My friend asked me to rank these 10 random things. Here we go!

Greetings, reader!

My good friend Tuukka gave me an interesting challenge a while back. We were discussing lists, and the challenges of comparing two very different kinds of films when making a movie ranking or two very different types of songs when making a music ranking. He started to wonder whether or not I'd be able to compare things from totally, wildly different categories in the form of a list. I reckoned that sure, it sounds like a challenge, but a fun one at that. So he gave me a list of ten random (and amusingly Seinfeldian) things, from totally different categories, demanding that I make a top 10 out of them based on my own subjective preferences. No, this doesn't have anything to do with movies or TV, but f**k it, of course it was always going to be a blog post. Here's my top 10 of the things Tuukka asked me to rank!

10. The Pope

We kick the list off with the one that was especially hard to compare to the others in the context of the ranking - the Pope. I had to present some specifying questions to Tuukka, wanting to know if he meant the Pope as in the current dude, or the concept in general. He replied saying that it's something in between - not the concept, but not any specific dude either. So, I suppose I'm ranking the very institution of the Pope here.

I was raised Lutheran myself, and these days see myself as a mixture of agnostic and modern Lutheran, so I don't have any particular emotional bond to the Pope or the Vatican personally. I hope that I'm not offending any Catholic readers by ranking the Pope at #10 - like I said, I have no real personal bond, and while I recognize that there have been good Popes and the current one has taken many things forward, the institution in general has represented many things that don't sit well with my personal worldview.

9. A slow elevator

A slow elevator can be annoying if you're in a hurry, but in another context, it can be quite atmospheric. But even at their best, I don't have any particular soft spots for slow elevators, so I can't rank them especially high. Especially when considering what they can be at their worst - imagine stepping into an elevator, only to bump into an annoying acquaintance, and the awkward elevator ride seems to take forever. Yikes.

8. Traffic lights

Traffic lights often seem like an everyday annoyance, as none of us enjoy waiting forever or missing the start of an important meeting because of a red light which, like a slow elevator, seems to go on forever. That being said, I recognize the importance of traffic lights as a part of our infrastructure, and society would go to chaos if we suddenly lost them. They keep things in control and help us go on with our everyday lives, so they deserve their share of modest appreciation.

7. Tripping without falling

I'm a glass half-full guy, so tripping without falling is less "Oh man, I almost fell, that was so embarrassing" and more "Yay, I didn't fall! That was a close call!" for me. Also, someone with my general clumsiness almost-falling can often be a visually comical sight, bound to make the people around me laugh in good faith, and I'm glad to provide that moment of physical comedy for them. If you don't take life too seriously, tripping without falling is a gift.

6. A door that doesn't open into the anticipated direction

Like the previous entry, a door that you try to open the wrong way can be seen as a silly moment and a mini-adventure, if you see life through the optimist's lens. Of course, there are situations where it can feel like a mere annoyance, like if you're stressed out and in a hurry. But in general, it's just a good laugh. The sauna at my girlfriend's folks' place has a door that I always try to open the wrong way no matter how many levels of over-thinking I go through in my head, and it has become quite the lovable running gag.

5. A t-shirt that fits well

This one is solid. No particularly strong feelings, but it does naturally feel nice to put on a shirt that fits just right - certainly more comfortable than a shirt that doesn't. Being a thoroughly solid thing but not as strongly positive as some on the list, the well-fitting shirt finds itself at fifth place.

4. A freshly mowed lawn

Mm. I'm sure my appreciation for this particular concept will rise in the ranks if I eventually have my very own house with a lawn. For now, living in my cozy student apartment, the premise feels a bit unfamiliar but not completely - for years, I lived in my parents' house, and I do like the smell and feel of a lawn that was just mowed. So, it's a thoroughly decent thing, but my level of emotional investment just isn't quite what it might become someday.

3. Cats

Just to be clear, this refers to the animal, not the musical (and certainly not the movie adaptation of the musical, which would find itself at last place even if the concepts to rank included burnt toast and Metallica's St. Anger album).

But, yeah. Historically, I haven't always been the biggest cat enthusiast, but I have grown fonder of them in the last few years. My exact opinion really depends on the cat - some friends who shall remain nameless have such pets of a rather demonic and barbaric nature, while others are just the loveliest boss-attitude furballs one can imagine. The average cat is quite pleasant company, which is why the animal is ranked this highly - I've never really felt the burning passion to get one for myself though (although I'm definitely not ruling it out either), and that's why they're barely out of the top two.

2. Your favorite food, but it's too cold

How highly one ranks this concept really depends on what their favorite food is. Mine happens to be penne al'arrabiata, the way my old man makes it, and let me tell you - it's hellishly good when cold as well. I mean, it's definitely better when it's warm, which means that the 'it's too cold' description is a valid way of making it slightly less desirable. But still, it'll fill you up and be more delicious than many other meals in such a situation. So, I'm putting it all the way at #2.

1. A good friend with an annoying way of speaking

I mean, let's be real - a good friend, no matter how obnoxious their speech, is still a good friend. Not just a friend, which already is quite a special genre of person, but a good friend. I'll take that any day of the week. This being at #1 is a combination of how much I value good friends, and how 'speaks annoyingly' isn't a big pet peeve for me like it is for some people. For example, I've never understood how people always complain about Nancy Pelosi's way of speaking - if you're a fellow Democrat who agrees with what she's saying, why make such a big deal about the manner of her talking when you could be focusing on the actual substance of the words?

Of course, you could go into semantics with this one as well if you wanted to, acknowledging whether the friend's way of communicating is annoying in a 'over-emphatizes the first syllables of some words' way or a 'casually uses racial slurs' way. But I'd like to think that someone whose way of speaking was bad on a moral level wouldn't earn the moniker of 'good friend' in the first place. If you're good enough to be a good friend, your way of speaking won't be a dealbreaker. Even if you have the habit of playing each argument from both sides in a philosophical search for the absolute truth.

Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I celebrate the 20-year anniversary of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) by ranking every scene from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.