Greetings, reader!
Well, my friend Teemu gave me this amazing challenge some weeks ago. For those not familiar with the term, a cold open is the first scene of a TV episode, in those cases where there's exactly one tone-setting scene before the opening credits. The U.S. version of The Office is famous for some of comedy TV's very finest cold opens, with many of them reaching a mythical status among fans. Well, I went and watched every single cold open, several times, in order to make and fine-tune a ranking of all 173 of them, from worst to best. You're welcome, world.
173. Stanley has trouble with the stairs (Stairmageddon, Season 9 Episode 19)
I usually don't agree with the people saying The Office 'wouldn't fly today' - a vast majority of the inappropriate moments are satire, making fun of people with offensive attitudes and behavior instead of relying on offensive attitudes for the laughs. However, there are some unfortunate exceptions like this cold open, where the 'comedy' seems more pointed at the physical shape of others than at idiots with body-shaming attitudes. Disappointing.
172. Michael pretends to be blind (The Lover, Season 6 Episode 7)
Not as way-over-the-line as the previous one, but very borderline - Michael Scott succeeded in being a clever parody of certain attitudes for a vast majority of the time, but some instances are definitely in a grey area from a modern standpoint. It could be argued that the scene makes fun of people who make fun of blind people and therefore is okay, but it's too close to comfort and thus isn't very funny.
171. Katie calls Jim at work (The Fire, Season 2 Episode 4)
And then we get from the ones that aren't funny because they're offensive to the ones that aren't funny because, well, they just aren't. The first season didn't do cold opens, and when season 2 started to do them, it definitely took the writers a while to perfect the recipe. This scene is basically just a scene, with no clear premise or punchline, and an atmosphere reminiscent of The Office's original UK version (but not in a good way).
170. Parking problems (Chair Model, Season 4 Episode 10)
Not as bad as the Stairmageddon one that I ranked at the very bottom, but a lighter version of the same didn't-age-well phenomenon.
169. Michael has to fire someone (Halloween, Season 2 Episode 5)
Another early one from before they cracked the code on making the cold opens funny, this one sets up the main plot of the episode. This usually isn't a great sign - The Office's best cold opens are almost always the random skits that are completely divorced from the rest of the episode.
168. Diwali preparations (Diwali, Season 3 Episode 6)
Another one where it's mainly just setting up the episode's events, and Michael's humor isn't on the level seen in most of his cold opens.
167. Michael cancels his hotel reservation (Manager and Salesman, Season 6 Episode 16)
The writers didn't seem to know where to go with this one - it starts out promising, but it leaves you waiting for a punchline that never really happens. They can't all be winners!
166. Jim accidentally bites his lip (Lice, Season 9 Episode 10)
Like, the whole joke is that Jim accidentally bit his lip and it hurts. Most of the final season's cold opens are alright, but there are a few that looked like big 'slowly running out of ideas' signs, this one chief among them.
165. Billboard sabotage (Garden Party, Season 8 Episode 4)
One of the best episodes in the show's worst season has the season's worst cold open (sorry for the brain freeze). This scene is built on easy and lazy dick jokes, with Andy at the center of it all, which is sure to make the viewer miss the satirical nuance of the Michael Scott era.
164. Michael pretends to be a baby (The Convict, Season 3 Episode 9)
Speaking of the Michael Scott era: while the series is arguably television's greatest example of cringe comedy, there are a select few moments where the regional manager forgets the comedy half and is just cringe. This is one of those moments.
163. Kevin as Cookie Monster (Secretary's Day, Season 6 Episode 22)
This one starts out funny, but is a little too mean - I know, that's supposed to be the joke, but instead of laughing, I just end up feeling bad for Kevin. Someone could've stood up for the poor guy, man.
162. Pam's wedding prep (Conflict Resolution, Season 2 Episode 21)
Another one of season 2's fairly laugh-free premise-setting intros, but I'm giving this one mild bonus points for the casual and very unexplored mention of Dwight ordering deer urine online.
161. Dwight and Gabe argue about who is stronger (Turf War, Season 8 Episode 23)
Gabe just never completely clicked as a major character on the level of the others. Jim and Dwight are okay here, but they work better together with, y'know, better characters.
160. Drug testing (Drug Testing, Season 2 Episode 20)
Dwight gets to live out his cop fantasies. It's semi-amusing, but there is a strong sense that the writers in the later seasons could've done more with the premise.
159. David Wallace calls Michael about a job opening (Beach Games, Season 3 Episode 22)
This one starts out with some humor, but the skit is interrupted as the episode's plot begins halfway through the cold open, and we never really get a resolution.
158. Dwight hires Nate to take care of the hornet nets (Sex Ed, Season 7 Episode 4)
Christ, this one is brutal, both in the sense of Dwight's manner of finding cheap labor and in Nate's tactic with the hornets. Don't get me wrong, I love me some bleak humor, but this feels like it would fit It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia better than The Office.
157. Women in the workplace (Boys and Girls, Season 2 Episode 15)
Built on the same premise as many of the great cold opens (people are trying to get work done and Michael keeps disrupting it by being himself), this one just isn't as good as its counterparts.
156. Michael isn't great with kids (Take Your Daughter to Work Day, Season 2 Episode 18)
On paper, 'people bring their kids to work and Michael interacts with them' could be a fantastic cold open. But, the writers kinda phoned this one in, so there aren't any standout lines or moments to make it special.
155. Pam and Angela return from maternity leave (Special Project, Season 8 Episode 14)
Angela being mean and passive-aggressive to Pam - classic, sure, but a bit tired after eight seasons of similar jokes.
154. Michael has gum in his hair (Night Out, Season 4 Episode 11)
Sure, many amazing cold opens are built on physical comedy. But having gum in one's hair is quite mild in terms of physical comedy, especially when compared to what the show has mustered at its best.
153. Opening the garage sale (Garage Sale, Season 7 Episode 19)
This one is a bit of a dud, more focused on introducing the episode's premise than being funny. But Pam's ironic point about consumerism always makes me smirk!
152. Pam and Meredith talk with the sound guy (Junior Salesman, Season 9 Episode 13)
This one continues season 9's storyline of Brian, the documentary's boom operator, in a decent manner. In doing that, it forgets the comedy element.
151. Andy's softball fail montage (Work Bus, Season 9 Episode 4)
For the most part, this is a classic example of Andy's era as regional manager being worse than Michael's. But the small 'FAIL' effect in the video's 'In Memoriam' section, being in such horrible taste, is a guaranteed chuckle.
150. Figuring out the password (WUPHF.com, Season 7 Episode 9)
Jim, Dwight, Michael and Pam are all semi-amusing in this one, but none are at their best. The highlight is probably Dwight suggesting "0000", then "0001", to which Jim responds "Okay I'm not trying every number"
149. Michael sticks his head in wet cement (Did I Stutter?, Season 4 Episode 12)
Fairly run-of-the-mill Michael Scott hijinks, sadly more forgettable than many others of its kind.
148. Andy screens the Halloween costumes (Spooked, Season 8 Episode 5)
There are some funny moments, although this one is weighed down by season 8's typical "I just know this would be funnier if it was Michael in the manager's chair instead of Andy" feeling. Still, his interaction with Meredith is pretty good: "I thought you were at your sister's funeral" / "What I said was 'my sister's funeral is this weekend' - didn't say I was going"
147. The balloon is falling (Get the Girl, Season 8 Episode 19)
Not one of the more comedic ones, but this one is semi-deep in its reflective tone. Also, the ending is cute.
146. Michael's going to New York (Valentines Day, Season 2 Episode 16)
This one is mostly a fairly mundane plot-setting season 2 cold open, but a few moments of genuine humor (like Michael referring to New York as the city of love) lift it up.
145. Preparing for the job fair (Job Fair, Season 4 Episode 13)
Darryl continues to prove to be one of the more likable characters, and "Wanna get some fresh blood, really youth-a-nize this place" is classic Michael Scott (get it, it sounds like "euthanize"?).
144. David yells at Andy for the boat incident (Moving On, Season 9 Episode 16)
Not gonna lie, it's satisfying to see Andy facing consequences for the god-awful boat escapade. Other than that, pretty standard fare.
143. The knights of the night (Ultimatum, Season 7 Episode 13)
This one has the potential to be elite weird Dwight humor, but the rest of the scene doesn't quite hold up to the intrigue raised by the first seconds.
142. Erin pretends to be a hipster to attract hype for the Sabre store opening (Test the Store, Season 8 Episode 17)
Otherwise a bit dull, but major points for Erin's adorable "Psst, it's really me, Erin!!" and the beaming smile that follows.
141. Michael's quitting story (Two Weeks, Season 5 Episode 21)
Season 5 had the best cold opens, and one of many arguments for this is that its lowest-ranked cold open ranks much higher than the lowest ones of any other season. Even season 5's least-memorable cold open is made decent by Pam's delivery of "Michael finally has a story we want to hear...and he knows it".
140. Andy's Footloose routine (Jury Duty, Season 8 Episode 13)
It's just Andy dancing. No clever premise, no punchline, no satire, just the regional manager letting (foot)loose for better or worse. Adequate physical comedy!
139. Michael babysits Jim (Koi Pond, Season 6 Episode 8)
No big points for comedy, but this scene fleshes out the problems with the sixth season's two bosses -narrative, in an interesting-enough way, so I'll let it slide.
138. Chore wheel (Roy's Wedding, Season 9 Episode 2)
Poor Pam, always being the voice of reason and always being ignored. This one has some decent office shenanigans, although they had inevitably gotten a bit less creative by the ninth season.
137. Michael introduces the ad guys to the office (Local Ad, Season 4 Episode 5)
Michael's botched introduction of various employees is decent cringe comedy, and Kevin pointing to Oscar and saying "Mama Bear" is sweet.
136. Michael's message for his son (Ben Franklin, Season 3 Episode 14)
For the most part, a bit forgettable (at least by the high standard of The Office cold opens). But the camera turning to Dwight shaking his head as Michael's instructions on jump-starting a car go wrong is fantastic.
135. Meet Harvey, Michael's computer (Traveling Salesman, Season 3 Episode 12)
Michael, as per usual, is an absolute ass, and it's nice to see Jim and Pam having their fun at his expense in return.
134. Michael's magic trick (Cocktails, Season 3 Episode 17)
Michael's opening narration makes for a decent grin, and Jim's facial expression to the cameras when covering the key is elite.
133. Dwight brings a dead goose into the office (A Benihana Christmas, Season 3 Episode 10)
While this scene isn't quite as funny as it has the potential to be, you can't be completely unfunny with this premise. Paul Lieberstein's comedic timing in the role of Toby is as great as always.
132. Michael and Dwight's fairly forgettable Ferris Bueller thing (Branch Wars, Season 4 Episode 6)
The actual hijinks-y part of this cold open, Michael and Dwight preparing to play hooky, is a bit lazy and generic for the series. But points for the plot around it - Karen Filippelli returns, and Stanley announces he's leaving, which certainly raises the viewer's curiosity for the rest of the episode.
131. Dwight bribes everyone with bagels (Double Date, Season 6 Episode 9)
Dwight continues his long-con plan to get Jim hired from his co-managerial position. It's pretty funny seeing him act so wannabe-Macchiavellian.
130. DeAngelo's conference room meeting (The Inner Circle, Season 7 Episode 23)
The first episode after Michael's departure can't help but feel a bit empty, but the writers knew what they were doing. Yes, Will Ferrell's short-lived character DeAngelo is annoying, but that's very much the point, so we would warm up to whoever came after him. In retrospect, this is pretty well-written.
129. Phyllis is listening to the Fifty Shades audiobook (Promos, Season 9 Episode 19)
The joke here is quite mid-tier in itself, but the physical comedy towards the end (both Phyllis and Andy getting a bucket of water dumped over them by Dwight) saves the scene from mediocrity.
128. Dwight's head is stuck in a pumpkin (Here Comes Treble, Season 9 Episode 5)
No points for originality (see F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the turkey). But, come on, it's still a pretty hilarious visual.
127. Silent streak (Trivia, Season 8 Episode 11)
A very by-the-numbers cold open - the office is up to some sort of tomfoolery, and then it all goes awry. Not among the most humorous and unforgettable ones, but successful in what you'd expect from a cold open.
126. Movie Monday (The Coup, Season 3 Episode 3)
The early seasons have plenty of cold opens that aren't memorable enough to be etched into the viewer's memory (unless you've seen the series like 15 times - hello Miska, if you're reading this), but are decent enough that it makes you feel nostalgic for the show's early seasons when you re-watch the scene and remember its existence after not thinking about it for years. This is a prime example.
125. Michael and his jeans (The Client, Season 2 Episode 7)
And here's another example of the oft-forgotten vintage scenes described above. It's short and simple, but the montage of Michael goofing around in his jeans is a testament to Steve Carell's gift with physical comedy.
124. Michael misses Pam (Crime Aid, Season 5 Episode 5)
It's actually really sweet that Michael misses Pam while she's in New York - and it's very, very on-brand for the character that he expresses this emotion by calling her at work and being obnoxious.
123. St. Patrick's Day (St. Patrick's Day, Season 6 Episode 19)
Some pretty run-of-the-mill, semi-funny in-character moments for Ryan, Kelly and Meredith, topped off by Michael's "It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas" to really set the mood. This is the point in the list where these are starting to be quite good, but still far from the laugh-out-loud funny or otherwise iconic ones.
122. Michael asks Pam to look into adopting Asian babies (The Convention, Season 3 Episode 2)
Pam's facial expression after Michael makes the seemingly completely unrelated points "Did you see Oprah yesterday?" and "I'm going to be a father" is priceless. Other than that, pretty average.
121. Michael is jealous of a baby otter (Whistleblower, Season 6 Episode 26)
The premise is only fairly amusing, but Steve Carell really sells it with his line delivery and facial expressions, especially towards the end.
120. Erin helps Darryl be sneaky (Vandalism, Season 9 Episode 14)
What appears to be a hijinks-heavy scheme by Erin and Darryl takes a wholesome turn, when we find out halfway through the cold open that Darryl isn't trying to fool anyone but is letting Erin enjoy the feeling of sneaking around because he's such a decent guy.
119. Invitations to the dinner party (Dinner Party, Season 4 Episode 9)
This one definitely focuses more on setting up the episode's plot than being particularly funny, but I'm letting it slide because it sets up one of the greatest episodes in the series, and every part of that story is important.
118. Michael thinks there's a terrorist attack (Email Surveillance, Season 2 Episode 9)
One's enjoyment of scenes like this really depends on where you land on the more grey-area instances of the satirical instances of Michael being a jackass. The comedic timing in the scene's ending is objectively good, as long as you accept the premise, but I do see the premise as being a bit too far out there for modern sensitivities even though it is satire.
117. Michael asks Oscar for colonoscopy advice (The Meeting, Season 6 Episode 2)
Same thing as in the previous one - ha ha, Michael is making homophobic assumptions, et cetera. With me, it really depends on my mood from day to day - sometimes I enjoy these scenes as the goal clearly is to make fun of homophobic attitudes, but on more cynical days I pick up hints that the writers are trying to play it both ways so that homophobes themselves would also find the scene funny for the wrong reasons.
116. Dwight runs between the two bosses (The Promotion, Season 6 Episode 3)
The dynamic between Michael, Dwight and Jim is so good that even their less funny scenes are still pretty funny.
115. Michael's cosmetic tweaks (The Banker, Season 6 Episode 14)
Michael's rambling narration here actually makes sense...until he botches it with the last sentence, in a very Michael Scott fashion.
114. Dwight's treasure (Last Day in Florida, Season 8 Episode 18)
This one feels like two good ideas for a cold open jumbled into one, the first being Andy accidentally making his bad news sound like Dwight had died and the second being the employees wanting to open Dwight's treasure. The scene's structure is a bit disjointed, but there are some decent laughs in the mix.
113. Michael rides Oscar's bike (The Sting, Season 7 Episode 5)
Oh how I wish to have one fraction of Michael Scott's (completely unwarranted) self-confidence. Proudly exclaiming "You never forget!" straight after bumping into a parked car at a slow speed and falling down? Oh to be able to face humiliating moments in such a manner.
112. Pam fakes going into labor to get out of things (Gettysburg, Season 8 Episode 8)
Give Pam a break for this one - she's the moral compass for the swarm of idiots around her so often, she deserves to be a jackass herself every once in a while. Not the funniest or most believable cold open, but major points for the hilarious delivery of Ryan's random True Blood rant, which I find funnier with each re-watch.
111. Learning Spanish (Body Language, Season 6 Episode 23)
Quite an average Michael Scott goof-off, with the definitive high point being his failed attempt to make a "That's what she said" joke in Spanish.
110. Michael isn't engaged (Customer Survey, Season 5 Episode 7)
Oh God. Painful, painful cringe comedy. Gervais and Merchant would be proud.
109. Andy is confronted about his baby voice (Scott's Tots, Season 6 Episode 12)
Some people complained that Andy's character was too similar to Michael, but hear me out: their scenes together are fantastic for that precise reason, as they often devolve into two manchildren trying to out-manchild each other.
108. Ryan&Kelly's divorce announcement (The Search, Season 7 Episode 15)
It's pretty hilarious how no one is on either one's side. The Office has a knack for creating characters with very specific personal qualities, and milking a lot of great humor about said characters just acting in the way you'd expect, and this scene does that well for the self-centered, toxic couple.
107. Dwight pulls a prank on Jim&Pam (Café Disco, Season 5 Episode 27)
Yeah, it definitely isn't as funny this way around, although it's cute to see Dwight trying to get back at the pranksters who always give him a hard time.
106. Video call with Andy (The Whale, Season 9 Episode 7)
I shouldn't like this one, because it's a part of the overall lousy boat storyline, but moments like Erin's silly interpretation of No Woman, No Cry and the cut from Andy's over-dramatic survival mode to Darryl saying "He's been sailing for two days" to the documentary team make it worthwhile.
105. Dwight tries to talk Jim into a sales team tactic (Suit Warehouse, Season 9 Episode 11)
A fairly uneventful scene for the most part, but Dwight's accidental "Love you" to Jim at the end of their call is adorable. They really do like each other deep down.
104. Ryan knows all the answers to Dwight's riddles (Initiation, Season 3 Episode 5)
Other people than Jim irritating Dwight? Never as funny as Jim irritating Dwight, but Dwight getting irritated is still funny enough. A nice extra-touch from the writers is how Ryan gets every answer from fewer and fewer words towards the end.
103. Delivering the Dundie nominations (Michael's Last Dundies, Season 7 Episode 21)
None of the interactions here are comedy gold, but they're all pretty decent - Stanley's grumpy reaction, Michael egging Toby's house, a hungover Meredith being wholesomely excited over her Dundie nomination et cetera.
102. Ryan fills in for Pam (The Carpet, Season 2 Episode 14)
I'm a big softie for the story of Jim and Pam (who am I kidding, I'm a softie in general), so moments like Jim constantly glancing at the receptionist's desk by accident because he's used to exchanging stolen glances with Pam just melt my heart.
101. Michael teaches the office about foreign customs (Business Trip, Season 5 Episode 8)
Now we're getting to classic, wittily satirical inappropriate Michael, and it's good stuff. Also, "In Italy, you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite" is a pretty great line.
100. Dwight tries to one-up Jim&Pam's sales tactic (The Delivery, Season 6 Episode 17)
Dwight thinking his plan is so clever, only to immediately shoot himself in the foot with "goat fungus", is pretty good. And this is only at #100! From hereon out, these are class.
99. Oscar finds a dog stuck in a car (Lotto, Season 8 Episode 3)
Oscar acts a bit out of character here, but Jim addresses this with his bewildered facial expression so I'm cool with it. An otherwise average cold open saved by Kevin's comic relief.
98. Dwight day care (Counseling, Season 7 Episode 2)
Not as hilarious as some, but definitely an amusing scene. Dwight's confidence in his terrible day care center is funny, as is Jim's reaction to it - and we also get some comedic mileage from Dwight's cousin Mose (I will take this opportunity to remind readers of the important fact that the guy who plays Mose is Michael Schur, who produced and wrote on The Office, co-created Parks & Recreation and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and created The Good Place).
97. Oscar is worried whether or not Angela knows about him and the Senator (The Target, Season 9 Episode 8)
Very solid know-your-characters-and-have-fun-with-their-traits humor. "We'll just have to see - if she's cold and awkward and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual" is an excellent line.
96. Jim receives a demerit (Women's Appreciation, Season 3 Episode 21)
Rainn Wilson and John Krasinski are just so f**king good at playing two coworkers with a love-hate relationship. Even the less memorable Jim&Dwight cold opens, like this one, are better than tens and tens of ones focusing on other character pairings, because you just can't really go wrong with a Jim&Dwight interaction.
95. Jim is Gone (Gay Witch Hunt, Season 3 Episode 1)
We begin the third season with an immediate aftermath to Jim&Pam's iconic kiss, heartbreakingly witnessing that Pam still insists that she'll marry Roy. We then cut to Dwight, amusingly fake-crying about Jim leaving Dunder Mifflin and then getting all serious with "FALSE. I do not miss him".
94. Michael thinks he saw Johnny Depp (New Leads, Season 6 Episode 20)
Not a super-memorable cold open, but a perfect illustration of what I love so much in Jim's character. He messes around with Michael, comes close to ruining his fun, but then he gives the guy another delusion to go on about because he knows it'll make him happy. God bless.
93. Dwight's orb (Performance Review, Season 2 Episode 8)
Bursting Dwight's bubble (or orb, to be exact) may have been a bit harsh from Jim, but this scene does a good job fleshing out what was still building to be the show's ultimately funniest character dynamic.
92. The breakfast sandwich (Office Olympics, Season 2 Episode 3)
And here we have a true historical artifact: The Office's first-ever cold open. While this mildly amusing interaction between Michael and Ryan isn't half as funny as the best cold opens would grow to be, I give it points for its massive influence on the show's style and on sitcom cold opens in general. The breakfast sandwich sequence walked so that Kevin's famous chili, Asian Jim and many others could run.
91. Sabre Hygiene Day (Christening, Season 7 Episode 7)
Classic Dwight - acts like an ass in a manner that invites comeuppance, has a chance to just admit that he's wrong and is too stubborn to do that, and therefore suffers the consequences of his "come at me with your germs" rant. A weird hill to die on, but it makes for decent comedy.
90. Stanley's Christmas rant (Christmas Wishes, Season 8 Episode 10)
A natural first reaction to this scene is "Jeez, what's up with Stanley, he usually doesn't get hung up on stuff like this?". And then we cut to Jim saying he got Stanley tickets to see Lewis Black for his birthday, which "might not have been the best idea". Suddenly his rant makes perfect sense, and is fairly hilarious.
89. Jim pretends to be Michael (Blood Drive, Season 5 Episode 18)
As far as mistaken-identity hijinks go, this one is pretty tame, but Jim's quick thinking does save the day in a neat manner. I also love Pam's existential facial expression when she utters the line "Vending machine..."
88. Dwight is shunning Andy (Safety Training, Season 3 Episode 19)
Dwight's explanation about his Amish shunning technique is classic Dwight, taking himself so seriously on such a weird thing. Jim's clever way of not playing along is also a nice touch.
87. Our awkward introduction to DeAngelo Vickers (Training Day, Season 7 Episode 20)
DeAngelo isn't the best character, but his similarities to Michael make for very decent comedic mileage in their first meeting. It's pretty hilarious how long it takes for both jackasses to realize who they're talking to.
86. The Christmas tree (Christmas Party, Season 2 Episode 10)
Dwight and Michael carrying the Christmas tree into the office is funny in a specific way - a very "the early seasons of The Office" or even "the original British Office" way. No witty, charming Hollywood banter, but a lot of comedic mileage from cringe, deadpan humor and a slightly uncomfortable atmosphere.
85. Michael wasn't invited to Ryan's camping trip (Survivor Man, Season 4 Episode 7)
The keys to good comedy include timing, repetition, delivery and repetition. The various ways in which several characters repeat the same point in this one makes for a good chuckle or two.
84. Michael goofs around with the intercom (Lecture Circuit, Season 5 Episode 16)
Run-of-the-mill Michael Scott horseplay; you get used to it when watching the early seasons, but oh man, you miss it once he's gone. An underrated highpoint of this scene is when Creed is completely fooled by Michael's "IF YOU LOOK OUT OF THE WINDOWS ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE RIGHT NOW..." shtick - I guess he thinks they really are on an airplane.
83. Kevin finds out about Oscar and the Senator (The Boat, Season 9 Episode 6)
"A character accidentally finds out another character's secret" is a tried-and-true sitcom trope. This instance isn't its most legendary usage, but you can never go very wrong with this narrative. The scene is built humorously, and leaves one excited for the rest of the episode.
82. Morse code (The Cover-Up, Season 6 Episode 24)
As far as Jim's (and Pam's, in this case) pranks on Dwight go, this is one of the less memorable ones, as there's no real payoff and nothing inherently funny about the premise. But, even the worst practical jokes are better than many other gags seen in the series, so a subpar prank still makes it all the way to #82. Pam's dead-serious expression as she starts to blink in morse is pretty damn funny.
81. Michael has completed his movie (Threat Level Midnight, Season 7 Episode 17)
You know how I made it clear at the bottom end of the list that the cold opens that set up the episode's plot are generally among the worst ones? Well, there most definitely are some select exceptions to that rule. That is the case when we open on a normal-seeming work situation, only for it to end in badly edited gunfire, followed by the THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT title card, and then Michael telling the documentary crew that he has completed his movie. This leaves viewers, especially first-time ones, with such a delicious sense of anticipation for the episode they're about to watch.
80. Dwight becomes acting manager (Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager, Season 7 Episode 24)
And here's another one where the plot-setting actually works, because it's just so good. Dwight's facial expression as the phone starts to ring is so good - you immediately realize what call he's getting, and that he knows what call he's getting, which is sure to leave viewers terrified about what's about to go down but also inescapably touched for the character - yes, he could be a lot, but he deserved this, man.
79. Vomit epidemic (Niagara, Season 6 Episode 4)
This one was hard to rank - it's objectively well-written comedy with impeccable timing and hilarious escalation, yet it is so gross and therefore not fun to watch. 79th place seems like a good compromise to balance it out.
78. Oscar's 'it gets better' video keeps getting interrupted (Free Family Portrait Studio, Season 8 Episode 24)
It's sweet what Oscar is doing, and the escalating chain of interruptions is decent cringe comedy. Poor guy.
77. Pam hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane (Paper Airplane, Season 9 Episode 20)
Did Aaron Sorkin write this one? Seriously, opening with the Chekov's gun of Toby having an eyepatch and then cutting to the earlier day's paper airplane contest for context is quality storytelling for a sitcom's cold open. Also, Creed is his weird self.
76. Jim misses Dwight (The Return, Season 3 Episode 13)
Dwight continuing to add words in his "How would I describe myself? Three words..." job interview moment is pretty darn funny. As is Andy being so obnoxious that Jim has to admit that he misses his predecessor.
75. Recording the meeting (Back from Vacation, Season 3 Episode 11)
Speaking of Andy, the way in which he turns a wholesome moment of messing with Dwight in good taste into vastly uncomfortable cringe by taking it way too far ("I am now chopping Phyllis' head off with a chainsaw!") is really in the vein of what shows like The Office are all about.
74. Following the Scranton Strangler's arrest (Viewing Party, Season 7 Episode 8)
Very solid avoiding-work-at-the-workplace comedy. "What if it's another Waco?" / "It's pronounced 'wacko' " is an extremely underrated dialogue.
73. Dwight uses his feet as hands (China, Season 7 Episode 10)
Another semi-classic Jim&Dwight moment. It's so satisfying to follow Jim realizing the perfect way to disprove Dwight's latest annoying thing, calmly put forth his hypothesis, and follow as Dwight can't help but prove his point due to his stubborn pride.
72. The box from Sabre (Sabre, Season 6 Episode 15)
A bit mundane premise-wise, but there are a ton of small hilarious moments and details in this scene that make it stick out, such as Erin and Michael's idiotic scissor-throwing thing (and Pam's utter shock at it), as well as Creed's random "Have you tried making everything smaller?".
71. Michael is really into The Devil Wears Prada (Money, Season 4 Episode 4)
Mostly a pretty standard goofy Michael Scott opening, but it ranks ahead several others thanks to Pam's brilliantly acted moment-of-happy-realization-turned-to-devastating-second-realization in the end. "He's gonna try to kill me" right before the opening credits start to roll is gold.
70. Knock-knock jokes and a ding-dong joke (Golden Ticket, Season 5 Episode 19)
The dynamic of the show's four best characters on full display: Dwight takes himself too seriously, Michael doesn't take anything seriously enough, Jim finds a way to make what's happening all the more fun, while Pam stays professional and just tries to do her job but still finds the time to be amused by Jim's antics.
69. Standing desk (Mrs. California, Season 8 Episode 9)
I love it how Dwight accepts defeat, with a look of reflective serenity in his eyes, right before Jim pushes him over. An otherwise average cold open, but with an outstanding last few seconds.
68. Michael has to take his fake phone call (The Deposition, Season 4 Episode 8)
Pretty standard getting-into-a-tough-spot-because-of-a-lie humor, but it works like a charm. On one hand, you'd like to see the scene play out further to witness just how Michael handles the call, but on the other, there's something beautiful about cutting to the opening credits right at "Hiya, buddy", leaving the horrible scenes about to follow to the viewer's imagination.
67. Jim tricks Dwight into fighting himself (Murder, Season 6 Episode 10)
We're really starting to get to the good stuff here! This is a funny and memorable Jim&Dwight moment, and one that clearly captivates the whole office into following the shenanigans (even Stanley looks mildly entertained).
66. Jim quizzes Dwight on when the apocalypse will happen (Todd Packer, Season 7 Episode 18)
This one goes on for hilariously long (and the cuts in between imply that what we see of the "how many months till the apocalypse" conversation is only the tip of the iceberg).
65. Smokey is dead and Ryan is devastated (Fundraiser, Season 8 Episode 22)
Ryan, especially in the later seasons, is such a perfect satire of a certain type of pretentious douchebag, and this scene is a prime example. I love Pam's commitment to prove what a hypocrite he's being. Top notch character parody.
64. Everyone finds out about Jim&Pam (Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Season 4 Episode 2)
There's a lot to love here - plot-wise you have a big step in the show's best love story, wholesomeness-wise you have Michael being genuinely happy about the big news in an endearing way, and humor-wise you've got Dwight's hilariously illogical "They could both do better", Angela infamously calling Pam "the office mattress", and Andy's nonchalant way of implying that he considers Jim to be better-looking than himself.
63. Dwight's ridiculous new security measures (A.A.R.M., Season 9 Episode 22)
The penultimate episode of the entire series begins on an amusingly dystopian note, as we take a gander at Dunder Mifflin's new security under Regional Manager Dwight Schrute. Seeing Dwight (once again) getting into a jam due to his stubborn pride is good fun, and the ending with Creed ("I'm saving a fortune on dry cleaning") is great.
62. There's no limit to what Stanley won't notice (Costume Contest, Season 7 Episode 6)
This is definitely one of the more memorable ones, even if quite a few are ranked ahead of it either due to being even more unforgettable or just funny and/or clever in other, more subtle ways. But, yeah, the employees teaming up to test Stanley's attention makes for excellent workplace hijinks, and it's nice to see even Dwight getting the premise and being in on the joke and not being the butt of the joke for once.
61. Getting good at throwing cheese puffs (Heavy Competition, Season 5 Episode 24)
This one is short, sweet and quite adorable. The 'Michael Scott Paper Company' storyline is arguably the best multi-episode story arch the series ever did, and even the cold opens of those few episodes are great, as we witness a different sort of workplace fun with the dynamic of the Michael-Pam-Ryan trio. Even something as simple as throwing cheese puffs into each others' mouths can be pretty great when you got this set of writers and actors.
60. Recyclops (Shareholder Meeting, Season 6 Episode 11)
This one is just so good. The premise of Dwight's over-done Earth Day character is quite amazing in its own right, and details like Stanley's wonderfully out-of-character remembering of Recylops lore and Pam's pure excitement at seeing the character lift it further yet.
59. The employees trick Michael into letting them leave early (Company Picnic, Season 5 Episode 28)
Speaking of nice moments, this might just take the cake as the most wholesome cold open (it would at the very least make the top five). With the usual cringe comedy antics of The Office, you anticipate for the plan at hand to go wrong in some way, but it never does - everyone works together, the trick succeeds, and we end with the employees clapping and cheering as Dwight and Jim do matching finger guns to the camera. We even get the magnificent 'horse doctor' joke in the middle of this one.
58. Push-up contest (Happy Hour, Season 6 Episode 21)
Stanley is the man, man.
57. Everyone is the joker for Halloween (Employee Transfer, Season 5 Episode 6)
"Gordon Gekko" / "Oh, from the insurance commercials?" is elite dialogue. Pam also rocks in this one, as per usual.
56. The fundamentals of business (Mafia, Season 6 Episode 6)
Upon re-watching these for the purposes of the list, you notice a lot of genius details that might escape the first-time viewers. One of my favorites is the timing of Toby's exit here - he starts to rise from his seat to leave the room already before Michael gets angry and tells him to leave, as their dynamic is so etched in stone that he already knows what's coming. Beautiful comedy writing.
55. Sprinting at the radar gun (The Duel, Season 5 Episode 12)
Yeah, they don't always have to have cleverly written payoffs or legendary punchlines. This is just a fairly random scene of the Dunder Mifflin crew finding a new way to goof off instead of working, and it works - it's entertaining, it's silly, and it thoroughly does its job as a cold open.
54. Does Stanley have a mustache? (Welcome Party, Season 8 Episode 20)
The premise of this cold open is weirdly accurate, because we as viewers can relate: Stanley has been in the series since the beginning, and we see him in every episode, yet on command, you can't remember if he has a mustache or not. The writers really have their fun with the premise, fleshing out the guessing-game (and involving the viewer in the process) until the reveal at the very end.
53. Everyone finds out Jim and Pam are engaged (Business Ethics, Season 5 Episode 3)
Aw, shucks, I'm a sucker for the sweet moments. Of course, true to the show's cringe comedy nature, most of the colleagues' reactions to the big news are hilariously bad in their own special ways. But Michael being absolutely thrilled by the news is a wholesome way to wrap the scene up.
52. Erin takes Andy's 'fake call' instructions too far (Pam's Replacement, Season 8 Episode 7)
Well, if you're wondering why the possibly most wholesome cold open of them all was only at #59, it's because this series does cringe comedy so incredibly well (especially in the cold opens). I can't help but laugh out loud at the moment where Erin says "Your mother died", as the whole situation turns to unbearable and absurd from thereon out. Ed Helms and Ellie Kemper provide some of their best comedic acting here, momentarily making you forget that the show is past its prime and how much you miss Michael Scott.
51. How fast is Dwight? (The Merger, Season 3 Episode 8)
"I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose...and a panther" is a fantastically bizarre line. I also love Pam's reflective moment here, momentarily becoming self-aware and questioning the ethics of the fun she has at Dwight's expense.
50. Michael arrives for the interview on the wrong day (The Job, Season 3 Episode 23)
Going straight from the line "The other branch managers are total morons" to "Hey, Pam, I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally, I'll be like three hours late" is the kind of thing that the comedy genre is all about.
49. Dwight is in mourning (The Farm, Season 9 Episode 17)
So many great details - Creed's "new glasses" observation, Dwight's line about his mother being like an aunt and his aunt being like a mother, Kev's "Yep, slightly acidic" comment et cetera. This opening also features one of the best cuts from cold open to opening credits, as cutting away right as Dwight begins to throw his dirtball and scream is delicious.
48. Michael agrees with everything Jim is saying because he's wearing a tux (New Boss, Season 5 Episode 20)
Jim knows what he's doing here, and it's great fun. Dwight saying "Mr. Peanut is NOT classy! He is a REGULAR peanut!" with the utmost seriousness is enough to land this in the top fifty.
47. Kevin fills in as receptionist (Dream Team, Season 5 Episode 22)
While Kevin and the comically bad job he's doing is the central premise of this scene, it is Andy who rises to be the cold open's MVP - Ed Helms' delivery of "You're murdering the nard dog!" is funnier than it has any right to be, and his emotional expression to the backdrop of everyone else celebrating at the end is undeniably amusing.
46. Angela, Pam & Oscar take turns badmouthing each other (After Hours, Season 8 Episode 16)
The premise here is very funny and its own, and the end result is lifted further up by Angela's hilariously on-brand take on adoption, as well as Oscar's delivery of "Un-be-lie-vab-le!" at the end.
45. You've been meatballed (Pool Party, Season 8 Episode 12)
This cold open is already on very solid ground with the amusing introduction of the weirdly specific "You've been meatballed!" premise. However, what truly ranks it in the big leagues is the double-cross plot twist ending, making it one of the more clever and satisfying cold opens.
44. Darryl's condolence card (PDA, Season 7 Episode 16)
Yeah, this is just a funny (provided you have at least somewhat of a dark sense of humor) misunderstanding scene. Nothing earth-shattering, but very comedically sharp and effective. Darryl's tearful eyes at the end always get me - poor guy, man.
43. Posing for the group picture (Classy Christmas, Season 7 Episode 11)
For anyone who has ever been in the situation where you're supposed to take a quick, nice group photo and more than one person has an opinion on the best way to take it - first of all, I feel you. It can make five minutes feel like four agonizing hours. Anyways, this is a pitch-perfect satire of how those situations feel.
42. Closing time (Doomsday, Season 8 Episode 6)
I don't often find myself relating to Andy Bernard, but there's just no way around it - if I was the regional manager of a paper company, I don't see any way around the scenario that I would blast Semisonic's Closing Time at the end of each work day. So, points for relatability, and also for all of the employees' reactions to the new tradition being hilarious in-character.
41. A boss is like a teacher (Business School, Season 3 Episode 16)
It starts out typical (Ryan's "I'd be stupid not to do it...right...?" is pretty dang good), then gets better when Michael gets on one of his wannabe-profound monologues...and becomes a classic with his story's way-out-of-left-field brutally dark ending. Hilarious stuff.
40. One Year Later (Finale, Season 9 Episode 23)
For the most part, the cold open of the series finale is a neat jump into the future, introducing the final episode's 'where are they now' premise with cool tidbits like Stanley's retirement, Oscar's state senate campaign and an inside look into Dwight's accomplishments as regional manager. Honestly, such a plot-rich scene that sets the tone for the finale could be even higher, but I have to give slight minus points for the unnecessary harshness of Kevin's firing. I guess I just have soft spot for him.
39. Where is my desk? (The Fight, Season 2 Episode 6)
This is a historical landmark - the first cold open to feature one of Jim's pranks on Dwight. Of course, Jim had pranked his favorite frenemy before in the series, but from hereon out, the cold opens would be the primary slot for a vast majority of the show's most iconic pranks. While the desk-hiding isn't as inspired as many that came after it, it still earns a high ranking because all of the practical joke cold opens are pretty amazing.
38. "If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby..." (The Chump, Season 6 Episode 25)
"...I would shoot Toby twice". One of the most iconic lines to be uttered in any of the cold opens. The rest of the scene is good fun as well.
37. Kevin speak few word (The Incentive, Season 8 Episode 2)
Kevin such adorable man. Scene memorable. Big laugh.
36. Michael's warehouse bit (Grief Counseling, Season 3 Episode 4)
It is equal part hilarious and endearing how committed Michael is to keeping his employees entertained in this one. And Pam taking full advantage of this for her own amusement is brilliant.
35. Michael prepares for the birth of a watermelon (Baby Shower, Season 5 Episode 4)
A memorable moment of ridiculous mayhem. Jim's chart explanation is funny as hell, and has made for a great meme template over the years.
34. Gift-wrapped work station (Moroccan Christmas, Season 5 Episode 11)
Again, even the lesser instances of Jim's pranks on Dwight are far ahead a vast majority of any other subgenres of The Office cold opens. This practical joke isn't in the highest tier of its kind, but it's still inescapably amusing especially with its ending twist.
33. Jim&Dwight unveil the Christmas tree (Secret Santa, Season 6 Episode 13)
I mean, who thought it would be a good idea to have Jim and Dwight be the new party planning committee? I'm chuckling just thinking about the idea's absurdity and how it reflects onto this scene. Their tree reveal goes wrong in so many ways, making the scene uncomfortable in just the right way. It takes actors with serious chemistry to act out such a perfect lack of chemistry.
32. Big news (The List, Season 8 Episode 1)
You know how this post has implied that most of the plot-heavy cold opens aren't among the best ones? Well, a big exception is when the first scene of a new season drops a whole bunch of interesting bits of aftermath to the previous season's events, as well as new plotlines and directions for the new season, to really give you an idea of what the season will be all about, as The Office did with its two final seasons. This scene is filled with fascinating new information: Robert California is the new CEO, Andy is regional manager, both Pam and Angela are pregnant - and we even get the introduction to Stanley's 'shove it up your butt' joke, which would go on to pay off later in the season. Also, bonus points for Pam's "Little Michael Scott" joke.
31. More big news (New Guys, Season 9 Episode 1)
A very similar cold open to the one above, but with an even bigger treasure trove of plot developments to kick off the final season: Kelly and Ryan are written out (in a hilarious manner true to their characters), Jim's Philadelphia storyline is kickstarted, and we even have time for Kevin's hilarious turtle story. The cold open ends with a mind-blowing zoom-out where we see the characters interacting with the camera crew for the first time - something that would go on to play a big part in the final season.
30. Phyllis' rain clichés (Angry Andy, Season 8 Episode 21)
Phyllis is such a sweet woman and she must be protected at all cost. This is one of the cozier and more wholesome cold opens, although the irony of Jim's bet falling through because of something that can be traced back to Jim's bet is certainly a clever bit of comedy.
29. Oscar explains the budget surplus to Michael (The Surplus, Season 5 Episode 10)
Now we're really getting to the classics. Oscar explains, Michael asks to explain it to him like he's an eight-year-old, Oscar does so and Michael still doesn't get it, he asks Oscar to explain it to him like he's five, et cetera. The best part is that for a viewer like me who doesn't have the best grasp on the business world, the dumbed-down explanations are actually quite educational!
28. Jim keeps hijacking Dwight's calls (Goodbye Toby, Season 4 Episode 14)
From Jim's clever concept, through Pam's role as accomplice all the way to Dwight's hilarious reaction, this is a quality prank scene.
27. Dwight follows the red wire (Prince Family Paper, Season 5 Episode 13)
Another classic prank, with my favorite detail being how we can see Dwight climbing the telephone pole in the background through the window while Jim talks about the prank to the cameras.
26. Dwight wakes everyone up (Tallahassee, Season 8 Episode 15)
The interactions here get progressively funnier - Erin's adorable "I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep", Dwight's completely over-the-line intensity with Stanley, and as the cherry on top, a Jim prank when we weren't expecting one!
25. Michael makes amends with Dwight (Goodbye Michael, Season 7 Episode 22)
From the majestic opening shot, it is clear that Michael Scott's final episode has a cold open worthy of the occasion. As of the episode's beginning, he was still on bad terms with Dwight (which gives us Rainn Wilson's unforgettable delivery of "That's because they're not oysters, they're BULL TESTICLES!" at the start of the scene), but of course they couldn't part on bad terms. Michael's way of tricking Dwight into a more normal interaction, as the first step of getting along again, is heartwarming.
24. Early morning paper route (Broke, Season 5 Episode 25)
This semi-lengthy cold open from the heart of the Michael Scott Paper Company storyline may not be as flashy and meme-worthy as many others, but in its own subtle and atmospheric way, it has to be one of my favorites. The vibes are immaculate, and the "milk and sugar" gag is top notch comedy.
23. The DVD square (Launch Party, Season 4 Episode 3)
As true fans will know, this cold open is amusing in its own right - but downright genius upon an attentive re-watch. When watching the scene (especially as a first-time viewer), one doesn't focus at all on what Michael is talking about, because the narrative tricks you into following what's going on with the DVD square because that's what the employees are doing. Therefore, you might totally miss that Michael's speech sets up the plot of the Golden Ticket episode seen later in the season! Well played, writers.
22. Throwing the football around (Dwight's Speech, Season 2 Episode 17)
Dwight taking things too far is the comedic payoff of many cold opens, and this one of the most hysterically, extremely over-the-top examples. Violently tackling Ryan is bad enough, but then he goes on to knock down both Creed and Stanley who weren't even participating? Over the line, unhinged, and absolutely spectacular comedy.
21. The pyramid scheme (Michael's Birthday, Season 2 Episode 19)
Not as flashy and spectacular as most in the top thirty, this cold open is just top tier comedy dialogue, with the added visual bonus of the moment where Jim draws the pyramid around Michael's 'chart' to make his point. Not many sitcoms have the writing chops to come up with dialogue like "This sounds like a get rich quick -scheme" / "Yes, thank you, you will get rich quick!".
20. Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd (Andy's Play, Season 7 Episode 3)
Many might not rank this one super-high, but it's a big subjective favorite for me - as a fan of the musical genre, the vibes here are unironically good fun. Of course, it's The Office, so you also get comedic elements like Dwight thinking they're under attack and Michael failing to realize he didn't get a part in the play.
19. Jim's telekinetic powers (Casino Night, Season 2 Episode 22)
There's so much to enjoy in the cold open to the legendary season 2 finale! The Casino Night premise is set, Michael confuses the words "philantropist" and "philanderer", the utter lack of explanation for Dwight's baffling claim that his grandfather was buried in the tux he's now wearing, the heart-melting chemistry of Jim and Pam before they got together - and somehow there's still time for a Jim-Dwight prank! All of this in just two and a half minutes!
18. Parkour! (Gossip, Season 6 Episode 1)
An absolute classic. As the first scene of the entire season, this hits extra hard - original viewers hadn't seen the characters they love for quite a while when this aired, and then we're treated to the comedic adrenaline rush of Michael, Dwight and Andy being just the most delightfully obnoxious jackasses you can imagine, which can't help but give a huge 'we are so back' sensation. The final utterance of "Parkour!" after Andy has fallen into the box? Chef's kiss.
17. The Dunder Code (Customer Loyalty, Season 9 Episode 12)
One of my favorite Jim pranks - and definitely the most underrated one, as you never really hear people hyping this one up or listing it among their favorites. I absolutely love the idea that Jim left this scheme to simmer years ago, only for Dwight to stumble upon the first clue in the present, with Jim not even working at Dunder Mifflin anymore at the time. It's sweet how Jim's eyes light up when remembering the prank's existence, not to mention the enthusiasm that the fellow employees show in helping Dwight with his 'quest'. I love how the camera crew subtly figures out the end twist, even though poor Mr. Schrute does not.
16. It's Britney, bitch (Michael Scott Paper Company, Season 5 Episode 23)
Nothing quite like Michael pulling up, sunglasses and all, confidently exclaiming "It's Britney, bitch" while blasting Lady Gaga, and proceeding to screw up parking. There's no other character in TV history quite like this one.
15 Jim goes full Pavlov (Phyllis' Wedding, Season 3 Episode 15)
Here, as opposed to the Dunder Code, we have a prank we can all agree to be one of the best. There's something inherently funny about Jim being inspired by the story of Pavlov's dogs to condition Dwight into wanting a mint every time his computer makes the rebooting sound. It's one of his more innocent pranks, but it's great fun, and Dwight's look of confused disbelief (contrasted with Jim's proud smile) is perfection.
14. Dwight's stuff is in the vending machine (Booze Cruise, Season 2 Episode 11)
In under a minute, we get one of the more creative and unforgettable pranks in Jim Halpert's vast catalogue. What really gets me with this one is Jim and Pam's deadpan and mundane vibe throughout the scene, acting as if what's happening is completely normal while Dwight proceeds to freak out. There's something indescribably funny about Pam thinking about what to buy and casually commenting on the good prices.
13. Michael Scott, meet David Brent (The Seminar, Season 7 Episode 14)
I am so happy that the writers had the idea for David Brent (Michael Scott's equivalent from the original British The Office) to make a cameo, and that Ricky Gervais agreed to it! It's a delightful piece of fan service, confirming that the two shows take place in the same universe, and just seeing the two jackasses interacting with each other - such a treat.
12. Jim impersonates Dwight (Product Recall, Season 3 Episode 20)
Sometimes, simplicity works. This practical joke isn't as creative or genius as many others seen in the show, but it's insanely well-executed and unforgettable. The scene gives us immortal lines like "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica" and "Identity theft is not a joke Jim, millions of families suffer every year!", both of which I recall myself quoting when I dressed up as Dwight Schrute for a Halloween party a few years back, largely inspired by this scene.
11. Michael doesn't know Toby is back (Frame Toby, Season 5 Episode 9)
It's hard to rank this one merely as a scene in the series, as the "Michael screaming 'NO' repeatedly" clip has been a meme for as long as I can remember. But honestly, the moment becomes ten times funnier when put into the context of the full scene - it's not anything that Toby says or does, but his mere existence and presence that causes the infamous outburst.
10. Dwight gets a fax from Future Dwight (Branch Closing, Season 3 Episode 7)
One of the two Jim-Dwight pranks to make it all the way to the top ten, this is among my big subjective favorites, partially because the concept is so outlandish and partially because Dwight takes it so seriously. Also, the ending with Stanley's coffee mug is a great bit of physical comedy. Masterfully done.
9. The injury (The Injury, Season 2 Episode 12)
Speaking of physical comedy, this one was hard to rank because you could almost see it working as a critically acclaimed short film in the genre of chaotic comedy, instead of a mere cold open in a regular sitcom episode. A lot happens in this brilliantly executed and utterly shocking chain of events, and especially as a first-time viewer, every twist and turn was wonderfully unexpected. I don't know which of the show's writers came up with "what if Michael burns his foot on his George Foreman grill", but whoever it was deserves a star on the Hollywood walk of fame.
8. Michael hits Meredith with his car (Fun Run, Season 4 Episode 1)
Now THIS is how you begin a season in a cringe comedy series. We open all normal, with Michael telling us about the latest developments in his life and how happy he is, and right when you least expect it, he hits Meredith with his car and we cut to the opening credits. I reckon any fan will remember how it felt to see this iconic out-of-the-blue moment for the first time.
7. Asian Jim (Andy's Ancestry, Season 9 Episode 3)
Yeah, it's a basic one to choose as my all-time favorite Jim prank (at least from the cold opens), but it's beloved for a reason. Everything about Asian Jim is perfect - the absurd idea, the amount of effort put into it, Randall Park's guest performance, Dwight initially not being fooled but starting to become paranoid when the situation becomes more surreal, and as the ultimate cherry on top, the fake Jim doing a Jim-like look at the camera. I love how this scene is so etched in pop culture that whenever Randall Park does an interview for an upcoming movie or anything of the sort, half of the comments are something like "Good to see John Krasinski broadening his horizons after The Office!" et cetera.
6. Smells like updog in here (The Secret, Season 2 Episode 13)
Premise-wise, this scene should have no business anywhere near the top ten - however, Steve Carrell's comedy acting chops are at their absolute best here, and the line delivery and comedic timing make the scene much better than it has any right to be. Basically, Jim tells a joke that amuses Michael, and Michael tries to tell it to the other employees, but he keeps screwing up the punchline each time. A funny but basic idea from the writers, turned into a masterpice by Carrell's unique gift for comedy.
5. The lip dub (Nepotism, Season 7 Episode 1)
First of all, I want to give the disclaimer that anything from the top five could easily be at #1. These are easily the five best ones in my opinion, and deciding their order was the hardest part of this whole project. As is the case with each of the four scenes ahead of this one, a big part of me really wanted to put the lip dub at #1, but it got very barely beat by its competitors.
But, yeah, this one is the stuff of legends. Every cast member gets a turn in the spotlight, parts of the video are legitimately impressive while parts are hilariously bad, and my favorite part is Michael's entrance - season 7 was going to be Michael's final season, as the cast and writers already knew when making this, so when he makes his grand entrance towards the end, it hits hard and feels like Steve Carrell is getting ready to say goodbye while making it clear that his last dance will be a spectacle to remember.
4. Dwight protects Jim (The Negotiation, Season 3 Episode 18)
HELL YES! I don't care what you say, this one belongs in the highest tier even if it's not one of the purely funniest cold opens - the series has a lot of heart despite its cringe comedy / satire core, and this is a moment that absolutely gets to me every time in terms of plot and character development. Dwight may be an asshole to Jim for a lot of the time, and he has grounds for legitimate grievances against the man due to the constant pranks - but when Roy enters the office and is about to attack Jim, it is Dwight who (I'm holding back tears when writing this) immediately leaps to his protection, pepper spray in hand.
Mind you, the scene is also quite funny in its chaotic nature, but the biggest reason for its high placement is how it makes one's heart jump and makes you appreciate Dwight on a whole other level - he may be a mean, over-serious ass for a lot of the time, but in the moment when he emerges and delivers the majestic line "Pam, please call security", he is a hero and a badass and all is forgiven.
3. Kevin's famous chili (Casual Friday, Season 5 Episode 26)
When I saw this for the first time, it was in the company of my friend Olli, who had seen it several times - but still couldn't help but burst into actual tears of laughter. And I can't blame him - this scene is a comedy masterpiece. What really makes this work (in addition to the obvious physical comedy) is how the pre-disaster narration by an excited Kevin plays as the audio to the footage of the disaster happening, as the contrast between the desparate and panicing Kevin we see and the proud, blissfully unaware Kevin we hear is just peak humor.
2. The fire drill (Stress Relief, Season 5 Episode 14)
Here's how I imagine that it happened: after season 2's The Injury became one of the most acclaimed and beloved episodes in the early seasons, one of the writers made a suggestion: What if we take the idea of a cold open that is an actually quite well-directed sequence of chaotic events that escalate to a brutally hilarious degree, but we multiply it tenfold?
Because that's what they did.
Dwight's fire drill is a gift that keeps on giving: running at almost five minutes long, this sequence of utter chaos just becomes more and more insane, to the point that it could be argued to be the best example of shock comedy out there. While the rest of the episode is pretty great as well, I'm convinced that the biggest reason for Stress Relief's whopping 9.7 IMDB rating is its legendary opening sequence.
1. Creed Bratton's unforgettable stint as regional manager (Search Committee, Season 7 Episode 25)
Yep, after a lot of deliberation, I've come to the realization that nothing can quite beat this. For full context, one should remember that the previous episode ended with the position of regional manager being open, corporate asking who has worked at Dunder Mifflin Scranton the longest, Toby realizing something and asking if they really should go only based on seniority - after which we cut to Creed f**king Bratton unpacking his stuff in the manager's office. This leaves the viewer with high anticipation for the season finale, and the first scene of the seventh season's finale does not disappoint - as funny as one might expect the concept of Creed as temporary regional manager to be, I can assure that this scene skyrocketed past any expectations, providing arguably the best minute of pure comedy in the entire series.
Down to every miniscule detail, everything here is perfection. While any of the mini-scenes in the montage-like cold open are enough to make Creed fans such as myself laugh out loud, I would like to give a special shout-out to the 'team-building exercise' moment, because I'm not sure if I've ever seen such a short cutaway joke be funny in so many different ways. Every piece of information is more hilarious than the previous - Creed points to the same side of the room both times, his list of names includes Ted and Elroy (no one with those names works there), Phyllis twice and Creed himself in third person, and best of all, we zoom out to see that there's just a few people sitting there, after which we cut to a deeply amused Jim explaining that the guy never called a meeting. After seven seasons of Creed being a funny but under-utilized weirdo, we finally got to see what it looks like when he goes full Creed, and oh man, it's magnificent.
Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for my ranking of all 6 James Bond actors, in honor of the approaching 60th anniversary of the legendary film Goldfinger.
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