Ranking Every James Bond

Greetings, reader!

Goldfinger, the classic third instalment that many have called the greatest film of the James Bond franchise, turns 60 years old this month. In honor of that, September will be filled with various 007-related rankings, beginning with my ranking of the six actors who have graced the title role with their presence. This is my answer to the ever-debated question - who is the best James Bond?

6. George Lazenby (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

Yeah, I'd love to come in with a refreshing hot take on how actually we've all been wrong for decades and Lazenby isn't the worst out of the bunch after all - but there's just no way around it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's a fine actor and probably a nice guy, but as Bond, the one-flop-wonder just didn't have what it takes.

His awkwardness in the role might be less prominent if the movie in itself was bad on other regards - then you could say that it's actually the fault of the script et cetera. But On Her Majesty's Secret Service has the makings of a top-tier Bond film, which unfortunately underlines what it is that stands in the way of the film's greatness. With a classic Blofeld plot, Diana Rigg as one of the all-time greatest 'Bond girls' and the abrupt and emotional ending, the film could be one of the franchise's best - if it wasn't for the fact that the guy playing the role feels wooden and just a bit off.

5. Timothy Dalton (The Living Daylights, Licence to Kill)

Once you get past Lazenby, all five James Bonds have multiple commendable qualities to them and could be ranked in any number of ways. I do consider the oft-forgotten Timothy Dalton to be a bit underrated as Bond - but he's still barely below the rest, if we're being honest. His two 007 flicks (also quite underrated) have a tone of their own, apparently being more loyal to the style of Ian Fleming's novels than any of the other films. This makes the films (and thus the leading man) quite good, but also a big forgettable, as they're more about the actual espionage and less about flashy action.

Dalton is believable and down-to-earth as the Mi6 secret agent, which was a nice change of pace after the rear end of the Moore era had drifted to increasingly outlandish antics. While he has everything it takes to be worthy of the role, he never sets himself apart enough to be in the GOAT conversations - his 007 is fine, but pretty much everything he does well, one of the other Bond actors did even better.

It also hurts his placement that he never really got an 'era' - two films aren't enough for that, so he doesn't have the advantage of the more seasoned Bond actors where fans look upon their reign fondly while remembering the common themes and tropes of that particular chapter in the franchise. Dalton is a bit of an odd one out, but still very worthwhile.

4. Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre, No Time to Die)

I really had to go back and forth with this one - part of me wanted to put him higher, and part of me lower. Daniel Craig is different from his predecessors in a way similar to how his movies are different from what came before, truly being the right man for the era. More serious and brooding than previous editions, Craig walks a fine line of not going too far into that end, because nobody would want to watch a James Bond so sulky that he forgets to quip one-liners and spread STDs for the glory of England. All of the trademark characteristics of the character, from the charm to the dry humor, are still there, but significantly more nuanced and held back.

I love the campiness of the old Bond films (minus the loads and loads of poorly aged and offensive material) so much that Craig can't possibly be my #1 favorite - I like that they did a more serious version of the character and he does a good job with it, but let's be serious: the James Bond we know and love isn't too serious. The main reason that the dark and brooding version works is because it's a fresh take on an already beloved and iconic character, so I see Craig's take on the role like Disturbed's cover of The Sound of Silence - makes cool and interesting choices, but doesn't hold a candle to the original.

In addition, a big factor in Craig being ahead of Dalton is that in many regards, his acting performance is the best out of all six. Being a good James Bond is about much more than conventional acting skill, and I'm guessing quite a few of the others could've pulled off a more layered performance if the script called for it, but Craig is the only one with the proof.

3. Roger Moore (Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy, A View to a Kill)

"Nobody does it better", sings Carly Simon in the The Spy Who Loved Me theme, and indeed, nobody did it better. Well, in my subjective view, the two guys ahead of him did even slightly better. But still, nobody did it quite like the late great Sir Roger Moore.

I love his baffling, unique take on James Bond so much. You'd think that for the franchise's arguably most fast-paced, action-packed and completely bonkers era, they would have gone with a real cowboy type, a conventional man of action, fast in his movements and sly in his smiles. But remember, this is the UK's project, not the U.S. - and so they chose a man with such dry and well-timed wit, so unassuming and so unintentionally funny in the manner of everything just sort of happening around him and through him, that the Moore era got its signature feel of "the craziest shit you've ever seen happening to a normal-looking guy whose facial expressions don't change much".

Moore's Bond is in many ways the opposite to Craig's, but just like with Craig, it was exactly what the era called for. Even though he played 007 for a record-breaking span of seven movies, I'd argue that he shows less range in his acting than any of his counterparts, but that's completely fine - the scripts of the Moore era do not call for breaking down in tears and giving monologues. They call for the world's most nonchalant motherf**ker slightly shrugging after a laser bursts from his watch to save him from a bridge collapsing on top of him. And that's exactly what they got.

2. Sean Connery (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever)

I know - a vast majority would call Connery the GOAT, and with good reason. I am only inches away from putting him at #1 as well, and will never have a quarrel with anyone of the opinion that he was the best. The absolute legend had so much going on for him - in addition to being suave and badass in his own right, he earns a lot of points for being the first, and shaping the very foundation of the character. Every Bond since him would be compared to him, and for good reason.

It's not just that he happened to be the first, but that his role made the character and franchise so popular that it kept going long enough to call for a re-casting, so he is very much to thank for all the others. While my own subjective #1 favorite is barely someone else, I do see Connery as one you absolutely have to respect, one that rightfully tops many rankings, and one that has to be in everyone's top three. For classical composers it's Bach, for American authors it's Hemingway, and for James Bond actors it's Sean f**king Connery.

1. Pierce Brosnan (GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day)

It took me years to realize that as much as I love Connery's Bond, the only thing keeping him at my #1 spot was a sense of 'you have to have him at #1', in a type of elitist thinking that us film enthusiasts learn at a young age and have to learn our way out of. When asked honestly who my favorite James Bond is, with no disrespect to my #2-#5 picks (and only some disrespect to poor George Lazenby), I can't help it - it's Pierce Brosnan.

He burst onto the scene with GoldenEye, my all-time favorite Bond film, where the combination of hero, villain, plot and theme song fit together with unforeseen beauty. And before you get all "okay so you just like him because his movies are good, but that's not fair, that alone doesn't mean that he's the best Bond", I can assure that that is not the case - Die Another Day is a piece of cinematic trash, with the most stupid-ass plot I've ever encountered in a Bond film...but Brosnan kicks so much ass in it that he alone prevents it from being quite in the last place in my ranking of the franchise's films.

When he's in a good Bond film, like GoldenEye or Tomorrow Never Dies, he helps make them surpass their potential and become even better, and when he's in a stinker like Die Another Day or The World Is Not Enough, he carries the end product with his lovable charisma. While all Bonds have their own charm, his is the one that hits me the most (this may be slightly biased - although a pre-bi-awakening Veikko didn't realize it when watching the films for the first time, I can now confidently say that Pierce Brosnan has always been the hottest James Bond, even before I realized that that played into my enjoyment of his films).

Thank you for reading! The 007 theme month continues next week with a ranking of the franchise's top 10 greatest villains.