as their lengthy fight sequence is absolutely thrilling. The dynamic between the two title characters is bizarre but oddly great, as the contrast between Freddy Krueger with his constant zingers and Jason Voorhees who hasn't spoken a word in 12 movies is quite illuminating. It's all good fun when not taken one bit seriously!

4. The World is Not Enough (1999)

"I thought Christmas only comes once a year"

It was simply inevitable that a James Bond film would end up on this list - a huge portion of the franchise falls more or less into the "guilty pleasure" category. Of course, the best Bond movies were out of the question as there is nothing guilty about enjoying Goldeneye (1995) or Casino Royale (2006), but I also had to count out the worst ones, as there is no real pleasure to watching the likes of Moonraker (1979) or Die Another Day (2002). After a lot of deliberation, I came to the result that Pierce Brosnan's third 007 outing The World is Not Enough has the franchise's best guilty-to-pleasure ratio.

With its over-the-top chase sequences and recycled Bond movie tropes, this flick definitely isn't good enough to be taken seriously. But, with its mildly-well-directed action sequences and Pierce Brosnan charm, it isn't a drag to watch either. The World is Not Enough is in many ways one of the most tongue-in-cheek Bond films, as the filmmakers were so self-aware of the franchise's occasional absurdity that they started to veer on the edge of self-parody. The best example of this (and of the film's overall reasons to be on today's list) is the film's secondary Bond girl - a skimpy-clothed nuclear scientist, played by supermodel Denise Richards, named Dr. Christmas Jones. What a franchise.

3. 2012 (2009)

"What is that?"

"The state of Hawaii"

"That's not good"

There's something strangely cathartic about watching this apocalypse thriller. For an end-of-the-world film, it's not realistic or dark enough to feel as depressing and haunting as a well-made end-of-the-world film would. The one cinematic aspect that the film nails, however, is its visual effects, and thus its apocalypse looks startlingly real while not feeling real, as the viewer is awed by the grand-scale imagery of buildings and land areas collapsing all around. As wrong as this sounds, 2012 makes for a film where one can just sit back and enjoy as everything falls apart and the main characters struggle to survive.

It's not like there should be any pleasure in watching such things, but again, I must stress the fact that the movie simply isn't good enough to feel serious and therefore intense. The film's poor writing makes the dramatic stakes feel non-existent, and therefore it is oddly entertaining to watch the visually impressive apocalypse take place. The film even has a surprisingly feel-good ending when considering its cataclysmic premise!

2. Epic Movie (2007)

"Holy shit, a talking beaver!"

To be honest, most of the films from the loosely defined franchise of parody films with "Movie" in the title could've made it onto this list - except for Date Movie (2006) which is just bad, and Scary Movie (2000) which is so hilarious that I consider it to be a quality comedy film. When looking at the balance of good and bad that this list is all about, Epic Movie is at the very epicenter. This may not be the common opinion, as the film's staggering 2.4 rating on IMDB indicates that most people consider it to be just plain terrible. But not this guy.

As unapologetically lazy and crude as the film's humor is, I can't help finding it funny as hell. Not all of it, but quite a large chunk. It's not particularly intelligent or layered humor, but it works in all simplicity. I fondly remember watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) for the first time with my family, and after my parents had gone to sleep, perfecting the double feature by watching Epic Movie (which mainly parodies the aforementioned Narnia flick) with my brother. There's an inexplicable soft spot in my heart for this strange, low-budget E-class spoof where four siblings travel to Gnarnia and team up with unlikely heroes such as Aslo the lion, played by the late great Fred Willard in his most embarrassing role.

1. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

"Percy, take this to defend yourself. It's a powerful weapon. Guard it well. Only use it in times of severe distress"

"This is a pen. This. Is. A. PEN."

I have spent a great deal of time trying to analyze just why I enjoy this film, as it seems to defy all logic. I'm fine with film adaptations that take creative liberties from their source material as long as its done in good taste (The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter et cetera), but I generally hate it when a cinematic adaptation fails to capture the essence of the book it's based on and feels nothing like it (just look at Eragon's placement on my list of the worst movies ever). And, on paper (and according to most fans), Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is exactly in the same boat as Eragon. But I don't see it that way. I wholeheartedly admit that the film butchers many of the characters, doesn't capture the book's intense and magical atmosphere, and treats the story recklessly - but for whatever reasons, I've watched it several times and enjoyed every viewing.

It's not the adaptation that Rick Riordan's brilliant book deserves. It hardly seems like the same world. But whatever world this film takes place in is quite awesome in its own, strange way. Inexplicable choices, like casting Steve Coogan as Hades or having Lady Gaga's Poker Face rock the soundtrack in the Lotus casino sequence, make the film feel less suspenseful and less epic than its source material, but they make for weirdly fascinating and thrilling entertainment. For whatever reason, I enjoy the film's signature atmosphere in all of its flaws, not to mention the few actually great elements (casting the fantastic Logan Lerman in the lead role, and, well, that's about it). I don't have a huge deal of respect for this film, but I do like it.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for a post that my Uncle Dan recommended: the top 10 Man Vs. Nature survival movies!