Hello, dear reader!
I finally got a chance to see F9, the newest addition to the franchise that holds a world record for ridiculous over-the-top stunts, mentions of 'family' in dialogue, and sequel titles so frustratingly inconsistent* that it's almost beautiful. I have a strange relationship with the franchise: many cinema buffs don't think much of these films, and I'm the least car-enthusiast person you'll ever meet, yet I am still strangely drawn to these movies. There's something about the main cast's chemistry, the overall tongue-in-cheek atmosphere and the growth the franchise has demonstrated over the years that really gets to me. Without further ado, here's my ranking of all the films in the franchise, including the newest release playing in theaters now!
*As the titles of the Fast & Furious films are a massive pet peeve of mine, I will start each entry's description by sharing my thoughts on why each particular film title doesn't fit in at all with the other titles.
10. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
My two cents on the title: this was the ninth Fast & Furious film to be released, yet the one after this is titled "F9", because this one is a spinoff and thus not considered to be part of the main franchise. Even though Tokyo Drift, also very much a spinoff, is considered to be the the third film instead of an in-between not-numbered entry like this one. And the Fast & Furious Presents: -prefix is strange, as it wasn't used in the previous spinoff. So, this title (like all titles in this gloriously messy franchise) doesn't make sense.
As for the movie, well, it doesn't make sense either. That in itself isn't a bad thing; Fast & Furious rarely makes sense but is awesome nonetheless. Hobbs & Shaw's main problem is that it feels like it's trying to be something completely different than Fast & Furious. I appreciated how the franchise took a turn from b-class action into high-budget blockbusters around movies 4-6, but by Hobbs & Shaw, the journey into the blockbuster realm has gone so far that the end product feels more like a Marvel movie than anything from a franchise that used to be about street racing.
Seriously, the movie's antagonist is literally a supervillain, with powers so sci-fi and superhuman that it feels wrong for the franchise. Fast & Furious was never realistic nor should it be, but at least it was somewhat supposed to take place in our world (albeit with different laws of physics). As much as I enjoy superhero movies, I didn't exactly need to see one from this franchise. Also, the film loses points for not having almost any of the franchise's best characters in it - and while Hobbs (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and Shaw (Jason Statham) are quite entertaining badasses, their chemistry isn't quite enough to carry a buddy-cop (or buddy-crime? It's all very unclear) movie.
9. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
My two cents on the title: not going to lie, 2 Fast 2 Furious is a clever and funny title. It doesn't fit in with the rest of the movie titles, but it doesn't have to; it's a good pun.
Back when the franchise didn't try half as hard as they do today, they released this sequel. While it has its strengths, it's painfully clear how little thought was put into 2 Fast 2 Furious when compared to many of the later instalments. Much of the plot is boring, the directing by John Singleton is sloppy, and 'the family' isn't present as Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez and others sat this one out.
However, there are elements that make the film worth watching. The franchise's hero whose story would later end in real-life tragedy, Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker), is at it again. We also meet Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris) for the first time, and those two would end up becoming integral parts of the Furious family. Also, amidst the mostly uninteresting plot, there are a few moments of early Fast & Furious greatness: the street racing opening sequence is a classic, and the yacht stunt in the climactic sequence is something that may seem tame compared to the stunts pulled off in later Fast movies, but was quite breathtaking for the time being.
8. The Fate of the Furious (2017)
My two cents on the title: again with a pun (the 'ate' part of the word "Fate" was replaced by the number 8 in many posters, as this is the eighth film). Not the greatest pun. Also doesn't fit in with any of the other titles aesthetically.
The Fate of the Furious is very much the Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) of this franchise; as in the film was released after what would've been a natural ending point for the series, thus generating negative attitudes as to why such a film is being made, but the film ended up being solid enough that most fans agree that there's no harm in doing more of these films, even if the franchise is slightly past its peak. While the franchise's 8th entry is less substantial and less cinematically impressive then the few that came before it, it's just as much of a high-budget blockbuster that will keep you entertained.
The absence of Paul Walker does hurt, as there is no replacing the man, but the franchise has plenty of characters to keep the family alive even without the original main guy. While parts of the film start to veer on the "so far out in the realm of mainstream blockbusters that it doesn't really feel like Fast & Furious" factor that would go out of proportion in Hobbs & Shaw, there are still enough car racing moments and Vin Diesel monologues about family that it feels close enough to home. Also, the final act ends with one of the craziest and most over-the-top stunts in a franchise very much built on crazy and over-the-top stunts.
7. F9 (2021)
My two cents on the title: once again, it's a name that is seemingly carefully handpicked to make sure that it doesn't fit in with any of the other movies. Instead of Fast & Furious 9, Fast 9, Furious 9 or any number of titles that would've had at least some thematic cohesiveness with one of the films, they went with just the letter 'F' this time around. What's even more absurd is that the film is tagged as F9: The Fast Saga in some promotional materials, which just - I mean - what??
Anyhow, I thoroughly enjoyed this newest addition to the franchise. Mind you, it is filled to the brim with cliché dialogue, plot-hole-riddled writing, and an unmatched disregard for gravity and physics. But that's what the franchise had come to be at this point, and what the fans expected. The main difference between this one and the previous few instalments is that F9 doesn't really even try to be serious, which gives it more space to goof off (in Fate of the Furious, the constant back-and-forth between 'serious drama' and cool car stuff was a bit awkward at times).
As sloppy as F9 is in terms of writing and any sort of believability, it's a fantastically entertaining flick full of solid action directed by Justin Lin, who returned to the franchise after a long break. I especially enjoyed F9's final act - I won't spoil it to people who haven't seen the film yet, but the absolutely mad writers went with something that I've been hoping for since Furious 7 but didn't think they would actually pull off. Hats off for giving fans what they want, at the expense of making the film critically respectable to the least!
6. Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
My two cents on the title: after the fifth movie was called Fast Five, they could've started making sense by calling the sixth one Furious 6. But no. They called it Fast & Furious 6. This is the only film in the franchise, where the title is simply the name of the franchise and then the number of the film. What a weird time to start naming the movies normally for just one film.
Most fans of the franchise would undoubtedly place the sixth instalment much higher: I'd guess that most have it in their top three, or at least top five. After all, it does originate from the 'peak' of the franchise: the main family is intact and in full swing, and the previous films had paved the way for the franchise taking itself more seriously while it hadn't yet veered into Marvel territory as it would in the later films. Why do I only have Fast & Furious 6 at sixth place, then? My best answer is that the film suffers from 'too much of a good thing' syndrome.
As will be lengthily described later in this post, Fast Five is a fantastic film. I reckon that after its release, the producers and writers figured something like "People loved Fast Five, so we should do a follow-up film that has all of the same stuff but 100x more". This ends up being a double-edged sword: the film does have many of Fast Five's strengths going on for it (the main cast of characters in their best form, awesome stunts and great-looking blockbuster shenanigans), but the movie feels incredibly bloated while trying to be so much at once. All of its quips, action sequences, vehicles, plot twists and action movie clichés hitting you at breakneck speed make for a bit of sensory overload.
5. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
My two cents on the title: back when the franchise was The Fast and the Furious instead of Fast & Furious, they released this spin-off. It doesn't fit in with the other spin-off, as this one doesn't have the "Presents:" in the title. It's almost as if they didn't plan these things through.
Anyways, it might surprise you to see the generally overlooked Tokyo Drift ranked this high. My enjoyment of the film is difficult to explain; as can be deduced from its honorable mention in my post about the Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies, it's not exactly the film's cinematic quality that makes into somewhat of a cult favorite. I recognize that it is sloppy in parts, a tad boring at others, and most of the franchise's best characters are woefully missing. But the film's vibrant setting and unique main character, as well as the focus on drift racing in particular, make it stand out as a Fast & Furious movie with a vibe of its own. It stands out from the crowd, and brings a new twist to the franchise.
While the writing and dialogue may be woeful even by the subpar standards of this franchise's early days, the directing is surprisingly good: many forget that this was the first Furious instalment to be directed by Justin Lin, who would go on to direct many of the most beloved entries in the series. Lin's style is immediately high on entertainment value, adding to the strange likability that this spin-off has despite its flaws.
4. Fast & Furious (2009)
My two cents on the title: Naturally, the FOURTH movie in the franchise is just called Fast & Furious. No numbers or anything indicating that this is a sequel. Simply the title of the first film, but with the &-symbol replacing the 'And the'. Infuriating.
Fast & Furious is a similar to film to Mission: Impossible III (2006). Both films were entries to a franchise that, until that point, had been largely unplanned and made one sequel at a time with each film having a largely different main cast. And to both franchises, there's this one film where the producers clearly decided that from that point on, they are going to plan multiple sequels ahead of themselves, adding a lot of thematic cohesiveness to the franchise. This film feels like a TV pilot: from this point on, there's a familiar core group of characters and a signature atmosphere that will appear in numerous future instalments to come. In other words, they started taking Fast & Furious seriously.
This transition from not-very-thought-out street racing flicks to well-planned high-budget blockbusters is not without its growing pains: parts of Fast & Furious feel like they're trying too hard to be serious, while other parts feel like they're not being serious enough. That being said, a vast majority of the movie is a delight; the first act where we finally see the franchise's two best characters reuniting, the exciting tunnel chase sequence towards the end, and especially the film's ending. The dramatic vibes of the ending (I won't spoil it here) are the first time that I felt legitimately emotionally invested in the franchise's story, and the very final seconds add a cool-as-hell cliffhanger twist to the otherwise somber ending.
3. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
My two cents on the title: I mean, it's the first one, so there was nothing to ruin. This title is OK. Of course, if it were to fit in with the later movie titles, it should've been called 'Furious & Fast ONEs' or 'F1 Racing' or some other ridiculous shit.
It might seem strange that I spend so much time writing about how great it is that Fast & Furious turned into a blockbuster franchise that got better with time, yet I still have the very first film in my top three. The reason? In its own category, The Fast and the Furious is quite golden. It doesn't try half as hard as the films from 2009's Fast & Furious onward, but it doesn't have to - in fact, that's the beauty of this movie. It recognizes that it's nothing more than an entertaining car flick, nor does it need to be. It never tries to be anything more. This keeps the atmosphere tight, light and fun from beginning to end.
Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are great in their roles from the start, and their chemistry in the lead roles is brilliant. While I'm not a car guy to the least, I do appreciate the entertainment value in the street racing sequences and the main characters' attachment to the world of cars - I sincerely believe that any topic, no matter how uninteresting one may find it in real life, can make for an awesome movie if the movie is made well and the story is told from a sincere human viewpoint.
Also, the stunt in the film's final sequence is badass and iconic.
2. Furious 7 (2015)
My two cents on the title: so, after the fifth one was called Fast Five, and the sixth one was stupidly called Fast & Furious 6 instead of Furious 6, they decided to call the seventh one Furious 7. This makes the titles of movies 5 and 7 thematically consistent, with the sixth one being annoyingly in between.
If you would've told pre-2015 Veikko that the seventh entry in a franchise about cars would move him to tears, he wouldn't have believed you for a second. But that is very much what happened. Furious 7 was colored by the tragic death of Paul Walker during the film's production, and the filmmakers scrambled to finish the movie in the best possible way with the horrible situation they were in. And what a job they did.
First of all, a majority of Furious 7 is classic prime Fast & Furious. The stunts are more over-the-top than ever before, with all laws of physics gloriously tossed out of the window. Having watched the franchise to this point, one can't help but enjoy the sheer absurdity of Dominic Toretto driving through a skyscraper's window in Dubai only to land on a different skyscraper, not to mention the sequence of cars parachuting onto a mountain or the clifftop sequence that is too deliberate for me to describe here but you should really see it for yourself.
But, there's no escaping the fact that the film's greatest asset is the beautiful way it pays tribute to the star they lost. Everyone involved did a perfect job with the final scene, where the movie gets real as Paul Walker's character is emotionally sent off to the backdrop of the tear-jerking Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth song See You Again and a powerful monologue from Vin Diesel. Not a dry eye in the audience.
1. Fast Five (2011)
My two cents on the title: a cool idea that the rest of the movies didn't really follow up on. An outlier of sorts.
Fast Five is many things. It's the unequivocal peak of the franchise, coming after the fourth film started taking things more seriously but before the sixth film started to blow things out of proportion. It's the perfect mixture of the early franchise's light and entertaining street racing aesthetic and the later franchise's Hollywood blockbuster extravaganza. It's a high point for the main cast of characters, with the addition of The Rock being the final piece to the puzzle of a perfect F&F ensemble. It's also one hell of a heist movie.
Fast Five is essentially Ocean's Eleven (2001) on wheels. It's got everything: the epic team-assembling montage, the badass heist-planning sequence, the intense moment of the heist actually going down, and the mind-blowing reveal. By the time Don Omar's Danza Kuduro starts to rock the soundtrack as things start to wrap up, the viewer is left with the strong feeling that they've just witnessed something far better than the fifth entry of a car-action franchise has any right to be.
Thank you for reading! Tune in for next week's blog, as I begin a major project long in the making: the Top 100 Movies of All Time. I've finally finished my list of my 100 favorite movies, and I will be sharing this list on ten consecutive weeks, each detailing ten movies further and further up in the ranking. This stars with next week's post on the movies from #100 to #91. Stay tuned!
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