Top 20 TV Series Intro Sequences

Greetings, reader!

My dad suggested this blog topic a while back, and I found it very much worth doing - the opening credits sequence of a television series has become a staple of the format, and at its best, an art form of its own.

As people who know me might imagine, I'm one of those annoying people who are downright religiously opposed to the 'Skip intro' feature found on streaming services - mainly because the intro sequence is a solid part of the viewing experience, the names of the people who worked on the show deserve to be seen, and the work of the composers and graphic artists who created the music and visuals for the opening sequence especially deserves to be heard and seen as they worked hard to create a sequence that helps set the specific tone for the series in question. And also because the idea of needing/wanting to skip the intro feeds into the over-stressful climate of today, with people thinking of watching an episode of TV as one more thing they have to hurry through and get out of the way before getting to the next thing, and I find this appalling - an episode of TV is something you should sit down to enjoy, with nothing else on your mind, and it is a treat.

Anyways, I had trouble limiting my favorite intro sequences to just the 10 best ones as so many are worth mentioning, so here's my top twenty!

Here are my honorable mentions: Arrow, Dexter, Gilmore Girls, How I Met Your Mother, The Newsroom.

20. Succession

The theme song of HBO's Succession isn't just one of the catchiest ear-worms in recent memory. It's also a clever metaphor for the show's themes, as the juxtaposition of old-timey piano sounds and a modern electric drum beat feels perfect for a series all about the battle between old and new, with Logan Roy's old-money views of running a media business clashing with his son Kendall wanting to take everything to the modern age.

The images we see in the intro sequence are also a part of this, feeling ancient yet modern, while giving us glimpses of the Roy siblings in their childhood, with the most present force ironically being the loud absence of their father. It's a well-thought-out intro sequence, containing layers of commentary on the show's story and its central characters.

19. Atlanta

Okay, Atlanta doesn't even have an intro sequence, but rather a title card that appears in a unique manner after the first act of each episode. But it's such a cool feature that these well-placed title cards deserve a spot on this list, when you view them as a mini-version of what an intro sequence typically is. It's always fun and cool to spot the show's title, written on a park bench or the side of a building in a transition between the first scenes, usually with an atmospheric hip-hop beat playing in the background.

18. The Walking Dead

There are many little things to love in the Walking Dead intro sequence, chief among the way in which the main string melody often starts to play at the end of an episode's first scene in a teasing manner, before morphing into the actual sequence. My favorite detail has to be the way in which the background looks more and more decomposed each season, symbolizing how the post-apocalypse has gotten further - until we get to season 9, and the themes of slowly rebuilding society are seen as the intro sequence features fresh and bright colors of nature again.

17. Community

The intro sequence to my all-time favorite sitcom is quite simple, with a paper fortune teller showing the names of the main cast and nice little drawings while the song At Least It Was Here by The 88 plays in the background. The main reason for this sequence making it into my top 20 is the ways in which it often varies: I love the trope of changing the opening sequence up for a special episode, and very few do that as well as Community.

For the Halloween episodes in various seasons, the song ends on a ghastly note while the drawings are horror versions of the usual ones. For fantasy episode Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and Law&Order parodying episode Basic Lupine Urology, the entire music is re-arranged to the fitting style while the imagery is also a well-thought-out change to fit the themes. We've also had a video game opening, a western opening, a stop-motion animated Christmas version with new lyrics - and, of course, season 4's "This is my show, it's about me, and all my friends, I'm Abed TV".

16. Rick and Morty

This zany opening is cool, as they change it up a bit for each season while keeping some core tenants in the mix. The opening, where Rick abandons Morty while escaping green monsters in the desert, and the ending, where Rick and Morty are being chased by some sort of Lovecraftian creature, are always there - and while these pieces of imagery haven't yet tied into the show's plot, fans have speculated that we'll get to those events eventually, possibly in the show's final episode.

For the other clips in between, each season features a fresh batch, and it always makes for a fun guessing game: there are always a few clips that end up being featured in the episodes, and some that are made just for the opening sequence. My all-time favorite has to be the clip of Morty playing golf and waving in the season 5 opening sequence - it's so low-stakes and odd compared to the other, more action-packed clips, that it's a hilarious addition.

15. Homeland

The chaotic jazz music heard in the Homeland opening sequence is quite the perfect metaphor for what is going on in the head of bipolar protagonist Carrie Matheson (Claire Danes), and it creates quite the mood for the psychologically heavy detective -style approach that the series has to dealing with its story. I also appreciate the audio inserts from relevant, real-life news stories, mixed in with carefully selected and poignant quotes from the show's dialogue.

14. Band of Brothers

This one is just so damn moving. In the opening sequence to HBO's WWII miniseries Band of Brothers, we see imagery of the war and the faces of our main characters, to the backdrop of a deeply sentimental composition by Michael Kamen. Even for a pacifist like me, these images create a deep sense of caring, serving as a reminder of just how humane the young men thrust into the horrors of war always were (and are).

13. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

It's just a feel-good montage to the backdrop of an awesome song, albeit a young Veikko was utterly devastated to find out that there is no "The One Where They Dance In A Fountain" episode. Also, could the urge to clap four times after "Gonna be this wayyy" BE any stronger?

12. Star Trek: Enterprise

While Enterprise may be one of the overall weaker shows in the Star Trek franchise, the intro goes hard. Faith of the Heart by Rod Stewart may be a cheesy song, but it works here; yet it's the visual imagery that plays the biggest part in the openin sequence's high ranking. We see a montage of the history of humankind's modes of transportation and exploration, from early Polynesian ships and hot air balloons to early airplanes and space shuttles, until it smoothly transitions past our present day into the Star Trek universe's fictional future, with the increasingly sci-fi imagery leading up to the majestic visual of the Starship Enterprise.

I also love the variation for the season 4 episode In a Mirror, Darkly; for the two-parter taking place in the iconic Mirror Universe, we see a switched-up view of history, highlighting just what went wrong and why things for humanity are so different in the Mirror Universe.

11. The Sopranos

This one is just damn cool. The song Woke Up This Morning by Alabama 3, the footage of Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) driving around New Jersey, it just oozes a peculiar sort of badassery and class. The vibes are immaculate.

10. The Simpsons

If you watch the Simpsons intro sequence once, it's alright. Once you watch it multiple times, you start to appreciate the ways in which Matt Groening and company keep things fresh with clever switch-ups. The text that Bart is writing on the chalkboard is different every time, with some personal favorites being the ironic "I will not waste chalk", the meta "I will not mess with the opening credits", the objectively hilarious "I will not use guinea pigs as 'guinea pigs' ", and of course, "I won't not use no double negatives".

Similarly, the way the Simpson family finally enters the couch at the end of the sequence is often varied. Most versions are fun and simple, but every now and then, they'll get all ambitious with long-winded concept couch gags (the history-of-the-world one and the out-zooming camera are evergreen favorites).

9. The West Wing

Conceptually, the intro sequence to The West Wing is a typical one that shouldn't really stick out - inspiring music, to the visual of short clips of each main cast member as the names of the corresponding actors are shown and the background aesthetic features American flags, White House locations and other theme-appropriate symbols.

But somehow, The West Wing's intro sequence beats many similar ones in my book. I know that it's likely due to the series being one of my all-time favorites - while this list should be about the best intro sequences specifically, it's impossible to completely separate one's attachment to the whole series from the intro. Naturally, with a series you absolutely love, the opening sequence will cause feelings of nostalgia and warmth, and that is very much what the West Wing intro does with me. Also, the short clips are well-selected and say a lot about the essence of the characters.

8. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

It's not the opening sequence per se, but the absolutely genius way in which the cold opens tie into the intro sequence.

You see, the opening sequence always begins with a title card showing the episode's name as the lovely theme music starts to play. And in most episodes, especially in the earlier seasons, the series repeats the clever and imaginative gag where the opening scene ends in a line of dialogue that ties into the episode's title in a humorous way. These are always a blast, and it makes the opening sequence's beginning into a delightful experience every time.

7. Lost

Sometimes, simplicity works. The intro sequence to TV's finest adventure-mystery-thriller-fantasy-science-fiction-romance-action-drama is dead-simple, yet it says it all - nothing would feel as much like Lost as the word Lost written in white, floating in a black background, to the audio of a creepy but intriguing soundscape as short as it is sweet. This one did a kick-ass job of setting the mood every time.

6. Doctor Who

This one in itself might not quite be all-time top 10 material, but when you add the delightful evolution of the sequence over the years to the admittedly neat music and visual premise, it becomes quite legendary. Across the show's 60-year life span, the intro sequence has been updated countless times to fit each era of the series, with both the music having many iconic versions of the arrangement while the visual landscape has seen multiple cool aesthetic directions.

My favorite one has to be the one belonging to the Matt Smith era - the dramatic Murray Gold arrangement, the stormy visuals, that's peak Doctor Who right there. And who among us didn't shed a tear when the 50th anniversary episode The Day of the Doctor opened with the original 1963 version of the sequence?

5. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

I don't care how many Oscars he wins, this rap will always be Will Smith's career highlight for me. It's just so damn catchy and fun. The lyrics are memorable, and the beat slaps harder than - well - damn, the metaphor escapes me...

4. Futurama

This might not be the most critically acclaimed opening sequence, but dammit, it's just so funky and fun! The massively nostalgic soundtrack gives off the vibe of "What if Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit was upbeat and sci-fi?", and the zany visuals introduce the show's futuristic setting in a colorful fashion. Also, Matt Groening's "let's do something different each time" humor is even better here than it is in The Simpsons, as the text below the "FUTURAMA" title is different every time - here are just a few of my favorites:

"In color"

"Put on 2-D glasses now"

"Loading..."

"Filmed on location"

"Based on a true story"

"As foretold by Nostradamus"

"Painstakingly drawn before a live audience"

"Last known transmission of the Hubble telescope"

"Featuring a new invisible character who doesn't speak"

"Not sure if new episode or just rerun of episode I watched drunk"

3. Game of Thrones

Ramin Djawadi's score is one for the ages, and the visuals are so incredibly cool - the intricate map of Westeros comes to life through some expert animation work, and I love the attention to detail. The locations showed on the map vary from episode to episode based on where the main characters are at the moment, and I remember how neat it felt when watching the series whenever a new location was seen in the opening credits for the first time. An appropriately epic intro sequence for an epic series.

2. Twin Peaks

This one just soothes me. The vibes are unparalleled - Angelo Badalamenti's sense-melting score, the beautiful shots of the fictional Washington town, even details like credit font, it all comes together to form a truly artistic tapestry that sets the mood with perfection and makes the heart of this fan swell every time. *chef's kiss*

1. Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation

Mark my words, no television opening sequence will ever come close to this one. As the timeless outer space visuals and the magnificent and otherworldly sountrack draw you in, the words "Space - the final frontier" hit indescribably hard, with the rest of the opening monologue filling you with a sense of curiosity, idealism, exploration and adventure.

As great as the original series' version is, with William Shatner delivering the monologue and Alexander Courage's original version of the main theme creating a sense of wonder, I must say that the Next Generation version is the definitive one for me. Jerry Goldsmith's take on the theme is even more grandiose, Sir Patrick Stewart is the only human alive who could outdo the epicness of Shatner's narration, and the change from "Where no man has gone before" to the gender-neutral "Where no one has gone before" way back in 1987 proves how much ahead of its time this franchise has always been.

I've watched a ton of Star Trek, and this opening sequence gives me the chills every time. Perfection.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for my 2024 Oscar predictions!

2/22: Ranking the 2 movies of the Jump Street franchise.

Greetings, reader!

Two years ago, I celebrated 'Twosday' (Tuesday February 22nd, 2022) by sharing a double list where I ranked the top 2 best movie franchises consisting of only 2 movies, and the top 2 TV shows that lasted exactly 2 seasons. This year, since February 22nd happens to be a Thursday, I'm returning to the number 2 thematics with today's Top 2 list: ranking the movies of the Jump Street franchise, 21 Jump Street (2012) and 22 Jump Street (2014). Here's my ranking!

2. 22 Jump Street (2014)

As it often happens, the sequel is a tad lesser than the original. In the tradition of Rocky II (1979), Halloween II (1981) and Back to the Future Part II (1989), it's the archetypical sequel that is exactly one notch down from the original in pretty much every aspect, but still very decent. The film is largely what you'd expect, with much of the same humor and same tropes as the first film, but it's a tad less fresh and memorable than its predecessor.

1. 21 Jump Street (2012)

A reboot/pseudo-sequel to the TV series 21 Jump Street (1987-1991), this underrated gem is honestly one of my favorite modern comedy films. The plot is much more exciting and well-thought-out than your typical high school party comedy, and the chemistry between Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill is sublime. The film also contains a car chase which, in my hot-take opinion, ousts The Blues Brothers (1980) as the downright funniest chase sequence in Hollywood. All in all, this is the comedy diamond that set the standard for the mainstream comedy cinema of the 2010's.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for a post requested by my dad, as I rank the top 20 best opening credit sequences from TV shows.

Ranking the 10 latest Super Bowl halftime shows

Greetings, reader!

Last Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday, and the traditional halftime show was performed by Usher. As a fan of the halftime show format, I decided to rank the 10 latest instances, from the 2015 one to the latest one just a few nights ago.

10. Maroon 5 (2019)

Oh jeez. I was bored out of my skull when re-watching this show for the purposes of this list to prove my hypothesis that it would be ranked last based on my recollection of it - yet somehow, frontman Adam Levine looked even more bored while performing. Maroon 5's music isn't all that great to begin with, and this low-energy performance is more or less a disgrace to the Super Bowl halftime show format. I mean, out of all the possible guest performers in a world full of great musicians, they got Travis Scott??

9. Justin Timberlake (2018)

There was a lot of controversy in the decision to bring Timberlake back at all - while what exactly happened with the ridiculously infamous incident of 2004 is complicated and much-speculated, the fact remains that Timberlake's career and reputation remained intact while Janet Jackson's career was more or less ruined, and Timberlake did very little to publicly stand by Jackson as the American media dragged her through the mud. So, Timberlake's very presence at another halftime show was less than inspiring.

Also, it's not a particularly great show. There are some cool light effects in the beginning, and the tribute to Prince is touching, but other than that, it's bang-average. The show elements are certainly more lively than in the complete joke that is the Maroon 5 halftime show, but compared to the level of spectacle seen most years, this one doesn't quite have what it takes.

8. The Weeknd (2021)

Out of all the halftime shows in recent years (or ever), this one would nab the Oscar for best set design with ease. The production values of The Weeknd's shows are insane, albeit the musical hype isn't as high as in many other shows. Of course, this was the only halftime show heavily impacted by Covid, and when you take that into account, the end result is very respectable - it certainly stands out of the crowd with its makeshift stage up in the stands.

I'd imagine it was a bit weird for the live audience, but the TV version works wonders - and of course, the Weeknd eventually makes his way to the field for the impressive Blinding Lights finale. All in all, this delightful oddball show ranks higher than the bad/subpar ones, but not as highly as the more awe-inspiring ones by slightly better artists.

7. Usher (2024)

Last week's R&B nostalgia blast ranks at a solid #7, being a thoroughly entertaining show but not as spectacular as some big favorites. Usher himself is fine, but he gets delightfully out-shined by most of his guest performers: Alicia Keys is a class act with If I Ain't Got You, H.E.R. dazzles with one firecracker of a guitar solo, and Lil Jon turns the stadium into a full-on rave for Turn Down for What.

While the show wasn't as epic as a certain hip-hop-nostalgia blast from a few years ago (more on that later), it succeeded well enough as a similar sort of throwback to the mutual ground between R&B and rap music from the 2000's. All in all, Usher's show isn't magnificent, but not a dud either, and pretty much on par for what you'd expect from a Super Bowl halftime show.

6. Rihanna (2023)

Rihanna's show wasn't as visually grandiose and explosive as some halftime shows, but it didn't need to be - the amount of radio hits Rihanna has released in the last few decades is pretty much unparalleled, so the true star power comes from the songs.

Bam, it's Bitch Better Have My Money, bam, now it's Only Girl (In the World), bam, now it's We Found Love, and the hit potpur just keeps on giving. The Run This Town / Umbrella / Diamonds climax is insane. Compared to many other halftime shows, this one was more 'music first', and the music is good enough for that to be perfectly okay.

5. Shakira & Jennifer Lopez (2020)

Here, on the other hand, we have two artists whose actual music has never been all that special to me, but whose star power and stage charisma is undeniable. You don't need to be a fan of their songs to appreciate how much fun is being had on stage, with both artists beautifully paying tribute to their cultural roots with various Latin pop elements being seen in the aesthetic in every element of the show. It's a joyful performance, with memorable moments from Bad Bunny's energetic guest performance all the way to the Waka Waka finale.

4. Lady Gaga (2017)

Speaking of energy, this one woman has more of it throughout her performance than the entire bands put together in the shows I ranked at #10 and #9. The God Bless America opening is perhaps a bit over-patriotic for my taste, but if that's what it takes for the more conservative football fans to come around to appreciating Gaga's progressive style and lyrics, it's fair enough.

In the bulk of the show, the artist goes through hits like The Edge of Glory, Poker Face and Born This Way with loads of energy, and there's no time to even think about the lack of guest performers as Lady Gaga's pace and energy fills the show's requirements with ease. Costume changes, cool pyro effects and other delightful tropes ensue until it all culminates in a banger arrangement of Bad Romance. Good stuff.

3. Katy Perry (2015)

If I ranked these performers as overall artists, Katy Perry wouldn't be ahead of the likes of Lady Gaga or Rihanna. But when purely comparing the halftime shows, Perry does a weirdly good job. The show elements are so ridiculously over-the-top that they work - the artist enters the field on a gigantic mechanical lion, and exits by flying around the stadium attached to a firework / shooting star prop.

In between, she has a blast interacting with the guest performers (a rocking Lenny Kravitz balanced out by an badass Missy Elliott). The background props and backup dancer outfits make for a zany and memorable aesthetic, nailing this one down as one of the better modern halftime shows.

2. Coldplay (2016)

Super Bowl 50 called for a true spectacle, and the chosen artists sure delivered. Coldplay is the headlining artist and they do a fine job, but the spotlight is stolen in the best possible fashion by guest performers Bruno Mars and Beyoncé. These two stars bounce off each other with sublime chemistry, with the Uptown Funk / Formation mash-up rising to levels of peak pop music magnificence.

All in all, the 50th Super Bowl's halftime show is properly explosive, highly memorable and filled with great artists performing great arrangements of great songs. One of the best.

1. Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige & Kendrick Lamar (2021)

First of all, this one made me feel old. When I first heard that this would be the lineup, my impulse was to think 'Cool, they're really getting with the times with all these trendy and relevant artists!'. Then, I realized that these rappers were trendy and relevant in my childhood, that this lineup had more of a 'blast from the past' idea to it, and that I must have felt exactly the way my parents' generation would feel if Van Halen or Aerosmith were to headline the halftime show.

When viewing the 2021 halftime show with the right attitude, as a nostalgic blast from the past and a love letter to hip hop, it's perfection.

The collection of iconic tracks is insane, the trailer park -style stage design is dope as hell, and naturally, the performances of a lineup who could make up 50% of a respectable 'Top 10 rappers of all time' list are amazing. Dr. Dre soaks in the atmosphere and energy, Snoop Dogg brings his signature chill vibe, Eminem spits out Lose Yourself while Anderson Paak has the time of his life on the drums, Mary J. Blige raps with rapid-fire intensity, Kendrick astounds with the astute timing of his rhymes, and 50 Cent makes an appearance while being upside down for some reason. This halftime show is hip hop heritage, and the only right choice for my #1.

Thank you for reading! On next week's Thursday, the date is 2/22, so I'll be celebrating the abundance of number 2's by ranking the 2 movies in the Jump Street franchise.

My Stephen King Project Is Finally Done: Here's my ranking of the books I read from him

Greetings, reader!

As anyone who interacted with me in 2023 will undoubtedly know, I took a detour from my typical 'Try to read a bit of everything, balance between genres and diverse authors' shtick and spent the entire year going further and further down the rabbit hole of Stephen King's literary works. No, I didn't read nearly all of his books, but enough to satisfy my heart's curiosity - ever since I read It in 2019, I felt a longing to become better acquainted with his fictional multiverse, especially having heard of the mythical Dark Tower series and how everything ties into it. Now that I'm finished with this project, here's my ranking of every Stephen King book I read!

P.S. Short stories are also included on the list, mainly because some of his short stories are thoroughly worth discussing and the distinction between short story / novella / novel is a bit arbitrary and sometimes hard to make with this particular author.

30. The Little Sisters of Eluria

This one is worth reading if you want the full picture on the Dark Tower mythos, but it's not a particularly great read itself. King's writing is never downright bad, but here he's much more focused on filling in the gaps of a fictional world than on elements such as pacing, dialogue and language, and it shows.

29. Here There Be Tygers

If I were to rank these by pure obscurity, Here There Be Tygers would rank much higher. At the beginning of my dive into King's works, I asked my friend Riku for recommendations as I knew him to be an enjoyer of the author. Instead of saying "Check out Salem's Lot" like a normal human being, the absolute madman steered me to the direction of this short story written by King as a teenager.

In Here There Be Tygers, we follow a kid who gets bored in class and asks to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he encounters a god damn tiger. The tiger just stands there. When someone else comes to the bathroom looking for the kid, the tiger eats them as the kid just stands there and watches. No, I'm not making this up.

28. Guns

Okay, as a nonfiction essay, Guns just barely qualifies for this list, but it's listed as a work by Stephen King on Goodreads and a top 30 looks nicer than a top 29, so let's do Guns. It's an essay where the author, who often uses political issues as themes in his fictional stories yet rarely makes a big deal of his own alignments, takes a stab (heh, purposefully bad word choice intended) at the gun epidemic in the United States.

For a creative artist type who usually writes about killer clowns and turtle gods, he does a surprisingly decent job discussing his well-reasoned views on this hot-button topic. His feelings on the subject are largely the same as mine (maybe the worshipping of firearms in U.S. culture and the amount of guns owned by citizens has something to do with the weekly tradition of mass shootings, and maybe that's bad), and he argues with brilliant rhetoric.

27. Survivor Type

I took the time to read this short story amidst everything else, because King listed it as one of his top five favorites from his own works in an interview with Stephen Colbert. While Surivor Type is an expertly written short story, it feels bonkers that anyone would put it in their top five King works - of course the writer himself is entitled to do so, but still. This dude singling out Survivor Type but not Pet Sematary is an act of horror/fantasy/mystery in itself.

26. The Reaper's Image

Out of the short stories (not counting novellas) that I've read from King, The Reaper's Image is my favorite. It's amazing how much of a horror atmosphere he can create in just 14 pages - there's a milieu that turns from neutral to unsettling to creepy to horrifying in this short time. Not as impressive literature as his full-scale novels, but quite an exceptional short story nonetheless.

25. Doctor Sleep

The legacy sequel to The Shining is by no means bad, but it's also nowhere near The Shining. It's fascinating to follow Dan Torrance at an adult age, with his bond with heroine Abra being a highlight. Doctor Sleep is an emotional story with a neat relationship to the book it follows, but the horror itself is a bit of a letdown, sometimes feeling like an afterthought.

24. The Wind Through the Keyhole

Written after the 7-part Dark Tower series was finished and taking place between books #4 and #5, this companion piece fills in on some of the character lore in a way that wasn't exactly necessary but doesn't feel completely pointless either. The world would largely be the same without The Wind Through the Keyhole, but as I enjoyed the world of The Dark Tower so much, it was nice to flesh out the characters, backstories and worldbuilding even further with this book. Also, the ending is admittedly moving.

23. Insomnia

One of the biggest must-read books for embarking on the story of the Dark Tower, this "stand-alone novel" ties into the events of the final Dark Tower instalment in a fashion most epic. Its groundwork-laying and eventual connection to the Dark Tower mythos may be Insomnia's greatest strength, but it's worthwhile reading as its own story as well.

At times, the 800-page count seems a bit excessive - usually the lenghtier King books are well-reasoned in their grandeur (I would not cut one word from the 1200-page The Stand), but Insomnia sometimes feels like it would've been better if the story was a bit more compact. Still, it's a book with engaging moving parts in its plot, neat supernatural concepts, and a sweet love story at the center!

22. The Long Walk

The Long Walk, one of the few books King released under the pseudonym Richard Bachman, is one of the least thematically powerful books I've read from him, and the characters are less fleshed-out than is the standard. However, it works wonders in its own category - the gimmicky premise makes for a setting that starts out gruesome and quickly becomes downright brutal. It's one of the hardest King books to put down, as the story keeps you engaged and thrilled, wanting to know how it all shakes out.

21. Christine

Christine isn't a literary masterpiece, but it's a damn fine horror book. King has a select few novels that I view as 'pure horror' - quite often his books under the horror genre stretch into a bunch of other categories for creative and artistic reasons, with the horror itself being only one element of many. But Christine is one of the 'big three' in terms of pure, authentic horror literature. It may be the least good of the three, but still.

When reading different people's rankings of King books when I embarked upon this quest, I remember one blogger ranking Christine low because "it was ridiculously arrogant of King to think he was such a good horror writer that he could make a haunted car scary", while another ranked it highly because "King is such a good horror writer that he can even make a haunted car scary!". I was curious to see which opinion I'd fall under, and one night when I was about 200 pages into the book, I was just about to fall asleep when I heard an engine revving in our inner yard, and had the inescapable thought: "Stephen King is a f**king good horror writer".

20. Lisey's Story

As cynical and grim as King's books often tend to be, the idealistic glimmer of romance often rears its head in his stories. This has a lot to do with King's real-life love story with longtime partner Tabitha King - many iconic authors never had the happiest love lives and this reflects onto their work, but with King, his by-all-accounts happy marriage has inspired many of his books to have genuinely healthy and moving romance storylines amidst all the horror and suspense. And his definitive love story has got to be Lisey's Story.

Many of King's later books drew inspiration from his life-changing near-death experience in 1999, and Lisey's Story is one of the more obvious ones - in this fictional tale, a popular horror author has tragically passed away, and his widow deals with the aftermath of her devastating loss. Parts of the book are very dark and gripping, but themes of a genuinely successful marriage and true love shine through in a heartfelt manner.

19. Carrie

King's debut novel is a bit of a mixed bag, but overall a very strong first effort and could be ranked even higher if not for a few minuses (such as the young writer still finding his language and style, and the actual horror not being all that scary, which is something he would grow to be the all-time great at).

The positives, however, are enough to put Carrie at an impressive 19th place: the story is told in a creative, out-of-the-box narrative frame, and the titular protagonist is a strong character. For an author that is often a bit lacking in writing female characters as interesting as their male counterparts, King managed to open his bibliography with a brilliantly written and complex female lead.

18. The Green Mile

Originally published as a 6-part serial novel and later adapted into one of the most celebrated films adapted from King's books, The Green Mile is a tear-jerking journey. Rarely have his gifts for creative supernatural concepts felt like such a mere backdrop: the book objectively falls under the fantasy genre and these elements serve the story well, yet one almost forgets that they're reading supernatural fiction when consuming this book, as the raw and real human emotions are front and center at any given moment.

Furthermore, the serial format is a fun deviation from the typical narrative structure from King novels or novels in general, as each of the six parts ends in its own mini-climax / cliffhanger.

17. Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption

I still find myself flabbergasted when trying to wrap my head around the fact that Stephen King wrote a novella, a certainly remarkable one yet not even among his quite best work, yet it served as the foundation for the greatest film of all time. How? I just don't get it.

I guess that Frank Darabont found the very core of what makes this little-over-100-pages story good, and expanded upon it with his cinematic chops. Whatever the case, there's no escaping that in this case, the big screen adaptation is better than the book it's based on. But the book is by no means bad - it's an excellent novella, with a story so good that the greatest film of all time could be done from it.

16. The Wolves of the Calla (The Dark Tower #5)

Yes, even the least good instalment of the seven main Dark Tower books makes it this high - I loved the series, it is bested only by Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy in the category of greatest book series I've read, and if I were to count the series as one work instead of seven, it would be in first place.

Anyways, the fifth instalment is subpar by the high standards of the series: the story, while amazing at best, definitely drags on at places. It starts off strong and ends in a spectacular climax, but the time our heroes spend slowly preparing for battle in Calla Bryn Sturgis is a bit overkill in the middle. It's one of the longest Dark Tower books, and unlike the other over-800-page instalments Wizard and Glass and The Dark Tower, this one could've done with more strict editing.

Still, it's The Dark Tower, and those mind-blowing final pages of the fifth book alone are enough to put it ahead of many lesser novels.

15. 'Salem's Lot

King's sophomore effort is a big leap from his first book, as impressive as Carrie already was. 'Salem's Lot is one of the three King books that I put into the magical 'pure horror' category, and within this group, it ranks higher than Christine but not quite as highly as a certain spooky masterpiece we'll get to later.

'Salem's Lot is a masterclass in the kind of horror that even my mother likes - no needless violence and gore, just creepy atmosphere-building and vibes. The fictional town of Jerusalem's Lot has a life of its own, with a narratively genius highlight being the few chapters in-between the typical character-POV chapters that are technically written from the point-of-view of the town itself.

14. Hearts In Atlantis

Hearts In Atlantis is many things: a hybrid between short story collection and cohesive novel as all of the mini-stories connect to each other in subtle ways, an important building block to understanding the Dark Tower lore, and a bittersweet love letter / therapy session for the 1960's. The book succeeds in all of these, making for a story that will make you reflect on themes from coming-of-age role models to the Vietnam war and the civil rights movement.

13. The Body

The source material for the evergreen Stand By Me is, despite its length being only around 150 pages, probably the best individual example for King being a great writer in general even outside the horror genre. The Body is a gripping coming-of-age story, standing out of the crowd with its combination of rawness and heart. Most coming-of-age stories (especially the ones that succeed in moving you) are filled with lovable characters and feel-good moments, but with The Body, you follow four kids from shitty circumstances who are total idiots with brutally foul mouths.

Yet, there's something in the story that strikes in the very heart of humanity, which makes the end result even more moving than most coming-of-age stories due to how real it is. Also, those final few paragraphs are possibly the biggest emotional gut punch in King's career, as I remember just crying my eyes out while reading it.

12. The Shining

Although I don't rank it quite as highly as many fans would, The Shining is a classic for a reason. There's a selection of novels by King that I found even more moving, memorable or literature gold than this one, but that doesn't take away from the awe-inspiring nature of the book often considered the greatest-ever in horror literature.

It's a tale of an alcoholic father whose mental state slowly deteriorates in isolation, told through creative supernatural metaphors - or a story about a haunted hotel with intense lore, as the family living there tries to fight its monsters and the dad's alcoholism is just a character trait - or something in between. I love the ambiguity of it all, and it's a gripping story no matter how you interpret it.

11. The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower #1)

"The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed"

That right there is the greatest opening sentence I've encountered in literature, period. King always knows how to open his stories (honorable mentions to the opening sentences of It, Salem's Lot and the final Dark Tower in particular), but this one stands out even from that crowd. In twelve words, we establish a protagonist, an antagonist, a setting, a power dynamic, a mystery, an atmosphere and an action. It's all right there. And that sentence opens an unforgettable, larger-than-life book series.

The first Dark Tower book is strange in many ways - the vibe (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly meets post-apocalypse steampunk meets fantasy literature) is different from anything King (or anyone) has done, and the story is admittedly ambitious and even mind-blowing while still feeling a bit small-scale when compared to everything the Dark Tower would expand to be. It's just the tip of the iceberg, but this particular iceberg is so enthralling that the tip alone is quite the journey.

10. On Writing

The only nonfiction work on this list (in addition to the Guns essay and the deep-end lines-of-reality-blurring metafiction elements in the last two Dark Tower books) is the book that King wrote, well, on writing. I'm glad as heck that he wrote it, as he has such unique wisdom to share. I read it at a point in my King phase were I was so addicted to his style of writing, that reading about the life of the man behind the stories and his writing style was truly illuminating.

For me as a writer, On Writing was inspiring on a concrete level (it gives many factual, from-a-writer-to-other-writers tips on topics from sentence structures and word choices to dialogue and story outlines, and I've gotten to use many of these tips in practice after reading the book), but also on a more emotional level (some of the true stories hit hard, like how he was about to give up on Carrie but his wife encouraged him to keep going, or how bad his substance abuse issues got before he got better, or how life-changing his near-death incident in 1999 ended up being). All in all, this is a very educational and eye-opening book that I recommend to all writers, fans of King or not.

9. Misery

Funnily enough, this work of fiction could've also been called On Writing. Several years before he got into the car-related incident that nearly cost him his life and inspired big chunks of On Writing, Lisey's Story and the two final Dark Tower books, King wrote this book about a popular author who gets into a car accident and is saved by a fan. Who is homicidal and unstable. And keeps him prisoner. And, upon learning that he's writing a new book where her favorite character will be killed off, forces him to write a new ending.

Layers of interpretation aside, Misery is just amazing literature. There were some parts where I was nearly moved to tears, not because the nature of the story was particularly emotional, but simply because King's sentences and word choices were so f**king good that the language truly touched my writer's heart. The excerpts from the fictional book-within-a-book are a delightful addition as well.

Still, perhaps the most profound thing about Misery is how it works as a metaphor for King's cocaine addiction at the time - the writer has confessed that he only realized the parable years later, claiming that Annie Wilkes forcing Paul Sheldon to write her ideas in her unreasonable pace was a manifestation of what the drug was doing to him, only he was so deep into the cycle of addiction that he didn't realize what he was really writing about.

8. Song of Susannah (The Dark Tower #6)

The penultimate Dark Tower book is a wild ride. Riding off the high of the massive cliffhanger at the fifth book's end, the plot starts to proceed at an unprecedented level. After going all "Let's just add a fuck-ton of worldbuilding and expanding mysteries, I'm sure it'll all find a natural ending at some point" for several books, King wrote the two final books with a clear direction and endgame in mind, and it shows - Song of Susannah feels like it's headed in a very certain direction, although what exactly this is remains a mystery to the reader.

Also, the bold fourth-wall-shattering self-insert metafiction element of the last books may be divisive, but I for one loved it. In a world full of writers who limit themselves with rules of what storytelling can be, Stephen King gleefully breaks these rules with loads of imagination, and I love it.

7. The Dark Tower (The Dark Tower #7)

For better or for worse, the culmination of the Dark Tower mythos, of my personal King-rabbit-hole project and of all his books in a larger sense was the right ending. Was it a good ending? That's debatable. The way it all shakes out is certainly bold, shocking, and controversial. But it's the right ending.

The best part of the final Dark Tower book, and the biggest reason for it being this high in my ranking, isn't how it ends, but everything that comes before it in the larger endgame. The book is filled with some of the most tense, epic and tear-jerking moments in all of King's biblography, as the sense of being near the climax leads to some high-stakes insanity. The connections to books like Insomnia, Hearts in Atlantis and It are less fun, Marvel-style easter eggs and more mind-bending reality-shattering links between worlds. The last chapter before the epilogues is a pitch-perfect masterpiece - so much so that I almost hope the book would've ended there. I understand why it couldn't, but honestly, that might have been my dream scenario.

What goes down in the epilogue follows King's vision and sheds new light on things, giving the Dark Tower mythos the ending that many fans still have trouble formulating an opinion on. Mind you, it's not bad - I'm not sure if it's good either, but I agree with the author himself that it's the right ending. Certainly a creative one, too - God damn, the guy has some balls.

6. Pet Sematary

The book that King wrote and then kept hidden in a shelf for years, concerned that he might've 'gone too far' in terms of just how scary a book can be, is the best of the three 'pure horror' books I enjoyed from his works. While a select few books made it above Pet Sematary on this list due to their overall literary value, this one is the best novel for King as a horror writer, and undoubtedly one of the greatest scary stories ever told.

The creepy atmosphere is built with perfection, and the horrifying escalation of the story will stick with you. I do not recommend this book to the faint of heart, but I do recommend it to all fans of horror - and in particular to the "horror books can't be as scary as horror movies" crowd, just to shut them up.

5. Wizard and Glass (The Dark Tower #4)

The fourth Dark Tower book is primarily told in flashbacks, finally shedding light on the backstory of protagonist Roland Deschain, whose lore had been shrouded in delightful yet frustrating mystery for the first three books.

What ensues is largely a love story, honestly one of the best of its kind, as this 800-page marathon immerses the reader in an atmospheric and slow-paced story with realistic, well-written characters, a milieu with its own fierce and romantic personality, and just a fuck-ton of emotion. Wizard and Glass will make you care about the story and its characters on a whole new level, with its passionate and slow-burning plot.

4. The Waste Lands (The Dark Tower #3)

I love how every Dark Tower book has its own personality - instead of being mere instalments where the story continues while the style remains the same, all seven have their distinctive identities, from the cryptic mysteries and western motifs of The Gunslinger and the cocaine-fueled adrenaline-driven pressure of The Drawing of the Three all the way to the personal and intimate feel of Wizard and Glass and the thoroughly climactic nature of The Dark Tower.

For the third book, The Waste Lands, the identity is "As The Lord of the Rings was one of King's big influences for the Dark Tower books, let's go full Tolkien for one book and just explore the hell out of this fascinating and imaginative fictional world".

After the first book purposefully withheld tons of information and context from the reader and the second was too busy with its pressing plot to do any worldbuilding, this is where we get to breathe and explore the intriguing nature of All-World. The plot is all over the place in the best possible way, with every possible development keeping the reader hooked and begging for more. There are complex heroes and fleshed-out villains, tense escapes and moving reunions, and elements of genres from horror and high fantasy to sci-fi and adventure. The book starts with a giant bear (no, really) and ends with a cliffhanger that will make your heart race.

3. It

I would've liked to put It at first place - really, #1 could've been any of my top three. It will always have a special place in my heart - it's the first King book I read, and it's definitely one of the most memorable and epic reading experiences of my life. My inspiration for my whole King-rabbit-hole-phase came from how good this book is. The reasons for it being 'only' third come down to nitpicking - the order of my top three was so difficult to decide, that the inevitable minus points for elements like the controversial sex scene ended up making the difference. It isn't perfect - but it's still a masterpiece.

As a coming-of-age tale, it introduces us to realistic, complex and humane characters whose stories you relate to and who you become staggeringly invested in. The horror is pure class - while Pet Sematary is the overall scariest King book, It comes close and has undoubtedly the scariest individual moment I've encountered in any form of horror fiction.

As the cherry on top, the book's narrative structure is deliciously experimental in a way that nerds like me are bound to worship. The storylines jumping from flashback to present mid-sentence, the interlude chapters enriching the lore, the one chapter written from the perspective of the 'It' being - it's enough to blow one's mind.

2. The Drawing of the Three (The Dark Tower #2)

The best Dark Tower book has just the most specific vibe. I can't quite put it to words - "pure adrenaline", "insanely fast-paced", "constant high-stakes pressure to the point that it shouldn't work yet somehow does" all come to mind yet they all feel like underselling.

You have to experience it for yourself in order to believe it - preferably while over-caffeinated, and in the span of as few days as possible. The Drawing of the Three is as 'page-turner' as it gets, immersing the reader in a mindset where shit is just constantly going down and about to go down and you're in a fuck-awful seeing-red rush to get to the next place before it's all too late. Probably the most thrilling book I've read in my life.

1. The Stand

Many King books felt like they'd deserve the #1 spot, yet on some level, none felt deserving of the mantle - the whole of King's biblography is even greater than the sum of its parts. But in the end, after lots of analysis, The Stand felt like the most deserving - mind you, The Dark Tower would be an easy #1 if the series was counted as one book. But none of the individual Dark Tower books, as great as they are, are quite as all-around literary gold as The Stand.

In this larger-than-life story, there's a lot to be impressed by - the insight into American culture, the creatively told post-apocalypse story, the supernatural elements and the various ways in which they tie into larger King lore, the engaging characters and the deep insight into human nature. But perhaps the most individual factor is the sheer scale of the story; The Stand isn't 1200 pages long because the story is particularly long-winded in an 'it just keeps on going' way or because it's so detailed in its descriptions. Rather, it's 1200 pages long simply because the scale of the story is so vast.

About a hundred pages into the book, the story still feels like it's getting around to starting as the major players have been introduced, about 300 pages into the book we meet the main antagonist for the first time, and about 500 pages into the book you feel like all the many, many moving parts are finally coming together in a smooth fashion. Another effect of the book's length is that when a certain major character is killed off late into the book, it feels like you've lost a friend, having spent hundreds of pages learning about his past, fears, secrets and dreams. As a reading experience, The Stand starts out curiosity-sparking and ends up cataclysmic.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for my ranking of the 10 latest Super Bowl halftime shows, including whatever Usher is going to come up with this Sunday for Super Bowl LVIII.

My Best of 2023 Winners

Greetings, reader!

Last week. I shared my annual personal nominations for various award categories concerning the best cinema, television and music of 2023. Here are the winners!

MOVIES

Best Costumes and Makeup

A Haunting in Venice

Winner: Barbie

Oppenheimer

The Little Mermaid

Wonka

Best Production Design

Winner: Barbie

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Oppenheimer

The Little Mermaid

Wonka

Best Animation

Nimona

Winner: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Best Visual Effects

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Cocaine Bear

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Winner: Oppenheimer

The Little Mermaid

Best Sound

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Winner: Oppenheimer

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

The Nun II

Best Editing

Barbie (Nick Houy)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Samu Heikkilä)

Winner: Oppenheimer (Jennifer Lame)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Mike Andrews)

The Little Mermaid (Wyatt Smith)

Best Cinematography

A Haunting in Venice (Haris Zambarloukos)

Barbie (Rodrigo Prieto)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Henry Braham)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Timo Salminen)

Winner: Oppenheimer (Hoyte Van Hoytema)

Best Score

A Haunting in Venice (Hildur Guonadottir)

Barbie (Andrew Wyatt & Mark Ronson)

Winner: Oppenheimer (Ludwig Göränsson)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Daniel Pemberton)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (Brian Tyler & Koji Kondo)

Best Original Song

Winner: Barbie (Mark Ronson & Andrew Wyatt, I'm Just Ken)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Metro Boomin, Self Love)

The Little Mermaid (Alan Menken & Lin-Manuel Miranda, The Scuttlebutt)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (Jack Black, Aaron Horvath & Michael Jelenic, Peaches)

Wonka (Neil Hannon, You've Never Had Chocolate Like This)

Best Supporting Actor

Barbie (Michael Cera as Allan)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Janne Hyytiäinen as Huotari)

Nimona (Eugene Lee Yang as Ambrosious Goldenloin)

Winner: Oppenheimer (Robert Downey Jr. as Lewis Strauss)

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (Jack Black as Bowser)

Best Supporting Actress

A Haunting in Venice (Michelle Yeoh as Joyce Reynolds)

Winner: Barbie (America Ferrera as Gloria)

Nimona (Frances Conroy as The Director)

Oppenheimer (Florence Pugh as Jean Tatlock)

The Little Mermaid (Melissa McCarthy as Ursula)

Best Acting, Non-Binary

Nimona (Indya Moore as Alamzapam Davis)

Winner: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Amandla Stenberg as Margo Kess: Spider-Byte)

Best Lead Actor

Barbie (Ryan Gosling as Ken)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Jussi Vatanen as Holoppa)

Winner: Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Shameik Moore as Miles Morales)

Wonka (Timothée Chalamet as Willy Wonka)

Best Lead Actress

Barbie (Margot Robbie as Barbie)

Winner: Kuolleet Lehdet (Alma Pöysti as Ansa)

Nimona (Chloë Grace Moretz as Nimona)

Oppenheimer (Emily Blunt as Kitty Oppenheimer)

The Little Mermaid (Halle Bailey as Ariel)

Best Screenplay

Winner: Barbie (Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Aki Kaurismäki)

Nimona (Robert L. Baird & Lloyd Taylor)

Oppenheimer (Christopher Nolan)

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Phil Lord, Christopher Miller & Dave Callaham)

Best Director

A Haunting in Venice (Kenneth Branagh)

Winner: Barbie (Greta Gerwig)

Kuolleet Lehdet (Aki Kaurismäki)

Oppenheimer (Christopher Nolan)

The Little Mermaid (Rob Marshall)

Best Picture

Barbie

Kuolleet Lehdet

Nimona

Winner: Oppenheimer

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Total wins:

Oppenheimer - 8

Barbie - 6

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - 2

Kuolleet Lehdet - 1

TELEVISION

Best Costumes and Makeup

Ahsoka

Saturday Night Live

The Crown

Winner: The Last of Us

The Mandalorian

Best Set Design

Kaleidoscope

Succession

The Crown

Winner: The Last of Us

The Mandalorian

Best Animation

Big Mouth

Winner: Futurama

Human Resources

Best Visual Effects

Ahsoka

Barry

Kaleidoscope

Winner: The Last of Us

The Mandalorian

Best Sound

Barry

Kaleidoscope

Ted Lasso

Winner: The Last of Us

The Mandalorian

Best Editing

Ahsoka (Dana E: Glauberman, Rosanne Tan & James D. Wilcox)

Barry (Ali Greer & Franky Guttman)

Winner: Succession (Ken Eluto & William Henry)

The Last of Us (Timothy A. Good & Emily Mendez)

The Mandalorian (Jeff Seibenick, Dylan Firshein & Rachel Goodlett Katz)

Best Cinematography

Barry (Carl Herse)

Kaleidoscope (Niels Alpert & Eric Moynier)

Winner: Succession (Patrick Capone & Katelin Arizmendi)

The Crown (Adriano Goldman & Sophia Olsson)

The Last of Us (Eben Bolter & Ksenia Sereda)

Best Score

Kaleidoscope (Dominic Lewis)

Succession (Nicholas Britell)

Ted Lasso (Marcus Mumford & Tom Howe)

The Crown (Martin Phipps)

Winner: The Mandalorian (Ludwig Göransson & Joseph Shirley)

Best Season Premiere

Futurama (The Impossible Stream, Season 11 Episode 11)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (The Gang Inflates, Season 16 Episode 1)

Saturday Night Live (Pete Davidson/Ice Spice, Season 49 Episode 1)

Winner: Succession (The Munsters, Season 4 Episode 1)

The Last of Us (When You're Lost in the Darkness, Season 1 Episode 1)

Best Season Finale

Futurama (All the Way Down, Season 11 Episode 10)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day, Season 16 Episode 8)

Kaleidoscope (White: The Heist, Season 1 Episode 9)

Succession (With Open Eyes, Season 4 Episode 10)

Winner: Ted Lasso (So Long, Farewell, Season 3 Episode 12)

Best Episode

Futurama (All the Way Down, Season 11 Episode 10)

Kaleidoscope (Green: 7 Years Before the Heist, Season 1 Episode X)

Winner: Succession (America Decides, Season 1 Episode 8)

Ted Lasso (So Long, Farewell, Season 3 Episode 12)

The Last of Us (When We Are in Need, Season 1 Episode 8)

Best Actor, Guest Performance

Saturday Night Live (Timothée Chalamet as Host/Various)

Succession (James Cromwell as Ewan Roy)

Ted Lasso (Matteo van der Grijn as Matthijs)

Winner: The Last of Us (Nick Offerman as Bill)

The Mandalorian (Giancarlo Esposito as Moff Gideon)

Best Actress, Guest Performance

Winner: Saturday Night Live (Kate McKinnon as Host/Various)

Succession (Cherry Jones as Nan Pierce)

Ted Lasso (Becky Ann Baker as Dottie Lasso)

The Crown (Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth II)

The Last of Us (Storm Reid as Riley Abel)

Best Supporting Actor

Barry (Anthony Carrigan as NoHo Hank)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly)

Saturday Night Live (Bowen Yang as Various)

Sex Education (Connor Swindells as Adam Groff)

Winner: Succession (Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy)

Best Supporting Actress

Saturday Night Live (Chloe Fineman as Various)

Sex Education (Emma Mackey as Maeve Wiley)

Succession (J. Smith-Cameron as Gerri Kellman)

Ted Lasso (Juno Temple as Keeley Jones)

Winner: The Crown (Elizabeth Debicki as Princess Diana)

Best Acting, Non-Binary

Big Mouth (Brandon Kyle Goodman as Various Characters)

Human Resources (Cole Escola as Montel)

Saturday Night Live (Molly Kearney as Various)

Sex Education (Dua Saleh as Cal Bowman)

Winner: The Last of Us (Bella Ramsey as Ellie Williams)

Best Lead Actor

Barry (Bill Hader as Barry Berkman)

Sex Education (Asa Butterfield as Otis Milburn)

Winner: Succession (Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy)

Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso)

The Last of Us (Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller)

Best Lead Actress

Barry (Sarah Goldberg as Sally Reed)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Kaitlin Olson as Dee Reynolds)

Sex Education (Gillian Anderson as Jean Milburn)

Winner: Succession (Sarah Snook as Shiv Roy)

The Crown (Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II)

Best Writing

Barry (Bill Hader, wow)

Big Mouth (Victor Quinaz, Jess Dweck & Brandon Kyle Goodman, The International Show)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Megan Ganz, Frank vs. Russia)

Winner: Kaleidoscope (Eric Garcia, Evan Endicott & Josh Stoddard, Green: 7 Years Before the Heist)

Succession (Jesse Armstrong, America Decides)

Best Directing

Barry (Bill Hader, wow)

Winner: Succession (Mark Mylod, Connor's Wedding)

The Crown (Christian Schwochow, Dis-Moi Oui)

The Last of Us (Craig Mazin, When You're Lost in the Darkness)

The Mandalorian (Rachel Morrison, Chapter 18: The Mines of Mandalore)

Best Television Series

Barry

Kaleidoscope

Winner: Succession

Ted Lasso

The Last of Us

Total wins:

Succession - 9

The Last of Us - 6

Futurama - 1

Kaleidoscope - 1

Saturday Night Live - 1

Ted Lasso - 1

The Crown - 1

The Mandalorian - 1

MUSIC

Best Opening Track

Anti-Flag - LIES THEY TELL OUR CHILDREN (SOLD EVERYTHING)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Rescued)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country ((I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (Rolling Stones Cover))

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Angry)

Winner: Ursus Factory - IO (Tuun Tuun Tuun)

Best Closing Track

Anti-Flag - LIES THEY TELL OUR CHILDREN (ONLY IN MY HEAD)

Bob Dylan - Shadow Kingdom (Sierra's Theme)

Boygenius - The Record (Letter to an Old Poet)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Rest)

Winner: Ursus Factory - IO (Tuulen Synty)

Best Album Artwork

Anti-Flag - LIES THEY TELL OUR CHILDREN (Doug Dean)

Duff McKagan - Lighthouse (Kuj Durollari)

Winner: Haken - Fauna (Dan Goldsworthy)

Metallica - 72 Seasons (David Turner)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Paulina Almira)

Best Drum/Percussion Performance

Boygenius - The Record (Barbara Gruska)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Dave Grohl)

Winner: Haken - Fauna (Raymond Hearne)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Charlie Watts)

Ursus Factory - IO (Aleksi Ripatti)

Best Piano/Keyboard Performance

Boygenius - The Record (Sarah Goldstone)

Duff McKagan - Lighthouse (Ryan Burns)

Winner: Haken - Fauna (Peter Jones)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Gordon Mote)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Elton John)

Best Bass Performance

Duff McKagan - Lighthouse (Duff McKagan)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Nate Mendel)

Winner: Haken - Fauna (Conner Green)

Metallica - 72 Seasons (Robert Trujillo)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Ronnie Wood)

Best Guitar Performance

Duff McKagan - Lighthouse (Slash)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Dave Grohl)

Winner: Haken - Fauna (Richard Henshall)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Zac Brown)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Keith Richards)

Best Vocal Performane

Winner: Boygenius - The Record (Phoebe Bridgers)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (Dave Grohl)

Haken - Fauna (Ross Jennings)

Jack Harlow - Jackman. (Jack Harlow)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Lainie Wilson)

Best Performance, Other Instrument

Bob Dylan - Shadow Kingdom (Bob Dylan, Harmonica)

Duff McKagan - Lighthouse (Aubrey Richmond, Fiddle)

Haken - Fauna (Miguel Gorodi, Trumpet)

Winner: Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Caroline Jones, Bouzouki)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (James King, Saxophone)

Best Mixing and Production

Winner: Boygenius - The Record (Boygenius, Catherine Marks)

Haken - Fauna (Jens Bogren, Haken)

Jack Harlow - Jackman. (Jack Harlow, FnZ, DJ Dahi & Boi-1da)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Robert Deaton, Danny Rader, Marcus King, Oscar Charles & Jay Joyce)

Ursus Factory - IO (Väinö Karjalainen)

Best Composition

Boygenius - The Record (Satanist)

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are (The Teacher)

Haken - Fauna (Beneath the White Rainbow)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Sweet Sounds of Heaven)

Winner: Ursus Factory - IO (6/6)

Best Lyrics

Anti-Flag - LIES THEY TELL OUR CHILDREN (VICTORY OR DEATH)

Boygenius - The Record (Satanist)

Jack Harlow - Jackman. (Denver)

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Dreamy Skies)

Winner: Ursus Factory - IO (Pastoral)

Best Music Video

Anti-Flag - SOLD EVERYTHING

Winner: Boygenius - Emily I'm Sorry

Foo Fighters - The Teacher

Haken - Taurus

Jack Harlow - They Don't Love It

Best Song

Boygenius - The Record (Not Strong Enough)

Haken - Fauna (Beneath the White Rainbow)

Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country (Sympathy For The Devil (Rolling Stones Cover))

The Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds (Sweet Sounds of Heaven)

Winner: Ursus Factory - IO (Tuun Tuun Tuun)

Best Album

Boygenius - The Record

Foo Fighters - But Here We Are

Jack Harlow - Jackman.

Winner: Stoned Cold Country - Stoned Cold Country

Ursus Factory - IO

Total wins:

Haken - 5

Ursus Factory - 5

Boygenius - 3

Stoned Cold Country - 2

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week for a big one: as my Stephen King project is finally finished, I'll be ranking all 30 books I read from him.