Greetings, reader!
Culinary Month continues, with this week’s post focusing on the best whiskeys out there. While a nice glass of whiskey has become my drink of choice for occasions that call for a tasteful amount of alcohol consumption, I do not claim to be any sort of expert on the subject - I’m still very much learning, and my pallet isn’t all that sophisticated. Still, the part of my brain that makes lists about every damn thing has learned to form a hierarchy of different whiskeys, in a somewhat-analytical, pseudo-scientific manner. I’m not nearly enough of a snob (yet) to recognize the more nuanced differences between a 12-year-old single malt and a 14-year-old single malt or double-charred and triple-distilled, which is why I decided to rank these by distillery/brand. If I’ve only tasted one whiskey from the distillery, it’ll be ranked based on how good that specific whiskey was, and if I’ve had multiple variants, it’ll be ranked based on a combination of them (with emphasis on the better instalments).
Here are my honorable mentions: Aberfeldy, Bowmore, Buffalo Trace, Glenfidich, Teerenpeli.
15. Laphroaig
My understanding is that many whisky enthusiasts would rank this acclaimed single malt Scotch even higher, and probably scoff at many of the cheaper and less fancy whiskies that I have ahead of it on my list. In my defense, I do really like this one - it’s just not among my highest tier of favorites.
At least based on the Laphroaigs I’ve had the pleasure of tasting, I always get the sense that this distillery’s products are to whisky what champagne is to wines - it definitely tastes fancy and thus appropriate for any celebratory occasion, but it tastes fancy more than it does good (this is just my weird subjective take). This makes Laphroaig perfect for a certain occasion, but I still don’t enjoy the taste in a subjective manner quite as much as I do with some other scotches.
14. Bushmills
The Old Bushmills Distillery makes some damn fine Irish whiskey! With products ranging from single malts to blends, I’ve never had a bad experience with Bushmills, as it always seems to hit the spot. It’s one of the most common whiskeys (especially Irish ones) to be available in Finnish bars, and while I don’t order this nearly as enough as I do some even higher-ranking favorites, it’s always a nice fallback option whenever I feel like going with something slightly different.
13. Grant's
This Scotch brand is many things - rich in texture, nuanced in taste, and one of the top whiskies I’d recommend to someone who generally doesn’t like whisky (it’s not too smoky, which I know to be a red flag for many, which always baffles me as I adore the smoky ones). I got a good-sized bottle of Grant's blended scotch from a good friend of mine as a birthday present last year, so that has been the most common night cap for me and my fiancée whenever we feel like one during the past year.
12. Highland Bird
First of all, the specific color of this blended scotch makes it one of the most beautiful whiskies to look at, as it’s just the right tone of deep and elegant gold. The taste is somewhat sweet and fruity, and while it isn’t one of the smokiest scotches, there’s a delightful hint of smoke that adds nuance to the taste and feel. Definitely one of the more underrated whiskies I’ve encountered!
11. Kyrö
In the words of my people, torilla tavataan Perkele!
Between their absolute-cinema ads and their campaign of producing and selling hand sanitizer to support health care workers during Covid-19, there’s a lot to appreciate in this Finnish distillery. Additionally, Kyrö’s rye whisky tastes absolutely excellent, with a proper amount of Finnish grit conveyed in the mouthfeel and aftertaste! Made 100% of Finnish wholegrain rye and aged in American oak barrels, Kyrö Malt is a mature product that takes the best out of both worlds, much like myself.
10. Jack Daniel’s
I’ve found the average Scottish and Irish whiskeys to be more to my liking than American ones, which I’m kind of glad about - I don’t want to be *that* American (especially since I already am just that when it comes to my taste in movies and music). That being said, some of the American classics are damn good ones, and this iconic Tennessee whiskey is chief among them.
The whiskey of choice for icons like Frank Sinatra and Lemmy Kilmister, Jack Daniel’s has certainly earned its reputation. In my experience, any given Jack Daniel’s label is bound to be smooth in texture, while having a tight taste with sweet undertones. The whiskey also gains extra points for its role in cocktails like the Jack&Coke, as well as being a key ingredient in my Christmas tofu marinade recipe!
9. Starward
Our old high school friend group gets together for a cabin weekend 1-2 times a year, and the last few times have been marked by the cult-like emergence of a society of wannabe whisky enthusiasts. For these occasions, we’ve gotten together to pool our money and get a bottle of a finer whisky than we’re used to, to be consumed between us over the weekend. These experiences have been exquisite, and one of the many delightful drinks I’ve gotten acquainted with via this whisky-nerd-club is this award-winning Australian brand.
Distilled from both wheat and barley malt in a somewhat experimental manner, the product is then matured in Australian red wine casks, which gives it a truly unique taste. This isn’t your average whisky, but is different in a striking, surprising and ultimately brilliant manner! The specific taste given by the maturing process makes for a bizarre combination of whisky and red wine, but once you get used to it, it’s really nice. The texture is also quite remarkable - it’s so smooth that taking a sip doesn’t initially feel like you’re consuming strong alcohol as it goes down very easily, but the dynamite aftertaste is when it gets you.
8. Jameson
When I started to write down notes for a preliminary ranking of the different whiskeys I’ve tasted a long time ago, this Irish household name was ranked a lot lower. Don’t get me wrong, I always liked it, but it certainly wouldn’t have gone ahead of Kyrö or Jack Daniels based on first impressions. But, the thing is - Jameson has really grown on me.
This has a lot to do with deeply subjective emotional associations - as is the case with my movie/TV lists and my music opinions, those things have a lot of sway in any given ranking and have a lot of bearing on how I rank things. After all, our experiences in life affect how we enjoy things and any whiskey (just like any movie or any song) is affected by the context around it!
You see, Jameson is the whiskey of choice for my in-laws - well, more specifically, they are more cognac people, but they know that I’m a whiskey guy and they love me way too much. Therefore, there’s a bottle of Jameson waiting for me pretty much any time I visit my fiancée’s family in North Karelia. Having enjoyed this fine drink with important people whom I love very much on multiple occasions has made the taste of Jameson inseparable from those good times in my mind, and this positive association definitely makes the drink a whole lot better in my subjective taste.
7. Macallan
Founded in 1824 on a site that had been inhabited for thousands of years with a rich history, this Scottish distillery is deeply ingrained in whisky culture. As mythically iconic as Macallan is, it’s not typically available in Finnish bars and is way too expensive for my budget in liquor stores - so I’ve only had it once, when the aforementioned whisky club chose their double cask 15-year-old single malt as our whisky of choice for a cabin weekend.
As far as I recall, it was pure class. As much I appreciate all sorts of different and even gimmicky whiskies, I can also appreciate something like this - not smoky, not spicy, not sweet, nothing extra, just lore-accurate scotch as it should taste.
6. Glenrothes
I got a bottle of this fine, fine whisky as a present from my in-laws a few years ago, and oh man - for the time that the bottle lasted, it was one of my most cherished possessions (we actually still keep it and occasionally use it as a flower vase). That’s how much the present meant to me - and how amazing the whisky was.
Rich in texture, Glenrothes is the kind of Scotch that you must cherish every sip of, enjoying all the little nuances in its taste and aftertaste. We’re really getting to the great ones here!
5. Lagavulin
I wanted to taste this whisky ever since I saw that one Parks & Rec episode, and when I finally got around to it, I was not disappointed. I’ve only tasted it a few times in a few select bars, and it never disappoints - as a major fan of smoky variations of whisky, this is more or less the option when going for proper smokiness. I particularly remember one time when I was out with friends, and my best friend Atte bought me a glass of this fine stuff, and the entire table seemed to ooze of smoke due to the presence of one small glass - as I recall, not everyone was thrilled by this, but I was happy as a clam.
4. Jim Beam
The most iconic bourbon brand of them all, and one of my all-time favorites. Jim Beam may not be as fancy as Lagavulin or Laphroaig, but this is my subjective list, and I’d be lying if I ranked this any lower. For whatever reason, be it a longing for my other home country or something else entirely, the taste of Jim Beam has always been one of my strongest preferences in the world of whiskey.
Originally introduced in 1795 under the name “Old Jake Beam Sour Mash”, the Kentucky-based brand has undergone a rich history, eventually bringing us the stuff we know and love today. There’s just something about that deep-reddish color and fruity taste that feels amiable and even nostalgic (this is one of the first whiskeys I tasted, and the first one I remember really liking). I even conveyed my enjoyment of this brand into the musical I wrote and directed last year - in the very first line of dialogue after the opening number, the protagonist orders a Jim Beam on the rocks.
3. Talisker
When it comes to the smoky ones, Talisker is the GOAT for me. A friend of mine got me a rather nice bottle of Talisker Single Malt (aged 10 years) as a university graduation present, and oh man - it's a rather small bottle, and so far I've only dared to open it once, because that first time was such a savory experience. So I'm saving it for truly special occasions. If you're not into smoky whiskies, you should stay away from this one - but if that's what you like, then I highly recommend this Scottish masterwork.
2. Nikka
The first time that our "whisky club" got together to get a fine bottle for one of our cabin weekends, we opted to go deep down the rabbit hole and try out something completely new for all of us - Japanese whisky. To this day, that weekend remains the only time that I've tasted the Japanese stuff, but based on that, I want more whenever the opportunity arrives - you see, the Nikka Yoichi Single Malt is the stuff of legends. The taste was quite simply mind-blowing - the mildly smoky tone, the array of subtle flavors swiveling in your mouth as you take a sip, the delicate texture...I strongly considered ranking this at #1. But, then, I had to face the truth...
1. Tullamore D.E.W.
I'd be lying to myself if I put anything other than this Irish distillery at first place. First of all, there's the nostalgia aspect. It's not quite the first whiskey I tasted or even the first one I remember really liking - but it is, however, the first one that I discovered after I realized that whiskey might be my drink of choice and that I might want to embark on a journey to find out my favorites. And while I've discovered plenty of great whiskeys since, nothing has quite beaten Tullamore, the taste of which has become akin to the feeling of spending time with an old friend (and isn't there something very Irish about that association?).
Interestingly, there are many things that I generally like in my whiskey that aren't found in Tullamore - it's not the least bit smoky, and there's nothing groundbreaking or unique...nor does there need to be. You see, everything conventional that I like in "regular" whiskey has simply been done to perfection with Tullamore's recipes, which is why it tastes like whiskey in its final form. Compared to many of the more intense drinks on this list, Tullamore feels warm and light and goes down quite easily - but not in a lame way, as it still very much feels like a proper strong whiskey at heart. Quite often, I'll go for something completely new to myself or something I haven't had in a while, if I'm ordering a whiskey at a pub - but if I feel like something sure and familiar, this is the one I keep coming back to.
Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I rank the top 5 fictional foods/drinks I would like to taste the most, and top 5 that I would NOT want to taste.
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