Thursday, October 15, 2026

Top 10 fictional TV shows / movies from TV shows / movies

Greetings, reader!


Following "Top 10 best movies never made" two weeks ago, and "Top 10 greatest movies I have never seen" from last week, this is the culmination of my silly un-movie trilogy. Today we're looking at the greatest TV shows and/or movies that only exist within other TV shows and/or movies. Whether it's a made-up movie in a movie about movies, a fictional movie featured as a plot element in a TV show, a fake TV series made for the purpose of a real movie, or a show in a show about shows, these are my favorite fictional TV shows / movies. They're not ranked just based on how good they'd necessarily be, but based on the ingenuiety of the idea, how well it serves the plot, and how curious I'd be - for one reason or another - to see the whole thing if it was real.


Here are my honorable mentions: Cleaver (The Sopranos), Invitation to Love (Twin Peaks), The Orchid Thief (Adaptation.), Threat Level Midnight (The Office), and all the fake game shows from Saturday Night Live.


10. The McBain franchise (The Simpsons)

Sure, The Itchy & Scratchy Show would be a more popular choice - but I'd choose McBain over it any day of the week. Itchy & Scratchy is a fun gag and decent satire about violence in media, but the McBain franchise is different gravy. From the brilliant concept of lead actor Rainier Wolfcastle, a thinly veiled Schwarzenegger parody, to the over-the-top action sequences riddled with every cliché imaginable, these are just pure gold. My favorite element is the "secret story" gag - if you watch every McBain clip we see throughout The Simpsons, interspersed across tens of seasons, they actually tell a well-built, cohesive story. That's cool as shit.

9. All My Circuits (Futurama)

I've always held on to my hot take that Matt Groening's lesser-known sitcom Futurama is extremely underrated, and in fact, slightly better than The Simpsons - and funnily enough, it places just one spot above it on this list as well. Throughout the show's run, we often see clips of All My Circuits - an all-robot soap opera that is all the rage in the 31st century. And yes - a generic soap opera parody, but with a robot twist, is just as hilariously entertaining as it sounds.

8. The Thunder Gun franchise (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Originally introduced in the utterly fantastic episode Thunder Gun Express, this fictional movie franchise combines all sorts of action franchise clichés while adding its own, IASIP-specific twist to become fantastically bonkers. The concept is funny in itself, and absolutely hysterical when you factor in the main characters' relationship to the franchise.

My favorite instance of Thunder Gun lore comes in Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool, which I consider to be the best episode of the sitcom's fourteenth season. In a razor-sharp commentary on current culture wars around the world of cinema, the gang is chosen as the focus group for a new Thunder Gun sequel. The film attempts to bring the franchise to the modern day with a "woke" direction, and oh boy, the main characters of this satirical anti-sitcom make for the most pitch-perfect exploration of the attitudes that take over the internet whenever a real film franchise does anything of the sort. Gags like the gang not realizing the painfully obvious subtext in the "passing the torch" sequence are pure gold.

7. The Passions of Santos (Jane the Virgin)

It was difficult to choose the best fictional TV series from Jane the Virgin - major character Rogelio De La Vega (Jaime Camil) works as a TV actor throughout the series, and we follow the behind-the-scenes misadventures of several fictional shows via his storylines. An argument could be made for any one of them: the sci-fi telenovela Tiago a Través del Tiempo is hilariously over-the-top, the conceptual Los Viajes de Guillermo is funny in an amiable and memorable way, and then there's The Passions of Steve and Brenda - the American remake of Rogelio's original telenovela, which works as a beautiful meta commentary on Jane the Virgin itself (although it spirals from there, eventually becoming This Is Mars).

But after all is said and done, I have to go with the OG - The Passions of Santos. It's the telenovela in which Rogelio stars when the show begins, and is intensely followed and loved by a majority of the show's other characters. The parallels between the fiction and the fiction-within-the-fiction are at their freshest and most clever here, and after the show is over and Rogelio moves on to other things, the Passions of Santos lore becomes a warm and nostalgic staple of Jane the Virgin.

6. Angels with Filthy Souls (Home Alone)

My seventh-graders always choose Home Alone for their end-of-the-period movie in my music class, so I've had two cases of watching the movie five or six times a week (and getting paid for it) during the past year - and that's on top of having seen the film a good 15-ish times before that in my life. Mind you, I'm still not sick of it - that's how great Home Alone is.

When you watch that movie that many times in rapid succession, you really start to pick up on every single detail (for example: you know how the McCallister family is comically filled with people at the beginning of the film, with references to a complex family tree? I now know the name of every single character in the extended family, and how they all relate to one another). And so, I've become intimately acquainted with Angels with Filthy Souls, the made-up black-and-white gangster movie that Kevin watches and later uses to trick the Little Nero's delivery guy (and later yet, the crooks).

Sure, we all remember classic lines like "ONE, TWO...TEN!" and "Keep the change, you filthy animal". But oh man, I've had the time to analyze the less memorable lines leading up to that, to the point that I have a pretty good idea of the dynamic between the gangsters Johnny and Snakes, the role of the off-screen character Acey who is mentioned, and the likely events leading up to the violent confrontation we know and love. I'm a bit less well-versed on the sequel, Angels with Even Filthier Souls, that Kevin watches in Home Alone 2 - but I'm getting there.

5. Joan Is Awful (Black Mirror)

Oh, I love it when they go full meta. In what is the undoubtedly Kaufman-iest episode of Black Mirror, and naturally one of my biggest favorites from the show as well, we follow Joan. She's a regular woman, with all sorts of mundane drama going on in her life, until one day she comes home, turns on the TV, clicks on an interesting-sounding new show on the streaming service Streamberry - only to find out, to her existential horror, that the series is about her life, with the pilot episode recounting things that happened to her on that very day.

Now, I'm not saying that Joan Is Awful would be a particularly good show (and definitely not an ethical one, either) if it was real, unlike many on today's list. But I had to rank it high, because the very concept of it is so amazingly creative. In the post-post-information age we live in, with AI "art" being shoved down our throats while questions about digital consent become more and more dystopian, this premise feels relevant as hell, and ultimately quite profound in all scariness.

4. Two Brothers (Rick and Morty)

I really could've gone with any one of the zany and inventive pieces of media that we see in the iconic episode Rixty Minutes, and its sequel Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate. For those not familiar, there are two episodes of Rick and Morty that consist pretty much entirely of the characters just watching TV, flipping around to see what different channels from different dimensions have to offer. Apparently, they were all produced in the following manner: the voice actors would just improvise some crazy-sounding TV show, and the animators would work around that to create what the show ends up looking like.

There are so many gems to choose from here: the absurd reality show Man Vs. Car, the chaotic morning show hosted by twins Michael and Pichael Thompson, the absolutely glorious trailer for Jan Quadrant Vincent 16...but if I had to choose one, I kept coming back to Two Brothers. The whole sequence is peak Rick and Morty.

3. TGS with Tracy Jordan (30 Rock)

30 Rock is another show full of fictional movies and TV shows with hysterical premises, as this is a key component the show's nature as a satire of modern showbusiness. Choosing TGS, the main show-within-a-show, almost felt like a boring choice - the sketch comedy often feels like little more than a stand-in for Saturday Night Live, whereas many of the movies and shows in the 30 Rock universe have more of an original personality to them. Who could forget movies like the poorly marketed The Rural Juror or Tracy Jordan's Black Cop / White Cop, as well as the reality show MILF Island?

But then again - TGS is home. Yes, it's a thinly veiled SNL metaphor, but that is by no means a bad thing. If anything, that ensures that Tina Fey was conveniently able to draw every little bit of inspiration from her experience in the crazy world of Saturday Night Live into this series, often making it feel like a behind-the-scenes look at that world, albeit an exaggerated one. So many of 30 Rock's most unforgettable episodes and moments stem from the work they do on TGS, so I had to pick that as the show's representative on today's topic.

Also, unlike its real-world counterpart, TGS never had a guest host do a monologue where he calls women whores. If that happened in a 30 Rock storyline, many of the characters would probably deem that it's time for Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) to retire and for Tina Fey's character to take over. Just throwing that out there.

2. Lyman's Boys / Pucks (Episodes)

Episodes, an underappreciated gem that flew sadly under the radar, is a scathing critique of Hollywood and showbiz - and more specifically, a surgical look at why so many American adaptations of British shows have failed. In the series, we follow two British writers who have just finished the critically acclaimed run of a show called Lyman's Boys - a smart, witty, classy and slow-paced British sitcom about the headmaster of a boys' school and his rambunctious students. The writers are approached by a Hollywood producer, offering a deal that they move to Los Angeles and write an American adaptation of the series! With stars in their eyes, the writers take the deal - only for their deal to turn into the utmost nightmare.

They quickly notice how their intelligent ideas are bulldozed by boardrooms full of soulless Hollywood execs, out-of-touch people who see the TV show only as a product to make money off of, and the soul of the series is thus slowly stripped away until it becomes a shallow echo of itself. Through a catastrophic chain of bad ideas, Lyman's Boys becomes Pucks - a generic and fast-paced sitcom, where the students are replaced by a hockey team, and the headmaster becomes their coach - who is played by Matt LeBlanc (the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. alumnus stars in Episodes as an exaggerated version of himself).

Throughout the razor-sharp satirical dialogue in Episodes, a few things become clear - the writers of the show (the real one, not the fictional ones) had some amazing insight into modern showbusiness, and one wishes that these made-up TV shows would be real just so you could watch them. I can only imagine what a glorious train-wreck Pucks would turn out to be, while it pains me that Lyman's Boys isn't real as they make it sound so genuinely amazing.

1. Abed's Jesus movie (Community)

I mean - it is the greatest movie ever made, and since Shirley destroyed the footage, you can't prove me wrong. I heard that it's the same movie backward and forward, and that the deleted scenes are the scenes and the scenes are the deleted scenes. Say what you will about Abed - the man cannot be killed.




Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I tackle the ever-nearing 2026 midterm elections by sharing how I ranked Alaska's candidates for the House and Senate on my ranked-choice ballot!

Thursday, October 8, 2026

Top 10 best movies I've never seen

Greetings, reader!


So, this is a strange title, but let me explain. Following last week's "Top 10 greatest movies never made" post, I figured that this would also be a fun concept to tackle: as opposed to the classic "Top 10 best movies I've ever seen", I'm going to look at the (probably) greatest movies that I haven't seen. Essentially, this is a collection of really good-sounding films, ones that I've been meaning to catch for a long time but haven't gotten around to it. It's not just based on how "must-see" the film is considered to be, either - these are ranked based on how sure I am that I would like the film, based on what I know about it. A heartfelt recommendation from a friend whose taste I trust, for example, has much more weight than a film's IMDB rating or amount of Oscars won. That being said, most of these are big classics, so publishing this list will definitely hurt my credentials as an as-if cinephile and cause a whole lot of "WHAT THE HELL MAN, HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THIS FILM, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED GOOD SIR" - and I'm fine with that. Maybe it'll motivate me to finally watch this surely-great films!


Here are my honorable mentions: Modern Times (1936), Rashomon (1950), The Apartment (1960), Kiki's Delivery Service (1989), The Devil Wears Prada (2006).


10. Rear Window (1954)

Hitchcock is one of the greats, and I've enjoyed everything I have seen from him - so I can only assume that the same would apply to this acclaimed work. It's been on my shortlist forever - it's not just because of its iconic status, but also because its premise sounds genuinely compelling and like something I'd be interested in seeing even if it wasn't a universally praised classic. I also love the Simpsons episode Bart of Darkness, which I've understood to largely be a homage to Rear Window, so I've always been curious to see the source of the references. Add to that the fact that James Stewart plays the lead role, and it gets extremely hard to imagine that I wouldn't love this film.

9. Princess Mononoke (1997)

A major recurring theme on today's list will be Studio Ghibli - I've watched embarrassingly few of their movies. It's not that I have anything against them, either! Every Ghibli film I've seen has been excellent, but I just somehow haven't gotten around to seeing very many (not growing up with these movies and only discovering them as a young adult is a partial explanation, but at this point, it's no excuse).

There are a few different Ghibli movies that have such a status that I always cause outrage in my friends when it comes out that I've missed that specific film - and Princess Mononoke is one of the big ones. I've managed to avoid all spoilers so I don't really know what the film is about...but I've experienced the passion with which Ghibli fans talk about this one, and I've seen it top quite a few Ghibli rankings that people have made, so I figure it must be pretty amazing.

8. La Vita È Bella (1997)

With an 8.6 rating, this Italian classic is sitting at the 27th place of IMDB's all-time top-rated movies - making it the highest-ranking film from that list that I haven't seen. Now, popular opinion isn't everything, but a film has to be doing something very right in order to get such a rating - I know that all of the 26 movies ahead of this one are all dynamite (gun to my head, I'd have to choose David Fincher's Se7en as the worst of the bunch, and that says a lot). Not to mention the fact that this movie is ahead of universally beloved works like Back to the Future, The Lion King and Casablanca...yeah, this I gotta see.

7. Prisoners (2013)

This is probably the most subjective pick on today's list - sure, it's a well-received film, but not quite on the level of classic stature as the other nine. It's here mainly because it's very rare for a film that I haven't seen yet to check so many of my personal boxes; everything I've heard about Prisoners is a green flag for my taste in cinema. The premise sounds intriguing within its genre, the trailer looks amazing, director Denis Villeneuve has not been known to make a subpar film, and the cast (Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis, Paul Dano)...chef's kiss. I can't believe that I've been meaning to watch this for thirteen years, and still haven't gotten around to it.

6. The Truman Show (1998)

Status as a modern classic aside, I've gotten so many personal recommendations for this one! I am interested in critical acclaim and accolades, but I'm so much more interested when someone who knows me says "Hey, I saw this film and you came to mind, I think you specifically would like it!". Historically, such recommendations have lead to the discovery of absolute gems like Hair (1979), About Time (2013) and Calamari Union (1985).

Also, I'm pretty sure I've managed to avoid at least some spoilers (I thought that the big twist had been ruined for me, but I've since gathered that the thing I know is the initial premise and there is some twist beyond that, and I've been dodging further spoilers ever since)...I should really get around to watching this one.

5. Sunset Boulevard (1950)

A winner of 3 Oscars and widely considered a Best Picture snub, directed by Billy Wilder and starring the classiest A-listers of its time, and constantly appearing on every "Greatest movies of all time" list I encounter, this one hits all the marks. It's not just that it's such a classic either - everything about the film's vibe hints at it being the specific type of old classic that I'm bound to enjoy a lot. The film's poster strikes such a prime-Hollywood aesthetic, not to mention that downright magical IMDB synopsis: "A failed screenwriter falls into a mercenary romance with a faded silent-film star". Every word better than the last.

4. Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Told you there'd be more Ghibli! With most of the films on today's list I've mainly heard praise, but with this one, I've heard at least an equal amount of warnings. Warnings about tears and heartbreak, that is. I've managed to avoid spoilers, but just based on what I've heard about the initial setting, I feel like I can guess what the infamous grimness comes from.

I've always loved gripping movies - they require a certain state of mind to get through, and they certainly take their toll on viewers like me who get emotionally invested at the drop of the hat. This film must really be something, as I've heard such an exceptional amount of "oh man, brace yourself" disclaimers - but that just makes me want to watch it more. I'm not sure if that's a morbid-curiosity thing, an "I like to be moved by art" thing or a "Challenge accepted" thing, but either way...I gotta see this one.

3. Apocalypse Now (1979)

While there are two films ahead of this one for various reasons, this is the "objectively" biggest classic (if there is such a thing) that I haven't seen. No other film that has eluded me has gained this amount of universal acclaim, and status in the world of cinema. It's one of the biggest movies in the war genre, it's one of the most respected and influential movies from the 70's, there are several lines that I've known for over ten years despite not having seen the film, and it's second only to the Godfather films when people discuss Francis Ford Coppola's culturally relevant filmography. I've been ashamed of missing Apocalypse Now for years now, and will continue to do so until I finally get around to watching it. One of these days, man...

2. Cinema Paradiso (1988)

I mean, this is just a mythical level of classic. It's a title that cinephiles say with a slight tremble of respect and awe in their voices. I have heard so many positive things about this film, and seen it on so many "Greatest movies of all time" lists, while hearing exactly zero criticisms in the process. It must be pretty f**king good. Not to mention how compelling the premise sounds - I love movies about movies, even when they're the level of Last Action Hero (1993) and The Fabelmans (2022), and when reading reviews of those films, I always got the sense that they're considered mere echoes of this love letter to cinema.

1. Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Topping today's exercise in self-embarrassment, we have yet another Ghibli film. Probably considered to be the most must-watch out of Hayao Miyazaki's filmography right after Spirited Away (2001) and maybe My Neighbor Totoro (1988), this film has a massive stature among animated cinema, Japanese cinema, and who am I kidding - cinema in general.

I think I was seven years old when someone at school was talking excitedly about this film, and I figured that it sounds really good and I should really watch it - and twenty years later, the experience has somehow eluded me for all this time. When I eventually get around to it, I'm guessing it'll feel cathartic - not just because it's surely a really good movie, but also because I'll get rid of something that has been nagging at the back of my mind for a vast majority of my life so far.



Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I finish my "un-movie trilogy" - with a ranking of the top 10 fictional movies and TV shows from movies and TV shows.

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Top 10 Best Movies Never Made

Greetings, reader!


Some weeks ago, I had a fun idea: ranking the top 10 greatest movies that were never made. As any film geek will know, there are some truly legendary films that were pitched, scripted, planned and perhaps even shot - but never finished to completion, and never published, causing endless "what if..." speculation among cinephiles. Out of this mythical group, these are the unfinished films that I would be the most curious to see, if granted access to an alternate timeline where they were released!


10. Oil and Vinegar

John Hughes, the mastermind behind feel-good 80's classics like The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, wrote a screenplay in the mid-80's that tragically never came to fruition. From what we know, Oil and Vinegar was intended to star Matthew Broderick and Molly Ringwald - and the entire film would follow just those two, in a car, for the entire duration. Described as an 'intimate romantic comedy', I can only imagine how great this film could've been.

9. The First Day

The legendary Russian filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky had reportedly shot about half of this ambitious period piece, when the censors came for him. The film was going to be set in 18th century Russia, following the reign of Peter the Great - and Tarkovsky meant to use themes from that era in history to reflect the current state of things in the 1970's, and criticize the Soviet Union's state atheism.

I'm not big on organized religion myself, but as a principle, I can't help but side with the filmmaker making a provocative piece of art against the authoritarian state who only want their mainstream art made via a specific lens (*cough cough*, present-day USA and the shady deals between Hollywood and the Pentagon in the production of any mainstream military film as well as Marvel products, *cough*).

Apparently, Tarkovsky went to great lengths to try and trick the system, including the submission of a fake script to the censors - but eventually, the government got wind of his plan, and halted the project. A frustrated Tarkovsky destroyed the footage he had shot, and the world never got to see what a thought-provoking and rebellious piece of cinema The First Day might have been.

8. Superman Lives

I'm livid thinking about this - we could've had a Superman reboot written by Kevin Smith, directed by Tim Burton, and starring Nicolas Cage, but the ambitious project was ultimately abandoned...due to the critical failure of goddamn Batman & Robin (1998), and Warner Bros. having the wrong takeaway in that special way that only a Hollywood film studio can. I don't even know if the film would've been *good* - this was before the golden age of superheroes, and all three of the attached names have very hit-and-miss careers. But still...best case scenario, it could've become a beloved cult classic, and worst case scenario, it would've definitely made for an entertaining mess like Lynch's Dune at least.

7. Stanley Kubrick's Napoleon

This one is pretty much as infamous as it gets. In preparation for his ultimately unrealized Napoleon biopic, Kubrick apparently watched every movie ever made on the subject, while immersing himself in meticulous research on the historical figure's life. Jack Nicholson was tentatively assigned the role of Napoleon, while Audrey Hepburn was Kubrick's preference for Josephine. In the planning phase, Kubrick's ambition grew to unforeseen levels, with the director claiming that he expected to create the greatest film ever made.

Location costs and critical&commercial failures of similar films in the late 60's and early 70's lead to the project's cancellation. At least Kubrick got to channel some of the extensive historical research he had done into Barry Lyndon (1975), but still...this one hurts.

6. Leningrad: The 900 Days

The legendary director Sergio Leone spent his last years working on this ambitious WWII project. Robert De Niro was set to star as an American journalist who finds himself in the midst of the siege of Leningrad, Ennio Morricone was attached to compose the score, the budget was set at 100 million dollars...and two days before he was to officially sign on for the film, the 60-year-old Leone died of a heart attack. If there is indeed a Heaven, I envy those who got to see this undoubtedly magnificent film getting its premiere in the great cinema above.

5. Spike Lee's Jackie Robinson biopic

On one hand, it feels like I can't be too mad about this one, because 42 (2013), the Jackie Robinson biopic we did end up getting, is a really good film. Chadwick Boseman's breakout performance is fantastic, Brian Helgeland's directing is solid if not amazing, and the gripping and inspiring real-life story is enough to lift the film to a high level. But no matter how much I enjoyed 42, I couldn't help but feel an agonizing sense of "What if?" when I heard that a Jackie biopic was originally planned in the 90's...by Spike Lee.

Again, not to take anything away from 42 - but you just know that the story would've been so much better yet if the Spike had gotten his hands on it. He's one of my all-time favorite filmmakers, and this would've been such an obvious home run (pun intended) - the man proved his knack for biopics with Malcolm X (1992), and the story of Jackie Robinson would've combined his two greatest and most well-documented passions amidst filmmaking - Black history and culture, and sports. Man, this would've been a total all-timer.

4. Company of Angels

Can't believe we were robbed of this one, thanks to years of escalating development hell in the early 90's. A Joan of Arc biopic, starring Winona Ryder and directed by Kathryn Bigelow, would've likely been a massive landmark of feminist cinema! I can almost see the epic atmosphere and badass energy that this film would've rocked with, had it ever been released, if I close my eyes.

3. Ronnie Rocket

January 16th, 2025. My very first thoughts, upon hearing that David Lynch had died, were something along "WHAT THE HELL", "There goes a giant of immeasurable vision and influence", "This calls for a Twin Peaks re-watch" and "I'm sure he has just transcended into another plain of existence too weird for any of us to comprehend". But within the first minutes, one of the many thoughts I had was "Damn - we really never got Ronnie Rocket.

We learned quite a few bits and pieces about this unrealized film throughout Lynch's life, as he would often contemplate returning to this eternity project despite never finishing it. And oh boy, is every fact more Lynchian than the last - it was subtitled "The Absurd Mystery of the Strange Forces of Existence". The protagonist was supposed to be a detective who faces odd rooms and a mysterious train while trying to find another dimension. The plot featured teenage rock stars, tap dancers, and a major character called Ronald d'Arte, a three-foot tall man with an affinity for (or control over) electricity.

2. The Lord of the Rings

Now, obviously I'm not referring to Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which very much has been made and the world is better off for it. I'm referring to something far stranger: a LOTR adaptation by, and bear with me here, The Beatles. Yes, the rock band. No, I'm not making this up.

During that legendary trip to India that spawned much of the legendary White Album, the members of the band also became immersed in Tolkien's books, and decided that they should be the ones to adapt the greatest fantasy trilogy of all time onto the silver screen. They had thought it all through, from choice of director (Stanley Kubrick, obviously) to tentative casting (Paul as Frodo, Ringo as Sam, John as Gollum, and obviously, George as Gandalf). Victory was near...but the power of The Lord of the Rings could not be undone.

It was in this moment that J.R.R. Tolkien, author of the books, took up his lawyer. The rights that the Beatles needed in order to make the film were destroyed. The rights passed to the Tolkien estate, who had the chance to end all movie adaptations forever...but The Lord of the Rings has a will of its own. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth. And for three decades the source material passed out of all knowledge. But then something happened that the Tolkien estate did not anticipate - it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable, Peter Jackson of New Zealand.

The world may be better off with this film not existing, but at the same time, I'd pay so much money to see what it would've looked like.

1. Slaughterhouse-Five, written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Guillermo Del Toro

I am not kidding when I say that I, with all my imagination, could not come up with a better combination of source material, screenwriter and director if I tried. The best I could come up with, in my wildest dreams, would probably be Nathan Hill's The Nix / Aaron Sorkin / Greta Gerwig, or Stephen King's The Dark Tower / Jonathan Nolan / Christopher Nolan, or maybe Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Americanah / Ayo Edebiri / Spike Lee - damn, this is fun! But yeah, none of those combos hold a candle to what could have been with this one.

Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five is one of my favorite books of all time, and it has never gotten the big-screen adaptation it deserved. Then again, it's hard to imagine any movie doing it justice - but if someone could've pulled it off, it would've been these two. Kaufman's dark humor and chaotic genius, coupled with Del Toro's strong values and out-of-the-box creativity, would've fit the source material like a glove. But alas, it never got past the stage of strong consideration - although in an interview a few years ago, Del Toro said that the pitch isn't a hundred per cent dead yet...so there's hope.




Thank you for reading! Tune in next week as I continue my silly "un-movie trilogy" with a list of the top 10 greatest movies I've never seen.

Top 10 fictional TV shows / movies from TV shows / movies

Greetings, reader! Following "Top 10 best movies never made" two weeks ago, and "Top 10 greatest movies I have never seen...