Greetings, reader!
Well, the Premier League season is about to start - so, as is tradition, here is my annual prediction for what the league table will look like at the end of the season!
20. Ipswich Town
I have many sacred traditions within these annual predictions, one of which is this: from the three teams that were just promoted from the Championship, I’m betting that one has an incredible streets-won't-forget run, one barely stays up with a nail-biting 17th-place finish - and one goes straight down. Due to a number of factors, my guess for the unfortunately short-lived league spell is going to Ipswich Town, who came in 2nd in last season’s Championship. Here’s hoping the scrappy underdogs prove me wrong!
19. Nottingham Forest
After an epic promotion to the Premier League and a few shockingly good seasons, Nottingham Forest have been doing poorer now, and were in the relegation battle for a while there before finishing 16th last season. Having lost their most important player, Elliot Anderson, to Manchester City in this transfer window, I’m guessing their struggle will continue - of course, they might end up spending the Anderson money well and building a fresh new team, but I’m skeptical.
18. Leeds United
There aren’t all that many obvious picks for relegation ahead of this season, but after pondering long and hard, I realized that Leeds dropping down would shock me significantly less than most other teams. They just don’t seem to have greatness written all over them at the moment, despite the team’s rich history and passionate fan base. Their transfer window so far looks like a net negative to my eye, what with the departing players including defensive cornerstone Pascal Strujik and the arriving players including solid-but-slightly-mid material like Harry Wilson.
17. Hull City
There’s always a method to my madness when I pick and choose which recently promoted team will take which slot in my predictions - I’m such a romantic that I always choose the team with the most gritty and romantic underdog narrative to be the one that barely survives the relegation zone. This year, that was an easy pick - while Hull City were a Premier League mainstay in my childhood, they’ve had a rough few years in the lower division, and their climb back up was quite remarkable.
In last year’s Championship, they didn’t finish third, fourth or even fifth, but sixth, just barely making it to the promotion play-offs - which they won against all odds. A team that manages to do that at the end of an otherwise uneven season has certainly proved to have grit, so I’m saying that they’ll lose a bunch of matches but win and tie just enough to live to fight another season in the Prem.
16. Newcastle United
I'd feel bad for these f**kers if it wasn't for the team's shady Big Oil ownership and generally unsportsmanlike playing in the past few seasons. After a steady rise and a bunch of hype for Newcastle being "the next big thing", their uninspiring 12th-place finish last season was a nice reminder that money alone doesn't always get you far in the beautiful game. Their transfer window is looking to be an absolute disasterclass, as they're losing key players like Tonali, Guimares, Gordon and Trippier, and their deals for any replacements keep falling through. They'll do well enough to steer clear of relegation, but only barely.
15. Brentford
Brentford has become a tough lot to predict in the past several seasons: their team is never all that great on paper, and their transfer windows aren't too exciting - but year after year, they end up playing solid football and placing significantly higher than one would think. They finished ninth last year, so I considered putting them in the upper midtable - but this year's Prem is looking stacked, and there are so many teams that should be doing better than this ragtag group of misfits. So, I'm putting them in lower midtable, but I won't be heartbroken if they prove me wrong!
14. Brighton & Hove Albion
As per usual, Brighton is having a tacitcally sound, slow-and-steady transfer window. Nothing too headline-grabbing, but getting rid of some past-their-prime material (James Milner, the streets will never forget you) and putting in some solid-if-not-too-flashy names (Pascal Strujik might bring a lot to their defense). The team finished eighth last season, and I reckon they'll still be winning a good amount of games - but at the same time, they'll be outperformed by a handful of teams that are pulling bolder strokes in their transfer windows and/or coaching staff.
13. Sunderland
Sunderland enjoyed an excellent, thoroughly expectation-defying campaign last season, finishing 7th in the league despite being freshly promoted from the previous season. Such a jump in performance quality makes a team's following season difficult to predict - some such cases lead to the team crashing and burning right after, whereas for others it's the start of a new golden age. With Sunderland, I'm going with neither extreme but rather a boring compromise - they'll have enough of last season's momentum to get solid results and remain a tough team to beat, but some of the underdog glory will have worn off. They'll have a good season, but not one as magical as 2025/26 was for them.
12. Bournemouth
They had a brilliant season two seasons ago, but they lost a bunch of key players in the transfer window so I put them significantly lower in last year's predictions - and the expectation-defying fuckers finished sixth. Still, being the stubborn guy that I am, I decided to double down and continue predicting a downward trajectory for the Cherries. Andoni Iraola, who coached them to the success of the past few seasons, left for bigger arenas this summer - and although Marco Rose is a solid replacement, it often takes time for a new manager to find their rhythm with the team.
11. Crystal Palace
Now this is a big deal: as long as I've done these predictions, I've always put midtable merchants Crystal Palace at exactly tenth, due to years and years of precedent of the team finishing around those markers. However, I decided to make a sweeping change this year: after finishing 10th in 23/24, 12th in 24/25 and 15th in 25/26, the team seems to be in a bit of a downward trajectory. Now, one can't overcorrect one's course or be too reactionary, so I'm not putting them at 15th or below - I'm just shifting my "always begin by placing Palace in the middle" with one placement, and will be doing so for the next few seasons unless the trajectory switches back upwards again.
10. Coventry City
Frank Lampard was a fantastic player back in the day - and although his managerial career didn't get to the best start (Chelsea might have been too big of a fish at the time), he has been getting results as the head coach of Coventry. The fresh and excited squad won the Championship last season, and out of the three promoted teams, I'm choosing them to be the dark horse that does really well. It's not just because they finished first - there just seems to be momentum at Coventry at the moment, and I think they'll be able to capitalize on that.
9. Everton
As I've been saying with a deep sigh in my predictions of the last several seasons - Everton are back. This causes mixed feelings in me as a Liverpool fan - on one hand, it's a joy to see Everton in the trenches, but on the other, I almost miss the days of my youth when it was a respectable enough team that the rivalry made sense and wasn't a total beatdown.
Those years might be rolling up again - after hitting rock bottom and barely escaping relegation in the 22/23 season, Everton's league finishes have been slowly climbing, culminating in a whopping 13th-place finish last season. I'm guessing that this will be the year that the Moyes boys break back into the top ten, which is a bad thing but also a good one - they're the villain you love to hate.
8. Tottenham Hotspur
In the past few years, I've had my fun with the ongoing crises in underperforming big teams like Tottenham - but now I'm making an exception, and expecting a big comeback from them. Of course, 8th is still not great when considering that they've been in multiple title races and a Champions League final in the last decade - but relative to their seventeenth-place finish and barely avoided relegation last season, 8th would be a whopping positive surprise for the club's sad present-day state.
Their transfer window is looking promising, with the purchases of talents like Tonali, Dubravka, Van Hecke and my man Andrew Robertson (they better treat him well). I wouldn't be terribly surprised if the Spurs continue to struggle, but more likely than not, they'll bounce back at least to some extent.
7. Fulham
There are always some fun underdog tales in the upper midtable, and this year, I'm counting on Fulham to have a brilliant run that'll secure them a Conference League spot! Unless they make some big pulls at the end of the transfer window, it looks like their summer has been more focused on selling than buying, but that's not necessarily a bad thing - Harry Wilson and Raul Jimenez weren't performing relative to expectations, so getting rid of 'dead weight' might be a blessing in disguise and a pathway for less experienced fresh faces to prove themselves.
Also, if I were a Fulham fan, I'd feel optimistic about Alvaro Arbeloa's appointment as head coach! He wasn't exactly a miracle worker as Real Madrid's interim manager, but I'd hardly blame the situation in that toxic locker room on him alone - given a slightly smaller team, I have a feeling that he's gonna cook.
6. Manchester City
This year's predictions are full of hot takes, and chief among them is this one - relative to expectations, Man City is gonna have an absolute stinker of a season.
Sure, there a few signs of promise - after losing last year's title race (and the one two years ago), the team will be hungry for revenge after their four consecutive league titles in the early 2020's. Another thing they have going for them is the purchase of Elliot Anderson, who has the potential to be a truly generational midfield player.
However, I feel that the cons outweigh the cons in their pre-season. Longtime manager Pep Guardiola left the team this year, and no matter how talented of a coach Enzo Maresca may be, you simply can't go through such a transition phase without some growing pains - I'm not sure if the Man City players and staff know how to exist without the presence of Pep, who embodied the club for a decade. Furthermore, as exciting as Anderson's transfer was, the outgoing transfers hold more weight in my book - with the departures of club staples like Rodri, John Stones and Bernardo Silva along with Pep, the club is in serious need of restructuring. I am guessing they'll be back to the title race in two or three seasons, but 2026/27 will be a weird reboot period for them.
5. Manchester United
And then there's these f**kers. Train Wreck FC is always a difficult one to predict, as there's always some drama and unsuccessful transfers and other bullshit going on - but there are also moments of brilliance in the mix, such as the remarkable form Bruno Fernandes was in last season. The club finished third in 25/26, so there might even be title race potential there - but I don't quite have that much faith in Michael Carrick's coaching. Still, I'm predicting that they'll finish above Man City for the first time since 2012/13 - the last time United won the league. And isn't that a major trophy in itself?
4. Liverpool
"And yes, I know what this means - if Liverpool doesn't win the league, you can blame me. Among other things, this is a test - if Liverpool wins, it means that my curse is broken, and I don't have to let my fear of magic correlations rule my annual predictions in the future. If they don't win, that'll confirm to me that the curse is real, and I'll never put Liverpool at #1 again"
That was me in last year's predictions. I am genuinely sorry, fellow Liverpool fans - I feel personally responsible for how our 2025/26 season went. It was sheer hubris that made me put them at #1, despite years of precedent that they hadn't won whenever I put them at #1 and actually did win that one time when I didn't.
Well, I won't be making that mistake again! I'm optimistic about Andoni Iraola's appointment as head coach, and the transfer window has been looking promising with signings like Victor Munoz, Jeremy Jacquet and Ronald Araujo. Still, the departures of figures like Salah and Robertson will affect the vibe of the team, and building a new era takes time. Placing fourth would be a slight improvement from last year's fifth-place finish, and then the upward trajectory could continue in the coming years. Obviously I'm hoping they prove me wrong and finish even higher, but #4 is where I'm putting my beloved Reds at!
3. Chelsea
No, no - let them cook. I know that Chelsea FC has been an active dumpster fire that no one can pretend to predict for about five years now, and who knows if Xabi Alonso is the right man for the job? It depends on which Xabi they're getting - the Xabi who lifted Bayer Leverkusen to a flawless season and historical Bundesliga title, or the Xabi who saw the devolution of Real Madrid into a toxic mess of cliques and egos under his watch.
Somehow, my money is more on the former - God only knows how deep-seated the issues at Real are, so you can hardly blame just the coach for them. Nothing can take away from what Xabi accomplished with Leverkusen - something only a truly brilliant manager could accomplish. I think he might just be the man to rein in this chaotic Chelsea era - there is a multitude of talented players there (even more so now that they've signed names like Morgan Rogers and Maxence Lacroix), who haven't been able to be the best versions of themselves. Maybe this is the season - if nothing else, I'm at least counting on the Blues to outperform their 10th-place finish from last season.
2. Aston Villa
I've seen enough - fourth in 23/24, sixth in 24/25 and fourth in 24/26...this Aston Villa momentum isn't a fluke, but the start of a new era that is playing a key part in destroying the myth of the 'Big Six'. And from the promise I've seen in this Villa generation, I dare say that the direction is more likely to continue up the table than down.
Unai Emery is such a magnificent coach, and he's been banging out results with this fresh, energetic team. I think that this is the season where they'll genuinely challenge for the title, and although they'll fall slightly short, it'll be enough for a close title race (who knows if Chelsea is in it as well? Or it could be Liverpool or ManU, since I don't actually know shit and am making these predictions largely off vibes). I really like the look of Villa's transfer window, focusing not on the biggest and most expensive names, but rather signings that appear tactical, well-researched and like the people in charge really know what's best for the team. The loss of Youri Tielemans to Manchester United will be felt, but it's looking like they're spending the money wisely to keep their level.
1. Arsenal
Yeah, I'm calling it - it's gonna be two for two. Well, more like two for five, when looking at how many consecutive years Arteta's Arsenal has been a genuine competitor in the title race - but still!
I wouldn't be too mad if this happened - obviously, I'm rooting for Liverpool, but if it's going to be someone else, I'd rather see Arsenal's glory continue for a while than for Manchester City to make a comeback or ManU rise from the grave (honestly, if Aston Villa has it in them, their victory would make me happier than Arsenal's - but these are my predictions, not my hopes).
Arsenal's league title didn't exactly come with comfortable margins, but it was still a very deserved win - they were the best team, and probably will continue to be that for another season. Trusting the process really did work, and I don't really see why this season would be any worse for them - if anything, the fact that they've now proved themselves capable of the big feat will build the young squad's confidence a great deal to decrease the chance of potential end-of-the-season bottle jobs. They have the league's best centre-back pairing in Saliba&Gabriel, the league's best midfielder in Declan Rice, and if his form from last season continues, the league's best keeper in David Raya. The Gunners might want to fortify their attack in the remaining weeks of the transfer window, but even with the material they have, it's not exactly a crisis - Bukayo Saka is a wizard with the ball as long as he stays fit, and Gyökeres started to look like he's finding his form towards the end of last season.
Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I celebrate my upcoming wedding by ranking the greatest love stories from TV.
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