Thursday, December 14, 2023

The Return of the King turns 20 - SO OBVIOUSLY I WENT AND RANKED EVERY F**KING SCENE FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY

Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!


Uh, yeah. In honor of The Return of the King, one of the three only films that I have ever given a full 10/10 rating to, turning 20 years old this month - these are all the scenes from the Lord of the Rings trilogy (including ones exclusive to the Extended Edition), as they are titled in the official DVD box set, ranked from least-good to best. I hope you enjoy!


188. The Mirror of Galadriel (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The greatest trilogy of all time doesn't really have a bad scene, but the over-the-top visuals of Galadriel's beast mode may be the closest that it gets.

187. The Grace of the Valar (The Two Towers)

Most of the instances where the movies differ from the books are well-reasoned, but I never fully saw the point in Aragorn's fakeout-death side quest.

186. The Evenstar (The Two Towers)

There may be one or two too many Aragorn & Arwen scenes (as well as Aragorn & Eowyn ones) in The Two Towers, and this particular one is edited like a music video.

185. Arwen's Fate (The Two Towers)

One of many consecutive Arwen scenes that seem to drag on for a bit.

184. The Songs of the Entwives (The Two Towers)

Many of the ent scenes are a bit slow (that's the point, I know), and this particular one doesn't add much to the story although it contains some amusing lines.

183. The Wizard's Pupil (The Return of the King)

An otherwise thoroughly solid look at the gripping dynamic between Faramir and Denethor, but the mirage of Boromir in the background is a bit overkill.

182. Brego (The Two Towers)

Ah, the one where Aragorn and Eowyn talk about a horse. Classic.

181. The Funeral of Théodred (The Two Towers)

I see why this scene was cut from the theatrical release, as the film arguably works better without it - nothing really wrong with the funeral itself, but it feels even more emotional to cut straight from "Where is my son?" to the post-funeral mourning.

180. "No More Despair" (The Return of the King)

A short and solid conversation between Eowyn and Theoden, not among the third instalment's more memorable dialogues.

179. Farewell to Faramir (The Two Towers)

Frodo and Sam's goodbye to Faramir isn't among the trilogy's most touching farewell moments, but a nice moment nonetheless.

178. The Story Foreseen from Lórien (The Two Towers)

Otherwise similar to the other dragged-on Arwen scenes around it, this one sticks out as there's some cool Elrond/Galadriel dialogue about Sauron.

177. The Fighting Uruk-Hai (The Fellowship of the Ring)

This scene of Saruman readying his army for battle doesn't hit as powerfully as the previous similar scene, but is a solid build-up toward the first film's climax regardless.

176. Eowyn's Dream (The Return of the King)

Eowyn is a good character - her this-leads-nowhere dynamic with Aragorn was just explored a bit too much. Different parts of this scene underscore both points.

175. The Ring of Barahir (The Two Towers)

I'm a sucker for the lore behind Aragorn's destiny as King of the Men, and this short Saruman scene adds some information to that storyline.

174. The Corsairs of Umbar (The Return of the King)

Although the film might be even better without this bonus scene (Aragorn and company arriving in the Black Ships later on is a bigger surprise when the viewer doesn't have the full context), it also works with it when watching the Extended Cut, and at least then we get a funny Peter Jackson cameo.

173. Arwen's Vision (The Return of the King)

This scene takes the dreaminess of the semi-overdone Arwen sequences in The Two Towers, and gives it a more solid connection to the main story and and overall powerful tone.

172. One of the Dunedain (The Two Towers)

Runs the risk of being one Aragorn/Eowyn scene too many, but the humor value of Aragorn not liking the soup is the scene's saving grace.

171. The Wolves of Isengard (The Two Towers)

A very solid action sequence, but some minus points for beginning the fairly pointless near-death Aragorn subplot.

170. Bucklebury Ferry (The Fellowship of the Ring)

When watching the film for the first time, this is probably quite a thrilling moment. When re-watching, it's a slightly lesser adventure sequence amidst better ones.

169. The Witch King's Hour (The Return of the King)

A cool confrontation between Gandalf and the Witch-King, although it doesn't ultimately lead anywhere.

168. The Houses of Healing (The Return of the King)

One of those Extended Cut scenes where the film works pretty much just as well with it or without it.

167. Entmoot (The Two Towers)

Parts of this scene and storyline feel inescapably slow, but it's all worth it when considering the eventual payoffs.

166. Sam's Warning (The Return of the King)

One of the many short scenes contributing to the eventual falling-out between Sam and Gollum & Frodo - not as memorable and important as other similar ones, but still.

165. Massacre at the Fords of Isen (The Two Towers)

The Rohan scenes in the first half of The Two Towers have a gripping nature to them, and this is one of them.

164. The Captain and the White Lady (The Return of the King)

The Faramir/Eowyn romance isn't particularly epic or consequential, but it is a nice contrast to all the darkness and dramatic stakes of the trilogy's tail end.

163. Dwarf Women (The Two Towers)

A silly dialogue with Gimli as the star of the show, on the way to Helm's Deep.

162. The Foundations of Stone (The Two Towers)

I'm not the biggest fan of The Two Towers' opening scene, as the action in the Gandalf vs. Balrog fight always felt a bit too over-the-top and superhero-esque - that being said, it's not a bad opening either, with its share of thematic set-up and visual spectacle.

161. The Passing of the Elves (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Another Extended Cut scene that certainly has a mellow and melancholic vibe to it, but doesn't add much to the story or feel particularly important.

160. The Midgewater Marshes (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Yet another Extended Cut scene that the trilogy can live with or without, this scene is a fun treat for true Tolkien fans as Aragorn discusses the tale of Beren and Luthien.

159. On the Trail of the Uruk-Hai (The Two Towers)

A very short scene amidst better stuff, but fans of early internet meme culture will appreciate Legolas' line "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!".

158. The Passage of the Marshes (The Two Towers)

This Frodo/Sam/Gollum scene veers on dragging on for slightly too long, but there are many good moments to make the scene worthwhile and an overall success.

157. Aragorn Takes the Paths of the Dead (The Return of the King)

The "I'm going alone" "And we're coming with you!" cliché may be done to death in the fantasy genre, but it is sweet to see Legolas and Gimli joining Aragorn in his quest.

156. Marshalling at Dunharrow (The Return of the King)

An otherwise fairly unremarkable scene, but seeing both Merry and Eowyn's value in the upcoming battle get belittled is an important setup for how big of a payoff it becomes when they end up saving the day.

155. Fangorn Comes to Helm's Deep (The Two Towers)

A nice post-battle tying of some loose ends, for people watching the Extended Edition.

154. Oaths Fulfilled (The Return of the King)

Nothing to see here, just one of many Return of the King moments where Aragorn lives up to his destiny by acting like a true King.

153. The Voice of Saruman (The Return of the King)

Saruman's death isn't nearly as good as it is in the books, but it's still nice to see Grima Wormtongue getting his moment of sort-of-redemption.

152. Treebeard (The Two Towers)

The Ent storyline gets off to a slow but intriguing start, quite befitting the nature of Ents.

151. Osgiliath (The Two Towers)

Not much happens here, but it's a nice extra bit of worldbuilding to see the town of Osgiliath, lying on the edge of Gondor and worryingly close to Mordor.

150. The Account of Isildur (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Gandalf travels far and learns some important lore regarding the Ring, in this solid moment from the first film's first act.

149. The Final Tally (The Two Towers)

Some solid post-battle banter by the ever-dynamic duo of Legolas and Gimli.

148. The Forbidden Pool (The Two Towers)

Tensions are mounting, and Gollum's song is pretty catchy.

147. Aragorn Masters the Palantír (The Return of the King)

Another true warrior moment by Aragorn, who certainly has his share of true warrior moments in the third and best film.

146. Sons of the Steward (The Two Towers)

Faramir's Minas Tirith flashback isn't the most important moment story-wise, but it's nice to see Sean Bean again (and his speech is quite exciting).

145. The Forests of Ithilien (The Two Towers)

The dynamic between Frodo, Sam and Sméagol is built slowly but surely, as Sam's distrust, Gollum's sneakiness and the Ring's effect on Frodo all steadily grow.

144. A Daughter of Kings (The Two Towers)

Okay, the conversation that Aragorn and Eowyn have while practicing swordfighting is pretty cool.

143. The Evenstar (The Fellowship of the Ring)

All of the Rivendell sequences in The Fellowship of the Ring are magical, and this moment of Aragorn/Arwen lore is no exception.

142. Moria (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The scene at the gates of Moria would be placed higher ("Speak, friend, and enter" is clever), but I always found the Watcher in the Water to be somewhat of a forgettable villain/threat.

141. Simbelmynë on the Burial Mounds (The Two Towers)

"No parent should have to bury their child", Theoden speaks in a heartbreaking manner.

140. Caras Galadhon (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The Fellowship's arrival in the heart of Lórien, where they meet Galadriel, has a peculiar vibe to it.

139. Night Camp at Fangorn (The Two Towers)

We catch up with Merry and Pippin, still held captive by the Uruk-Hai, until a mysterious skirmish leaves their fates open. Solid stuff.

138. In the Company of Orcs (The Return of the King)

This Mordor scene from the Extended Cut isn't massively integral to the story, but scenes like this add even further darkness and despair that make the payoffs in the end feel even more earned.

137. The Nazgul Attack (The Two Towers)

A short scene following Frodo in Osgiliath, with its events leading up to one of the very best moments in the trilogy (more on that much, much further down)

136. Helm's Deep (The Two Towers)

The company from Rohan arrives in Helm's Deep, and starts to prepare for one hell of a battle (the scenes leading up to the battle are escalatingly good, as you're about to notice).

135. Ent Draft (The Two Towers)

A silly Merry and Pippin moment, bringing some light into an otherwise somber section of The Two Towers.

134. The Pyre of Denethor (The Return of the King)

So passes Denethor, Son of Ecthelion, an asshole who won't be missed.

133. The Black Gate is Closed (The Two Towers)

An important scene plot-wise, as Frodo and company must figure out an alternate way into Mordor, well-adapted from Tolkien's text.

132. The Great River (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The visuals of the Pass of Argonath are quite majestic, matched by the beauty of Howard Shore's score in this scene.

131. "Where is the Horse and the Rider?" (The Two Towers)

With the battle of Helm's Deep nearing, Theoden has a bleak heart-to-heart with his confidant Gamling.

130. Dwimorberg - The Haunted Mountain (The Return of the King)

To the backdrop of a creepy atmosphere, Aragorn and company enter the Haunted Mountain. Shivers.

129. The Window on the West (The Two Towers)

In this fairly touching moment, a connection is made as Frodo mentions Boromir, only to learn from Faramir of their brethren (and of Boromir's fate).

128. The King's Decision (The Two Towers)

Theoden starts to re-gain his touch into being King, as he makes the difficult and fateful decision to evacuate the people of Edoras into Helm's Deep.

127. Peregrin of the Tower Guard (The Return of the King)

It's nice to see Pippin getting along with Faramir and being shown some appreciation, with all of the dark post-siege build-up going on in the background.

126. Master Peregrin's Plan (The Two Towers)

Two Pippin moments in a row, yay! I love Billy Boyd's facial expression as he lays out his plan with confidence.

125. Lothlórien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Gimli is his funny self as the Fellowship enters the atmospheric and enchanted woods of Lothlórien.

124. At the Green Dragon (The Fellowship of the Ring)

This is one of those Extended Cut scenes that makes the viewing experience much better even if the theatrical release could live without it - it's nice to spend some extra time in the Shire, getting to know the characters, before shit starts to go down.

123. Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The mystery and lore surrounding the One Ring reach peak intrigue, as Gandalf gives Frodo some serious instructions.

122. The Glittering Caves (The Two Towers)

With the preparations in Helm's Deep going down as the characters are about to run out of time, Aragorn has a heated exchange in Elvish with Legolas.

121. "Don't Be Hasty, Master Meriadoc!" (The Two Towers)

The Entmoot continues to take place, getting gradually more interesting as Merry starts to question the proceedings.

120. The Mouth of Sauron (The Return of the King)

This Extended Cut scene splits opinions, but I for one am all for it - the extra desparation of the characters being tricked into thinking Frodo is dead, not to mention Aragorn's undying hope as he simply won't believe it, adds gravitas to the following moments.

119. A Knife in the Dark (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The four hobbits and Aragorn have an intense encounter with the Ringwraiths. Good stuff.

118. The Pass of Caradhras (The Fellowship of the Ring)

A snowy and dire situation, where Boromir continues to muse over the Ring while an enchantment by Saruman puts the Fellowship in peril.

117. Bilbo's Gifts (The Fellowship of the Ring)

AH! Don't mind me, I got startled just thinking about the Bilbo jump scare that never ceases to make one jump.

116. Cross-roads of the Fallen King (The Return of the King)

A nice Extended Cut moment, that the plot would survive unscathed without, but that adds extra profound symbolism to the powerful narrative of the return of Gondor's King.

115. Aragorn's Return (The Two Towers)

Aragorn arrives at Helm's Deep, warning the people of Rohan of Saruman's army's size, as the big fight draws nearer and nearer.

114. Gilraen's Memorial (The Fellowship of the Ring)

A deep conversation between Elrond and Aragorn, about the latter's position as an unwilling heir and his alleged destiny.

113. The Heir of Numenor (The Two Towers)

And here we have a deep conversation between Gandalf and Aragorn, largely about the same topics, but with the added heart-warming value of Gandalf's smile when he hears that Sam went with Frodo.

112. The Departure of the Fellowship (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Frodo leading the pack, not knowing whether to turn left or right as they leave Rivendell, really underscores the scope of the trek they're about to embark upon.

111. Minas Morgul (The Return of the King)

The Return of the King works so well because things look so dire and hopeless before they turn for the better - and that is thanks to scenes like this, where Sauron's army is presented as a truly unstoppable force.

110. Grond - The Hammer of the Underworld (The Return of the King)

A short scene amidst the Siege of Gondor, with the chaotic action being expertly directed by Peter Jackson.

109. The Riders of Rohan (The Two Towers)

Memorable dialogue ensues, as the Three Hunters encounter the banished Rohirrim Riders. How does a scene this good not even make the Top 100? That's just how amazing of a trilogy this is.

108. The Caverns of Isengard (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Howard Shore's beautiful Eagles theme surfaces briefly as Gandalf sends for help, while Saruman continues his ominous villain arch.

107. Pippin's Task (The Return of the King)

Like the earlier 'Nazgul Attack', this one is important mainly because it sets the pieces for a later scene, that will go down as one of the film's best.

106. The Fate of Merry and Pippin (The Two Towers)

Aragorn plays detective, trying to figure out what happened at the scene of the skirmish, while his scream of pain makes for one of the most "did you know..." fun facts that fans love to discuss.

105. Flight to the Ford (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Arwen taking a stand before the Ringwraiths is her most badass moment. Hell yes.

104. The Paths of the Dead (The Return of the King)

"WHAT SAY YOU!", speaks an unreleting Aragorn to the Army of the Dead, once again proving himself to be the true Heir of Numenor.

103. The Flooding of Isengard (The Two Towers)

Yeah, especially when keeping in mind how Tolkien's works symbolized his fear of industrialization taking over our nature, it's pretty awesome to see the f**king forest fighting back against the machinery of Isengard.

102. The Tomb of the Stewards (The Return of the King)

A heart-pounding sequence of events begins, as Denethor goes off the deep end and decides to burn his son Faramir, refusing to believe that he's still alive.

101. The Muster of Rohan (The Return of the King)

Theoden lets Merry down, saying there's no place for a hobbit in his army - BUT EOWYN TAKES HIM WITH HER! Go get 'em, Merry!

100. Old Entish (The Two Towers)

The Entmoot goes on and on, with Merry getting more and more fed up, and Dominic Monaghan getting ready for his star moment (more on that later).

99. The Black Ships (The Return of the King)

Okay, the arrival of Aragorn and the Army of the Dead is much better in the books, and feels a tad 'Deus ex machina' in the movies - BUT STILL, it's pretty damn epic.

98. The Ring Goes South (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Mm, aerial shots of the Fellowship traveling in beautiful New Zealand landscapes, with Howard Shore's Fellowship Theme going illegally hard.

97. Many Meetings (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Nice and sweet reunions ensue in one of the many great Rivendell scenes of the first instalment.

96. Gollum's Plan (The Two Towers)

This is the final scene of The Towers - for the very ending of such a grand film, it's not all that special, but as the 'real ending' happened a few scenes back, this is a decent epilogue-like cliffhanger note to end the film on.

95. The Spoiling of Isengard (The Fellowship of the Ring)

To a startlingly ominous soundtrack channelling the death-implying Dies Irae monk chant (Howard Shore is a genius), we follow Saruman turning Isengard into a machinery of evil. Dark stuff.

94. Allegiance to Denethor (The Return of the King)

This is the moment where one truly starts to despise Denethor, as he admits to Faramir that he wishes he had died instead of Boromir, and says that his pride in his remaining son will depend upon the matter of his return. Father of the year, everyone.

93. Farewell, Dear Bilbo (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Bilbo leaves the Shire, delightfully humming along "The road goes ever on", in a scene that showcases how fully Jackson understood Tolkien's source material.

92. Flotsam and Jetsam (The Two Towers)

Classic Merry&Pippin shenanigans ensue as they find loads of Longbottom Leaf in the ruins of Isengard, and I'm here for it.

91. The Nazgul (The Fellowship of the Ring)

The 'wrong beds' reveal is a bit cheeky upon re-watching, but the rest of the scene more than makes up for it with the iconic "second breakfast" dialogue.

90. Gollum and Sméagol (The Two Towers)

A masterclass in acting by Andy Serkis, who makes a riveting dialogue out of talking to himself.

89. "Courage Is the Best Defense" (The Return of the King)

More words of wisdom are spoken by Gandalf, in the final moments before the army of Mordor reaches the gates of Minas Tirith, and stakes are higher than ever.

88. Shelob's Lair (The Return of the King)

Frodo is betrayed by Gollum and encounters the monster Shelob, in this truly spooky sequence.

87. Osgiliath Invaded (The Return of the King)

The addition of this scene adds intrigue to the layout and battle tactics of the War of the Ring, underscoring the weakness of Gondor's defense in relation to Sauron's army, while making it clear that Minas Tirith will be the last stand of the Men.

86. Exodus from Edoras (The Two Towers)

To a bittersweet and melancholic Howard Shore soundtrack, we see the people of Rohan lead by Theoden to a mass exodus, hoping to find safety in Helm's Deep.

85. A Long-Expected Party (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve" is one hell of a line, and it never fails to make my brain itch whilst trying to figure out its implications.

84. The Decline of Gondor (The Return of the King)

Tensions are mounting and stakes getting higher in an increasingly gloomy Minas Tirith, as Gandalf recounts some Gondor history to Pippin.

83. Gollum's Villainy (The Return of the King)

The dynamic of Gollum's treachery, Sam's doubts and the Ring's increasing hold on Frodo start to feel more and more Shakespearean.

82. Elven Rope (The Two Towers)

Great dialogue and a very specific vibe are seen and felt in this atmospheric Frodo&Sam scene.

81. Very Old Friends (The Fellowship of the Ring)

One of the earliest scenes of the first film, here we see Gandalf and Bilbo meeting again after long last, while the foundations are set for important plotlines.

80. The Uruk-Hai (The Two Towers)

Merry and Pippin's first Two Towers scene catches us up with their grim surroundings, being held captive by the Uruk-Hai, while trying to retain a sense of hope.

79. At the Sign of the Prancing Pony (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Peter Jackson makes a silly cameo, Pippin has some fun with pints and Aragorn makes his memorable entrance.

78. The Battle of the Pelennor Fields (The Return of the King)

A short mid-battle sequence as we keep jumping from one high-intensity storyline to the next, this moment showcases Peter Jackson's skill of handling chaotic, large-scale action set pieces.

77. The Nazgul and His Prey (The Return of the King)

The demise of the Witch-King of Angmar is set up here, as he ambushes Theoden in the midst of battle, not knowing what's about to hit him.

76. The Passing of Théoden (The Return of the King)

Theoden King's death scene isn't among the absolutely most tear-jerking scenes in the franchise, but a touching send-off nonetheless.

75. Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit (The Two Towers)

The dialogue between Sam and Gollum is f**king hilarious, while Faramir's pondering of whether the Haradrim warrior they killed truly was evil at heart is a somber look at the nature of war.

74. Denethor's Madness (The Return of the King)

Despite Pippin's objections, Denethor goes on with his plan to burn Faramir alive, as the despair starts to escalate.

73. The Banishment of Éomer (The Two Towers)

Our proper introduction to Rohan's capital Edoras, with Howard Shore's music and the Oscar-nominated set design leaving us with quite the first impression.

72. Balin's Tomb (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Things aren't quite right in Moria, and something fell in the deeps of the earth awakens. Shivers.

71. Breaking the Gate of Gondor (The Return of the King)

The siege of Minas Tirith starts to feel more and more dire, with the atmosphere once again lifted straight from the corresponding chapter in Tolkien's source material.

70. The Stairs of Cirith Ungol (The Return of the King)

Gollum and the Ring start to successfully turn Frodo against Sam, which is just so heartbreaking to witness, with Elijah Wood really nailing the "not quite in control anymore" bleakness of a weakened Frodo.

69. The Last March of the Ents (The Two Towers)

Oh, hell yes. Merry and Pippin's plan works, as Treebeard summons the Ents to fight back against Isengard.

68. The Taming of Sméagol (The Two Towers)

Gollum was teased in the first film, but here we have our true and full introduction to the character, and Andy Serkis truly delivers.

67. Farewell to Lórien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Leave it to Billy Boyd to utter the word "four" in the most hysterically amusing manner known to man. Also, Gimli's reminiscing of the gift he received from Galadriel is quite sweet.

66. The Fall of Osgiliath (The Return of the King)

Gandalf does some badass magic to save Faramir's company, while Pippin's delight upon hearing that Frodo is still alive is Hobbit kinship at its purest.

65. Theoden's Decision (The Return of the King)

"Gondor calls for aid" - "And Rohan will answer". Oh, hell yeah.

64. "The Eagles Are Coming!" (The Return of the King)

Tolkien's storytelling combined with Jackson's directing always manages to create moments that feel epic to the maximum, until something even more epic enters the mix.

63. Isengard Unleashed (The Two Towers)

In a spine-shivering moment of pure villainy, Saruman gives a cold and ominous speech to his gargantuan army of Uruk-Hai, before sending them off to Helm's Deep.

62. The Choices of Master Samwise (The Return of the King)

One of the many scenes demonstrating just why Tolkien himself always saw Samwise Gamgee as the true hero of the story. Just watch this meek farmer's son go full warrior against a demonic spider monster.

61. A Shortcut to Mushrooms (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Classic Hobbit humor ensues as the halfling quartet continues their misadventure, until the appearance of a Ringwraith takes the situation from amusing to nerve-wracking.

60. The Breach of the Deeping Wall (The Two Towers)

One of the many mega-intense scenes from the midst of the Helm's Deep battle, all of which are pure cinema.

59. Victory at Minas Tirith (The Return of the King)

How is the tail end of the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, including the moment where Legolas obliterates a Mumak in badass fashion, only at 59?? How are there 58 better scenes than this one?? Christ, this trilogy might be humanity's greatest achievement.

58. Saruman the White (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Saruman's villainous turn comes to light in this fit of Shakespearean acting by legends McKellen and Lee.

57. The Tower of Cirith Ungol (The Return of the King)

"AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!", yells Samwise Gamgee, in one of the many moments that prove why he is indeed the true hero of the story.

56. The Shadow of the Past (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Upon setting off for the big adventure, Sam's moment of pointing out that he's stepping farther than he's ever been before is a touching way of putting things into perspective.

55. The Land of Shadow (The Return of the King)

"I don't think there will be a return journey". Christ. The Return of the King works so well because the grim parts are done so authentically, that even when one knows how the story ends, the situation will feel inescapably bleak and hopeless for a lot of the time, which makes the eventual payoffs so glorious.

54. The Retreat of the Hornburg (The Two Towers)

Things in Helm's Deep are starting to look more and more desparate, right before the tide is turned.

53. The King of the Golden Hall (The Two Towers)

I like this scene because Theoden's spell being lifted is a perfect demonstration of how I change after having my first cup of coffee in the morning.

52. Minas Tirith (The Return of the King)

A grand introduction to one of the most iconic and glorious-looking milieus in Middle-Earth, bound to become the last line of defense for all that is good.

51. Return to Edoras (The Return of the King)

Drinks are enjoyed and fun is had, while Gandalf and Aragorn have a somber conversation - the fact that even Ganfalf is cynical of Frodo's chances really underscores how massive Aragorn's heart is, as he alone still has faith.

50. The White Rider (The Two Towers)

Considering how worn-out the 'ha, I wasn't really dead!' cliché is in Hollywood, this scene works just so much better than it has any right to.

49. Concerning Hobbits (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Sadly only appearing in the Extended Edition, this is a wonderfully cozy and mellow introduction to Hobbits and the Shire.

48. The Three Hunters (The Two Towers)

A short scene but one that really kicks The Two Towers off, as we follow Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli gloriously making their way to the backdrop of amazing New Zealand scenery and an adventurous Howard Shore score.

47. Parth Galen (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Boromir's attempt to steal the Ring is heartbreaking character writing, and Sean Bean really sells it with his gripping performance.

46. The Battle of the Hornburg (The Two Towers)

After a seriously tense standoff between the two armies, a nervous bowman accidentally opens fire, and so one of the greatest battles in cinematic history begins.

45. The Burnings of the Westfold (The Two Towers)

Our proper introdudcion to Rohan is a heartbreaking one, as we see Saruman's forces scorching their way through the Westfold, as children flee, and the bittersweet soundtrack makes it all the more melancholic.

44. Rivendell (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Rivendell was one of the most magical places imagined by Tolkien, and surely one of the hardest to properly adapt on the big screen - yet the mesmerizing set design and otherworldly music here do it justice.

43. The Reforging of Narsil (The Return of the King)

Ah, I just love the lore relating to the mythical sword Narsil so much, as Tolkien managed to make a f**king broken sword feel so larger-than-life and Jackson sure followed suit. Shivers.

42. The Finding of the Ring (The Return of the King)

I absolutely love how The Return of the King begins, as the 4-hour behemoth doesn't have an opening scene as much as it has a sequence of scenes that slowly but surely start the film. The first of these is the prologue-like flashback detailing Smeagol's origin....

41. Journey to the Cross-roads (The Return of the King)

...which is immediately followed by a short scene of Gollum, Sam and Frodo in the present day - the days are getting darker, the mood for the film is set, and still no opening titles are seen as the slow burn opening continues to build.

40. Mount Doom (The Return of the King)

The climax of the trilogy starts to arrive in full force, as Frodo and Sam climb up Mount Doom, getting closer to the gate, as Gollum appears at the eleventh hour and everything is left drastically open.

39. Merry's Simple Courage (The Return of the King)

Meriadoc Brandybuck is definitely one of the most underrated characters in the trilogy, and one who I've always had a major soft spot for, largely thanks to scenes like this one.

38. The Siege of Gondor (The Return of the King)

Denethor giving his men idiotic instructions, only to be knocked out by Gandalf who takes charge, is a classic moment that also gave birth to many memes (Trump vs. Fauci on COVID orders et cetera).

37. Shieldmaiden of Rohan (The Return of the King)

Eowyn and Merry teaming up to kill the Witch King, after being doubted and shunned by the Rohan army, is pretty f**king sweet.

36. The Return of the King (The Return of the King)

The titular scene of my all-time second-favorite movie is a good one. "My friends, you bow to no one" is what I say to any crazy bastard who actually reads this entire post from start to finish.

35. Forth Eorlingas (The Two Towers)

A classic The Lord of the Rings turn of events with great dramatic timing - the battle of Helm's Deep looks hopeless, until Aragorn remembers Gandalf's words ("At dawn, look to the east"), and his eyes welcome the miraculous sight of the Rohirrim arriving.

34. The Shire (The Fellowship of the Ring)

In one of the trilogy's warmest and coziest moments, Frodo is out reading a book without a care in the world when Gandalf arrives and the two share a delightful interaction. This is the stuff that stays with you.

33. The Last Debate (The Return of the King)

"Certainty of death, small chance of success - what are we waiting for?". Aragorn's heroic plan of drawing Sauron's forces out comes to realization, and the endgame is set.

32. The Fellowship Reunited (The Return of the King)

After all that went down, it just fills one's heart to see Frodo reuniting with everyone, alive and well. The meaningful look between him and Sam is everything.

31. "The Battle for Middle-Earth Is About to Begin" (The Two Towers)

The table is set for The Return of the King, while Sam and Frodo share an interaction that puts a nice bow on an even greater scene from earlier. Samwise the Brave, indeed.

30. The Sword that Was Broken (The Fellowship of the Ring)

One of the more underrated scenes in the trilogy sees Aragorn and Boromir having a talk that touches on many important topics, such as the lore behind Narsil and Aragorn's fabled destiny at Heir of Numenor. Sean Bean's delivery of "No more than a broken heirloom" is phenomenal.

29. A Journey in the Dark (The Fellowship of the Ring)

While navigating their way through Moria, Gandalf stops to share some heartwarming and much-needed words of wisdom with Frodo, essentially sealing Sir Ian McKellen's Oscar nomination.

28. The Road Goes Ever On... (The Fellowship of the Ring)

As it happens, the words of wisdom from the scene above are returned to in the first film's final moments, because they were just so damn powerful that they deserved to be heard again. Frodo and Sam embarking towards Mordor together is quite the note to leave things on.

27. Andúril - Flame of the West (The Return of the King)

Elrond arrives to present Aragorn with the re-forged sword, pleading him to meet his destiny, as the romantic intrigue of the Gondor lore hits an all-time high and sends shivers down one's spine.

26. The Parting of Sam and Frodo (The Return of the King)

Sean Astin's delivery of the line "You don't mean that" never fails to tear my heart into a thousand pieces. Damn you, you evil goddamn Ring.

25. The Palantír (The Return of the King)

The farewell between Merry and Pippin is infinitely touching, as Merry explains to Aragorn just how deep their bond goes, while watching Pippin and Gandalf ride away.

24. Homeward Bound (The Return of the King)

In the second-last scene of the entire massive tale, our heroes return to The Shire and the feeling is that of sweet home, the taste of strawberries, Rosie Cotton, and all the things Sam reminisced on Mount Doom.

23. The Departure of Boromir (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"I would have followed you, my brother...my captain...my king". WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS??!

22. The Bridge of Khazad-Dum (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Even when one has read the books and seen the movies a million times and completely knows that Gandalf isn't gone for good, his fall still grips one's heart, because the reaction of the characters who think they lost their mentor is so gut-wrenching (and Howard Shore's deeply emotional score makes it all the more powerful).

21. The Host of the Eldar (The Two Towers)

This one scene before the battle of Helm's Deep makes the rest of the film feel so much more important in scope, because things are put into perspective as Aragorn has a talk with one of the many about to fight, who is just a frightened (yet extremely brave) kid, thrust into war. "Haleth, son of Hama - there is always hope".

20. The Crack of Doom (The Return of the King)

The final stand-off where it all had lead sees the Ring getting a hold of Frodo for one last time, Sam screaming his lungs out at things are more dire than ever, and Gollum reaching his poetic end as the Ring ends up getting cast into the very fire in which it was forged.

19. Sauron Defeated (The Return of the King)

Emotions run high, as the heroes at the Black Gate witness the sheer glory of Barad-Dur collapsing as a sign of the Ring's destruction - yet this quickly turns to heartbreak, as the sight of Mount Doom imploding makes Merry, Pippin and the others think that Frodo and Sam have died, and the pain in their faces truly tugs at one's heartstrings.

18. Prologue: One Ring to Rule Them All... (The Fellowship of the Ring)

How to open the greatest movie trilogy of all time? How about a massive-scale blast of perfectly paced backstory and lore, to some spine-shivering Howard Shore music and the larger-than-life atmosphere of Cate Blanchett's voiceover monologue?

17. The Fate of the Ring (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Hugo Weaving proves once again to be perfection in the supporting role of Elrond, as he fills Gandalf in on an important detail in the Isildur story, which makes the story of the Ring much more powerful and gripping. They also discuss the faltering faith of Men, which ties so beautifully into the themes of hope stemming from Aragorn's character arch and storyline.

16. The Entmoot Decides (The Two Towers)

You know how I mentioned that Merry is one of my favorite characters? Well, after multiple scenes of slow-burning buildup, here he gets his definitive star moment, as he lays his heart out on what's right and what isn't to the indecisive Ents, and Dominic Monaghan captures the character's newfound courage in a grand manner.

15. The Lighting of the Beacons (The Return of the King)

Gondor calls for aid in the most visually outstanding way possible, and the only thing more magnificent than the beautiful shots of New Zealand scenery is Howard Shore's track for this sequence, which contains the very best versions of the epic Minas Tirith theme and the beautiful Rohan theme, with one transitioning to the other in a thematically genius manner.

14. The End of All Things (The Return of the King)

The sheer cataclysmic nature of Frodo and Sam discussing their longing for mundane things of the Shire, while sitting on a rock in the midst of a collapsing volcano, being sure that they're going to die, is as apocalyptic as it is touching.

13. The Council of Elrond (The Fellowship of the Ring)

Some of the slower, dialogue-heavier scenes have only grown on me with time and maturity, but already as a kid, this scene of people sitting and talking for a long time was inexplicably addictive and riveting. The dialogue is just so great, and so full of majestic moments from "You have my sword" / "And my bow" / "AND MY AXE!" all the way to the heartfelt reveals that the other hobbits were eavesdropping the whole time, and insist on joining the Fellowship.

12. The Ride of the Rohirrim (The Return of the King)

"FELL DEEDS AWAKE, FIRE AND SLAUGHTER! SPEAR SHALL BE SHAKEN, SHIELD BE SPLINTERED, A SWORD DAY, A RED DAY, ERE THE SUN RISES! RIDE NOW, RIDE NOW! RIDE TO GONDOR!"

11. The Road to Isengard (The Return of the King)

Possibly the most underrated scene of the entire trilogy in my view, this is the true beginning of The Return of the King, as the opening titles finally arrive in a majestic, home-like fashion during the third scene of the film. Merry's words of welcome to his old fellows always bring a massive smile to my face.

10. "The Deep Breath Before the Plunge" (The Return of the King)

A quintessential 'calm before the storm' scene, as Gandalf talks to Pippin while overlooking the view towards Mordor even as the enemy approaches, truly putting things into scope before all hell breaks loose.

9. The Breaking of the Fellowship (The Fellowship of the Ring)

There's just so much greatness going on here - Merry and Pippin distracting the Uruk-Hai to protect Frodo, Sam going with him, and of course, Boromir's moment of redemption and sacrifice.

8. Pippin Looks After Merry (The Return of the King)

As mentioned, the delightful bromance of Merry and Pippin is one of the trilogy's greatest elements, and that's why my heart pounds and screams while my eyes flood with tears when the two of them find each other in the aftermath of the battle.

7. "A Far Green Country" (The Return of the King)

I'm one of those people who has had a steadily hard time coming to terms with one's mortality and the fact that everyone eventually dies. There aren't many things that have given me as much assurance and hope on these topics as Gandalf's words of wisdom to Pippin, in the midst of a chaotic siege, on top of some heart-melting Howard Shore melodies.

6. The Sacrifice of Faramir (The Return of the King)

Goosebumps of the highest order commence, as we cut between Pippin singing his beautiful and heart-piercing song to Denethor, and Faramir's forces descending upon their suicide mission. Peak cinema. Just peak f**king cinema.

5. The Grey Havens (The Return of the King)

I'm glad that Gandalf doesn't instruct not to cry, because "not all tears are an evil", as I could never imagine getting through the trilogy's final scene with dry eyes. What a pitch-perfect note to end things on.

4. The Last Move (The Return of the King)

No visual will ever top Aragorn, alone, charging into battle against a massive army, only for the first people to start running with him to be the hobbits Merry and Pippin.

3. The Black Gate Opens (The Return of the King)

Aragorn delivers a rousing battle speech, and Legolas and Gimli have an interaction that could cure racism.

2. The Tales that Really Mattered... (The Two Towers)

While it borrows from some Sam lines in the books, the speech in itself isn't from Tolkien's source material and was original to the films. That makes it hit all the harder, because on a meta level, Sam's words about their journey being 'like the stories that really mattered' feel like Peter Jackson discussing just what made Tolkien's stories - the ones that really mattered - so special for so many people. Also, Sean Astin's acting in this scene is heart-wrenching dynamite while Howard Shore's soundtrack hits hard. Tears.

1. "I Can't Carry It For You...but I Can Carry You" (The Return of the King)

Frodo is the protagonist. Aragorn is the warrior destined to be King. Gandalf is the all-powerful wizard who sets things in motion. But, if you see anyone else than the humble gardener's son Sam as the true hero of the story, you severely missed the point.

Themes of fellowship, loyalty and generally being there for a friend are in the very essence of Tolkien's writing, inspired by his own experiences of comradery in the trenches of the First World War among other things. And this scene, this one moment, more than any other, is where Tolkien's ideas come to life on the big screen in their purest form. Sam's line is the very moment when darkness starts to give way to light, as hope stems from the most impossible places and the world shifts for the better.



Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for yet another project of ambition: the top 100 Christmas episodes from TV shows.

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