Greetings, reader!
Welcome to the final post of Football Month. Today I'll be sharing my top 10 predictions for the 2022 World Cup, which for some f**king reason (read: because of money and corruption) is being played in Qatar this November. It'll be interesting to revisit these predictions once the tournament is over, to see just how well (or poorly) I did.
10. Lower viewership, and LOTS of protests (as there should be)
As I mentioned, the lovely summer tradition of having the FIFA World Cup every four years in some cool part of the world has taken a dark turn - Qatar's blood money has incentivized FIFA to have their tournament there, and the fact that the tournament has to be played in November due to the area's heat is the absolute least of the problems. The games take place on stadiums built buy modern-day slaves, and good luck if you're an LGBTQ+ football fan who wants to see the World Cup, as homosexuality is very much illegal in this lovely choice of host country.
So, naturally, I'm sure there is going to massive backlash as there should be. I'm guessing that quite a few viewers will tune out, as the timing and problems relating to the host country significantly dampen the magic usually associated with the World Cup. All of this might even affect the quality of football played - I'm sure the players will do a good job, but it must be hard to reach the same levels of passion and team morale in such a setting than it has been in more reasonable World Cups.
9. Incoming defensive masterclass by the Netherlands
This one is a long time coming - the Netherlands didn't qualify for the 2018 World Cup, and while the 2020 EUROs were supposed to be the grand stage for a new generation of Dutch heroes, the injury of captain and star defender Virgil Van Dijk got in the way of that. Now, it's in the cards for the post-Robben, post-Van-Persie era of the Oranje to show what they're made of. And their defense will be key.
While the Netherlands team has its share of impressive midfielders and forwards, their strongest suit is without a doubt their brilliant set of defenders. Liverpool's Virgil Van Dijk, Bayern's Matthijs De Ligt and Inter's duo of Stefan de Vrij and Denzel Dumfries have been integral parts of these world class teams, and haven't yet gotten to dominate together on the world stage. Bar injuries, any given team will have a tough time getting a goal past these folks.
8. Uruguay won't get out of the group stage - and Belgium will struggle in their group as well
Every major tournament is bound to have its flops and upsets, and my hot take is that Uruguay will be one of this World Cup's chief instances in that category. While the national team has done well in the last few decades, and there is some hype for new-generation players like Liverpool's new signing Darwin Nunez, I still don't have a lot of faith on their team reaching full potential this particular year. Hard to say why, but something just feels a bit off when looking at their squad's decent-but-not-amazing performances in the last Copa America and the World Cup qualifiers. Portugal will surely make it through from Group H, and while Uruguay might seem like the natural #2, I'm betting that they'll be ousted either by Ghana (wanting revenge for Luiz Suarez'z handball in the 2010 World Cup) or South Korea (I sense a Son Heung-Min masterclass in the horizon).
Another predicted flop that I'm betting on, but definitely not hoping for, is Belgium - I like their national team a great deal, but unfortunately I just don't see this being their year (but they are encouraged to prove me wrong!!). Their 'golden generation' seemed to reach a peak in their Bronze-winning 2018 World Cup campaign, and right now the team seems to be in an in-between phase: many of the 'golden generation' stars are retired or past their prime, while a new generation of superstars is still in the making and not quite ready to fully take on the world stage. In the end, I do reckon they'll make it our of group F - but only barely, and not too far into the knockout stage.
7. I don't care what you say - France won't win, in fact they'll drop out by the quarter-finals
Reigning champions France seem like huge favorites, with their insane squad - on paper, no other national team has as many currently elite-level footballers as the country of Benzema, Mbappe, Kante, Pogba, Hernandez et cetera. But no, I don't think they'll win this one.
First of all, there's the World Cup winners' curse, where the reigning champions have often dropped out much earlier than expected. Secondly, there's reason to believe that these superstars might not work all that well as a team - Kylian Mbappe's selfish betrayal of Real Madrid (yes, I said it) has likely ruffled the feathers of Benzema and company, and in general, the amount of big egos in the team's attacking section is arguably even more massive than their footballing ability. So my bold prediction is that Les Bleus will drop out in the round of 16, or at the very latest in the quarter-finals.
6. Senegal go far
An African country has never made it to the semi-finals of a World Cup, although they came extremely close in 2010 (I'm guessing poor Asamoah Gyan still has nightmares of hitting that crossbar). I'm not necessarily saying that reigning AFCON champions Senegal will make it that far, but I'm not ruling it out either - I'm counting on a very solid campaign from them. Sadio Mané found a whole new prime last spring, and I'm guessing he'll bring the same fierce energy to the World Cup, as will Chelsea's world-class goalkeeper Édouard Mendy, world's-most-underrated-centre-back Kalidou Koulibaly and company.
Making it out of Group A together with the Netherlands, leaving Ecuador and host nation Qatar behind? Definitely. Progressing from the Round-of-16 to the top eight? Extremely possible. Defying precedent and making it all the way to the semi-finals? Wouldn't call it likely, but still within the realm of possibility. In any case, I'm counting on Senegal having the best campaign out of all the five African teams in the tournament.
5. A masterclass by the club flops (Lukaku for Belgium, Pogba for France, Maguire for England etc.)
When predicting which players will have a great World Cup, success in one's professional team naturally carries a lot of merit - Joao Cancelo and Bernardo Silva's brilliant 2021/22 season with Manchester City makes me think they'll pull a masterclass for Portugal this November, just like Alvaro Morata's string of underwhelming seasons with Juventus make me doubt if he'll make it as Spain's main striker. But this factor is never the whole truth, as there are many players who have a history of performing better for country than for club.
The archduke of this player type has always been France's Paul Pogba, who I'm guessing will pull off a great individual performance once again, despite my prediction of France's overall campaign flopping a bit. Similarly, I reckon that Romelu Lukaku will be rock-solid for Belgium despite having a very underwhelming Chelsea season behind him, just like Harry Maguire will once again prove his importance in Gareth Southgate's England system no matter how miserable he has been for Manchester United.
4. Ronaldo and Messi's last dance
By all accounts, this will be the final World Cup for all-timer legends Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi (also for Neymar, but I prefer not to lump him in with these two even greater legends). While it is completely possible that Portugal and/or Argentina would flop under pressure, I'm guessing that this won't happen. While neither team will win the tournament in my view (more on that later), they will make it far - very possibly to the silver and bronze places.
Ronaldo and Messi have been known to be just as passionate as they are skillful, and with this being their last chance in a tournament they have never won, I can only imagine how both individuals will give 110 per cent in each match, doing their everything to help their team go far. God, imagine the scenes if Argentina is drawn against Portugal.
3. Three North American teams in the knockout stage (and one in the quarter finals)
This one is a bit bold, but bear with me - North American countries have some serious football (or soccer, heh) momentum going on. My secondary home country, The United States, have the best squad they've had in ages, with the likes of Chelsea star Christian Pulisic and Juventus midfielder Weston McKennie calling the shots. Similarly, the historically unsuccessful Canadian football team is looking weirdly strong, as names such as Bayern Munich's star defender Alphonso Davies and Ligue 1 goalscoring machine Jonathan David have elevated them to whole new levels. Mexico is always solid (I'm convinced that their goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa only exists in World Cup fixtures), and Costa Rica has some potential as well.
Therefore, I'm declaring that not one, or even two, but three North American teams will make it out of the group stage and into the round of sixteen. One of them (hopefully the U.S.!) will even make it further, all the way to the quarter-finals. If true, this would be an exceptionally successful World Cup for North America, as I reckon it will be.
2. Golden Boot for Ronaldo, Golden Glove for Emiliano Martinez
I went back and forth several times with my Golden Boot predictions, but in the end, it had to be CR7 - I'm guessing Portugal will go far, and he usually scores like 97 per cent of their goals (I may be exaggerating, but not by a lot). His Golden Boot prospects will be challenged by many, but none will quite reach his levels - Benzema will be cut short when France are eliminated earlier than expected, there's only so far that Lewandowski can carry a team like Poland, and Messi won't be scoring as many goals as Ronaldo because he also knows how to pass the ball.
The Golden Glove, however, will go to Argentina's keeper Emiliano Martinez. While he has been solid for Aston Villa, his international efforts have been on a whole other level: he was a key part of Argentina's victorious Copa America campaign in 2020, and he constantly outperformed expectations in the World Cup qualifiers. I'm guessing that Argentina will make it far, and Martinez's goalkeeping will be a key part of this - I see at least two penalty saves, three clean sheets and one man-of-the-match award in his path.
1. F**k it - ENGLAND'S GONNA WIN!
Yes, yes, yes, I know, I know: curse this, bad luck that, referees this, overrated that, et cetera.
However, may I raise a counterpoint?
IT'S F**KING COMING HOME!
I mean, something has to balance out the horrible nature of the World Cup being played in Qatar in the winter, and what better to lift the spirits of world football than the country that invented the sport finally getting a long-overdue win? After many subpar performances, the Three Lions have started to claw their way closer to major trophies, as they made it to the semi-finals in the 2018 World Cup, and the final of the 2020 EUROs. And now, their squad is looking better than ever.
I know that a lot of things could go wrong. But barring injuries, referee mistakes, divine interventions and random SNAFUs, hear me out: if we see the Jordan Pickford who showed up for the last EUROs, a back-line including world's best full-back Trent Alexander-Arnold and world-class centre-back John Stones, a midfield dominated by the severely underrated wizard Declan Rice, and an attack with options ranging from Kane to Mount to Foden to Sterling to Grealish to Saka to Rashford and more - who the hell is standing in this team's way?
BTW, Declan Rice is winning Player of the Tournament after England has won the final. You heard it here first.
Thank you for reading! Tune in next week, as I return to my usual movie/tv themes with a list of the top 10 greatest summer camp movies.
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